The myth of casual sex – What is he thinking? part 1 of 2

16 Responses to “The myth of casual sex – What is he thinking? part 1 of 2”


  1. BrainsandBeauty says:

    My guess about why the women enter the casual sex fling with you and change their minds is because they think they can handle that. Then as they get to know you more, they probably fall in love with your honesty (great personality, blah blah blah), they probably think that if they could “change” your mind (u no how we do), you would be a great mate because they know you will keep it real with them.

    Funny that you should ask if “we” are a bit nutty when men(boys) are the ones lying to ‘use’ womens’ body’s as if we aren’t living, breathing, human beings. Not to mention how all of these lies cause many of us to end up with trust issues.

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  2. jennie says:

    ^The secret is that we can sleep with you a few times without feeling swindled. After that it starts to become difficult. So if you are serious you have to cut it off after the first few romps; don’t expect a chick to be your fun time once a week for months on end.

    We have better things to do (or more potentially reliable men to pursue) and sleeping with you, despite your disclaimers, saps our energy to do other things.

    So if you honestly do not want a relationship with a woman, cut the sexual fun short. You can’t expect the kind of intimacy that comes with repeat banging outside of a relationship; this is the sacrifice you make for your continued freedom.

    There’s nothing wrong with staying uninvolved, really. But when you want repeat performances from a woman you ask too much, without giving enough in return.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Excellent comments!
      Do other people agree with Jennie?
      So a girl wouldn’t feel swindled if he just disappeared? I have a hard time believing that.

      • Janice T says:

        It’s really just about everyone being innocently ignorant about oxytocin.

        Sure, she’ll feel swindled even *with* the disclaimer – but chances are she doesn’t know why. She really thought YOU would think like SHE does – girls really don’t understand how or why men think so differently than they do in girl world.

        Oxytocin – it’s whats for breakfast (after sex.) Please wiki.

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  3. Kat Lengert says:

    Well Mike, it sounds to me like you’re busy playing games instead of having relationships-sexual or other. You have to expect that dating younger women is going to bring with it misunderstandings. Young people don’t have the experience and/or maturity to deal with the kind of intense relationships we experience now-a-days. Older women may be more boring but that’s where your (men’s) immaturity comes into play and really, if you can’t find a 30 something fun woman, you’re not looking in the right places. Mature women know a player when they see one, they don’t screw around with one unless they want to. And yes, if you want to continue eating at the buffet, don’t be taking the girl out on dates or implying future rendezvous. I’ve had to stone wall my share of guys that want more after a one nighter and it blows my mind when they don’t get the hint-after all, it is a play right out of the guys playbook. Women like the hard to get guy just as much as men like the hard to get girl. Men who label themselves as unavailable is an ultimate conquest for a woman-no wonder women were trying to get more out of you. Word of advice, stop playing games and just “be” and watch out for that cradle robbing-it’ll screw you every time, pun not intended.

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  4. Mike Masters says:

    What are you talking about Kat? What does your comment have to do with the article? and clearly you have not read enough posts if you have made those assumptions about my character. Don’t forget that I don’t write this site for guys or to tell stories. It is written for women to find greater happiness in relationships by understanding men better.
    I suggest that you comment a little more thoughtfully in the future and choose the correct post next time.

  5. Janice T says:

    Hello: casual sex is the train wreck that happens when testosterone-laced men collide with oxytocin-infused women. Comedy ensues.

    PLEASE everyone – school yourselves on oxytocin! Wiki it! End of story!

    Or, as my friend’s dad used to say: “Son, if you don’t want a relationship with her, don’t sleep with her.”

    BTW: Yes, Virginia, you CAN dial down your oxytocin saturation by willing it so – but if you do, you’ll have trouble coming (since it’s related to both binding AND female orgasm) and that will be VERY hard to un-do!

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  6. Janice T says:

    binding => bonding

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  7. LaLa says:

    I think this is really just your point of view. Not all guys (nope, not even young ones), are out looking for a bunch of women to use for a good time. So, I don’t think you should justify your behavior by throwing in “most guys do this.” Actually, many guys don’t.
    But, to respond to the article, true, women are more likely than men to get attached to a repeat dating partner, so why don’t you make your one-night-stands actually for ONLY one night, like Kat said.
    You ask what is going on with us girls? As if ALL women are like that? Really, so you’ve met most of the women in the world… Gee, sometimes dildos are better than you guys….
    I may get flamed for saying this, but if you are crazy enough to actually pursue casual sex (I know many do) at this day in age, male or female, with someone you don’t know, you’ve got issues. If that’s all you want with someone you DO know, I’d say you have trust issues. Sure, we all want to be liked, but sex does not= like. Maybe you should take up a relationship instead of breaking hearts, see how you like it. It’s nothing to be afraid of, really. Plus, the sex is better. I mean what are you trying to prove? You think you’re noble because you said what you want to begin with? No, you’re pretty much a user, just like the guy who only enters a relationship for sex. Players, in the long run, are not what women want, it just shows that you treat us like meat.

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  8. LaLa says:

    Truth hurts, doesn’t it? But I’m sure you don’t want that out of women either…

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Certainly doesn’t, but the wounded angry woman gets so tiresome. Makes me want to masturbate than have to EVER have sex with her.
      If a girl says to me that she wants to be in a casual relationship, I should be able to trust that. However, it is rarely true. Neither the male or female agenda is wrong, what is wrong are the throngs of pissed of women refusing to understand male behavior.

  9. Lala says:

    True, but you say female and male “agenda” men and women are monolithic, when neuther gender is. Not all men want casual sex, and not all women want relationships (contrary to popular belief). You can say “most” but then again, how would you (or anyone else) know that? Have you met most of the women in the world? The truth is, you can speak for yourself, and yourself ONLY. Sigh…men like you just aren’t meant to be taken seriously…in relationships or otherwise…

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Once more your angry assumptions exhaust me.
      I have been in a relationship for the last 8 months, and I happen to be quite serious with her.
      People oscillate, and sometimes that oscillation sticks in one position or another for a while. While this is happening I should be able to be honest with a woman without her being angry that I am not relationship material at that moment.
      You, like so many women don’t understand this and I simply don’t have anymore time to talk to someone who is not adding anything intelligent to the table.
      Your future comments will be deleted.


  1. […] situation that I am responsible for what the other person may not be aware of, see my blog post on The myth of casual sex. In other words I am responsible for the emotional gun they don’t realize they are pointing […]

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  2. […] to walk away at a later point when he’s finished with me. In fact, I was reading about Mike Master’s early experiences with disclaimers when I realized: That’s […]

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