Good Signs! 15 great guys that you should date

by Mike Masters on September 24, 2010

Is this mister right?

Is this mister right?

This is part of the rough draft from a book I am working on with Kim Hess, Divorce Guru

The book is “Getting back on the horse after a break up or divorce, a woman’s guide to getting back in the game” Hope you enjoy!

1. He is open to sharing the bad

He doesn’t appear to keep any secrets, he is willing to tell you things that might make a lesser man uncomfortable. A man like this has learned that complete self acceptance means your “flaws” define you, which is not necessarily a bad thing. The limit to this, is if he starts telling sex stories about when he was in Thailand for a month.

2. Is still “friends” with his ex (but not too much)

He is mature and adult enough to be able to reconcile his differences with his exs. He sees himself as separate from her and thus is able to forgive her for things not working. The immature man has his self-worth tied up in her rejection of him, and needs to reject her in turn. Although this can be dangerous, since if there is still that “connection” you might not be the only one interested in having his baby.

3. Has kids and is a good father

Great! I like to think most guys are like this, but it certainly is not the standard. This not only shows quality of character but a level of commitment to others beyond himself. In converse, I know a guy that has three kids in two countries and doesn’t give a rats ass about any of them. If you want his number I would be happy to offer it.

4. Is passionate but not angry

Passion and anger is often a mixed trait, you want a guy that is passionate about his life and dreams but not angry! Since it is often hard to identify passion from aggression, some businesses conduct interviews during a game of golf, and nothing brings out emotional outburst more than a nice slice. If you don’t happen to have a golf course handy, make him sit through “The English Patient” and if he doesn’t punch something you might want to bet on this horse.

5. Horny, but under control

I like this, I really respect the person that is highly sexual but classy enough to STFU when it is inappropriate. I probably repect this because I am NOT one of these people.

6. Respectful enough not to look at the waitresses ass

This hangs out with the one above, any guy that is out with you but can not control his eyes is a sorry excuse for a man. With that said… If you ever go out with me, try to look the other way or I will wear sun glasses, whichever you prefer.

7. Is Open to communication

Okay Duh… Yeah I know you know this, but you might be in a bit of a crush/in-love situation and may be ignoring the fact that it seems to always be his way or the highway. Also understand the opposite, don’t mistake good communication for him being like Dudley Doright, trying to meet your every need. Good communication is someone that not only is willing to listen but to truly “hear” your meaning. Don’t you just hate those people that don’t listen and are only waiting to talk!? Now, what did you say again?

8. Doesn’t put up with your bullshit (see my killer post on I love that he doesn’t put up with my bullshit)

This one is a really big deal, you know when you are being a shit to him and he says, “you are being a shit, cut it out.” Doesn’t that kick ass??? A guy that has the meat sac to stand up to you is someone that you can resepect and stay with. If he can’t do this? Well, just walk on him and make him pay for everything, after all that is probably what he wanted in the first place.

9. Doesn’t get jealous, except when appropriate

This one took me a long time to figure out. I was either horribly Jealous or didn’t care at all. I think it is very important for him to be confident enough not to freak out over you having 26 ex-boy friends on your facebook. However, I also think it is important for him to show he actually gives a shit when you go to the “Thunder Down Under” male strip show in Vegas, he may not even care but at least he has the wits to fake it well enough so you feel cared about.

10. Is different from you, expands your life

Being with someone different is crucial to growth because all of us need to push the boundaries of our innermost fears. Maybe, you are killer at numbers and always get you taxes in months before they’re due, maybe he is a artist that hasn’t filed taxes in 10 years. This is a good match, you may need to relax your sphincter a bit, and he needs to stop hugging so many trees.

11. Able to grow with you

The ultimate gift is being with someone that is moving at the same speed you are. It doesn’t have to be in the same direction nessesarily, but there has to be growth. If one partner is stagnant and you are reaching for the stars there will inevitably be a time when you will grow so much, that one of you will be sabotage the relationship out of intimidation/frustration. Relationship balance is something we can control if aware of, although there is a limit and this is why, income gap, career gap and attraction gap, are potentially so dangerous. Don’t marry a gardener if you aspire to be a doctor.

12. Substance use is limited or not used

Hey, I love a glass of wine every once in a while. I also like a girl that can have a couple of beers and know when to stop. Alcohol is a wonderful social lubricant, and used in the right quantities can be a whole lot of fun. Any man/woman that is out of college and STILL likes to get slobbering drunk is on their way to a much larger problem. I have to admit I am horribly drawn to someone that brings out this demon in me and if they are cute, I am DOOMED.

