Continuation from yesterdays post! 25 signs to know, he is NOT into you – part 1
14. He appears and disappears – I once dated a shockingly pretty girl that I was shockingly not into. I couldn’t really understand why I wasn’t into her since she was so attractive, so I started waiting just long enough for me to become sexually curious again to contact her, sometimes it took up to a week! Eventually I realized that I wasn’t attracted to a girl that could get lost at Costco, seriously, she did!
15. Introduces you as a “Friend!!??” – Want to know what he really thinks of you? Observe how he introduces you, or talks about you to friends and family. If he is the slightest bit embarrassed or keeps referring to you as a friend you either have a totally spineless man or he is secretly GAY and he has to think about Barry Manilow to pop .
16. You initiate all intimacy – Do you feel like he is masturbating inside of you rather than making love? That your vagina might be just a wetter substitute for his hand? To test this you might want to lay some porn out on the bed to see if he stares at it rather than you, if he does and falls asleep 5 minutes later, you have a winner!
17. Changes plans on you – Any guy that has respect and concern for the girl he is dating won’t do this. This screams that he doesn’t really want to go out with you and considers a night stoned with friends watching Waynes World more important that you. He’s not into you honey!
18. Your friends are not impressed – When we are in a relationship we become somewhat blind to what is obvious to others. (Part of the reason we need concrete lists like this to ID the truth) Friends and family however are not caught up in your emotional confusion and if they don’t like how he treats you it would be best to listen. But… on second thought you know what is best for you, and that hideous heart-crushing breakup will make you stronger, right?
19. He doesn’t want to meet your friends, He shields you from his friends – This is very closely related to the one above, since he realizes instinctively that he is not at that level with you yet. This could mean that he is not that into you or that he is a recluse that might have a panic attack around too many people. (that beard and the wide bloodshot eyes might give it away)
20. He starts to tease you more than normal – This is similar to number 9, picking on your appearance. The reason he does this is the same reason you might get annoyed with a guy that kisses your ass too much. He has lost respect for you and he is picking on you to see if you