13. Likes to exercise

Maybe you don’t exercise and if that is the case, damn it! You should!! Guys and girls that work out regularly are radically different than people that don’t. Sex is better, life is better, fuck… everything is better! Please understand I don’t mean a guy in his thirties that is obsessed with his body (Me..). This… not a good sign, he should have gotten over the fact that girls didn’t like him in High School a LONG time ago. Not a winner and probably a cheater, driven to satisfy insecurities of the past.

14. Works to live not lives to work (unless it is his passion)

There is a fine line between someone that is a workaholic or has passion for their work. A workaholic is someone that works for works sake, the same reason an alcoholic drinks. It is a way to escape life, as long as they are “busy” or “drunk” life can’t “get them.” Someone with a passion for their work is someone you want to be around, someone that can inspire you! However, he needs to have self control over his passion and not have his love life crash into tree, because like me, he is working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. Hell, I am blinking blood from looking at this damn screen so long.

15. Accepts you the way you are

This is super duper important, he doesn’t like the way you look? Doesn’t like your job? Your clothes, Sister, or dog? Big problem, that will probably be reconciled by you picking him apart as well. Unfortunately, a lot of men and women will be fully accepting of their partner when the are in a good space themselves. The second they feel uncomfortable with their own life situation they will project this frustration upon you in a displacement maneuver. This when you maneuver them over to a mirror and force them to take a good long look…

Want to really figure out why he won’t commit?? Why he isn’t getting serious and what to do about it? Check out my best selling book on Amazon for only 2.99! Click here for 75 Secrets Why He Won’t Commit And What To Do About It

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Warning signs – 15 bad boys that you should never date
May 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Fishy February 24, 2010 at 7:59 am

I pray the women of my city are not reading this. They already expect too much.
.-= Fishy´s last blog ..Mildred to the Rescue =-.

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2 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 1:38 pm

I know what you mean fish! Lets keep this away from them.

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3 Miss Alpha February 24, 2010 at 8:08 am

Great list! #8 gets this girl all hot and bothered, btw.
.-= Miss Alpha´s last blog ..The Ultimate Man Sandwich =-.

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4 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Number 8 gets me as well, it is rare that I meet a women that challenges me here. Not saying that I am an ass but the wits to ID when I am full of shit is really really attractive.

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5 Kelly Seal February 24, 2010 at 12:08 pm

My favorite is #10. I wouldn’t want to date “my perfect guy”—I like him to be his own person and have his own tastes and show me new things that I may or may not like. Sigh.
.-= Kelly Seal´s last blog ..An intro to speed dating… =-.

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6 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I didn’t realize how important this is until I started to really analyze why my male friendships were so exceptional. They closest friends I have ever had have always pushed me in a direction I was lacking and vice versa. It never occurred to me that this was also the key to a wonderful relationship with the opposite sex.

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7 Zoe February 24, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Love it, love it, love it! Once again, another fabulous list! And this one is my favorite. Great perspective.

I’m a little wary of dating guys with kids, though. That’s my one grey area. I mean, on one hand: Instant family! ;) On the other hand, uh: Probably an ex-wife, custody issues, kids when you may not know if you want them yet (me!) and the societal expectation that you’ll step in as a mother figure when all you’re (initially) interested in is the guy!

So, yeah, not sure about this guy. But I concede, it does give you perspective you wouldn’t otherwise have.

Anyway, back to my original sentiment: LOVE this list!
.-= Zoe´s last blog ..Confidence: Rock it! =-.

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8 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 1:46 pm

The article was originally written for a crowd recently divorced. I might need remove the whole kid one. I feel the same way about children but I get hell for it. I want my own children not yours and if you are offended by that, get used to it!

Thanks again for liking the article! I look forward to seeing your guest post.
Stay tuned to for Friday, I might actually be serious in that post!

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9 James February 24, 2010 at 2:07 pm

26 ex boyfriends???

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10 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Yes, i have a tendency to exaggerate

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11 James February 25, 2010 at 8:22 am

Ah, okay. Fair enough. :)

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12 PrincessT February 24, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Great list! I would say a bit NO to #3. If you’re divorced and have kids yourself, seeing a man that has kids and is a great father would be a positive trait for sure. But I don’t have kids, and don’t under any circumstances (even if you factor in millions and millions of dollars) want to inherit someone else’s kids! And I’m not afraid of offending anybody by saying it. It’s my life!

I also don’t really see #2 as a plus. I prefer the ex to be completely out of the picture. Far far FFAARRRR out of the picture. Like Antarctica studying the penguins out of the picture. I would prefer he just generally dislike her because I would dislike her just on principle.

I think my favorites are #4 #5 #13 and #15… #1 is good too, and #8 too… and #16 (really really good looking!)… and #17 (with lots of money)…

Now, to find this magical man…
.-= PrincessT´s last blog ..A Retrospective: Mr Commitment Issues =-.

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13 Mike Masters February 24, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Where would we be with out Princes T’s opinion!

Like I mentioned above, this was written in the assumption that you have kids as well.

2 is important if kids are involved

glad you like the rest though!
and thanks for adding the ones I was reluctant to share.

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14 PrincessT February 24, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Hehe :-) i like giving my opinions! :-P And I like hearing other people’s opinion’s too.

I read what you wrote above, and I totally get it from the perspective of being divorced and having kids yourself. And having a sense that a man will be a good father is good for anybody who is thinking of having kids. But personally, I couldn’t accept a man’s children from another relationship. I’m sure there are other ways of seeing if he’ll be a good father… like if he has a dog or something. Oh #18 – is good with animals!
.-= PrincessT´s last blog ..A Retrospective: Mr Commitment Issues =-.

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15 Mike Masters February 25, 2010 at 4:32 am

gosh, I keep sounding more and more perfect for you! 16,17,18… me… me… and ME!! wow!
Now if only 19 were, “ridiculously endowed”

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16 PrincessT March 1, 2010 at 1:57 am

Damn how could I forget the most important one! ;-) now if only you were local (#20)
.-= PrincessT´s last blog ..A Retrospective: Mr Commitment Issues =-.

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17 silver February 24, 2010 at 10:53 pm

i like #9…it’s the “just jealous enough” type…it can be endearing and flattering. however, i have dated a few who claim they never get jealous. is this ever true?

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18 Mike Masters February 25, 2010 at 4:30 am

very simple, why would he insist/agree to sexual exclusivity if he were never jealous? This is part of human nature and to say “I never get jealous” is akin to “I never get angry” “I don’t really sleep” “I never masturbate” “I never look at other women” “I hate junk food” “I never smell my own farts”
Etc…

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19 Jersey Brett March 1, 2010 at 11:44 am

I used to say this too, until I started dating a girl I actually really cared about. At that point, I realized my earlier protestations that “I never get jealous” really meant “I don’t give much of a damn about you and what you do with yourself.”

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20 -NN- February 25, 2010 at 5:49 am

For me.. =)
If a guy can’t handle that I have male friends that are just friends.. (even if at one time there might have been more..).. then he is too insecure for me. Exes are exes for a reason, and past is past, and I don’t have hots for a friend. (If I had hots, I would have done something about it before I met him)
If a guy feels that he can’t trust me on that, then it is better than we go our separate ways.

Likewise a guy who can’t get along with _any_ of his exes, there is definitely something wrong with him. I don’t want to get involved with someone who is so immature that he can’t get over his emotions any other way – or worse, thinks it is always womans fault that the relationship didn’t work.
(I will be his next ex, whom he will blame for everything..)

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21 Laura February 25, 2010 at 6:46 pm

I had a pseudo-relationship for 3 years with a friend of mine who meets all these requirements except for #3 (no kids), but that was it: a pseudo-relationship. He didn’t want to commit and say “we are a couple” despite the fact that we ended up living together, with more people in a shared flat, yes, but we acted most of the times like a couple. Apparently, considering me a girlfriend was too much, though. He kept telling me that I was a wonderful girl, that he loved me deeply as a friend (and I know that’s true), but that he didn’t feel the same as me. Another eternal excuse was that he was terrible at relationships, that we were so different in that sense that our relationship would inevitably go wrong, that he was meant to be alone because he was too selfish to make such concessions to anybody, that I deserved someone better who could offer me whatever I needed and he couldn’t give me. The sensible thing to do would have been to cut any sexual contact and remain friends, but we didn’t and he didn’t change his mind either. The paradox is that he has shared more experiences and spent more time together with me so far than with any other of her other girlfriends (yes, girlfriends) and is actually in a relationship with someone at the moment, while I was just, well, a special friend. It hurt me that he didn’t even want to try.

So, after all these ramblings (sorry about that), I would say that another good sign to add to the list would be being open and ready to let the rapport flow and see how it goes, not killing any possibilities of potential relationship from the beginning because, unless you’re just looking for casual sex, what’s the point?

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22 idontloveyou August 14, 2010 at 3:18 am

I actually love the opposite of me it gives some adventure but not TOTAL opposite. 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 15 <<basically is the guy i like. BUT he is a big flirt and Knows it. then again i mite just be eye candy. You should write something about that…How to know if he really likes you or just eye candy….lets just say im dealn witha pro and losing like shit :P But now that ive read half the freakn site ive got somethin for him :]

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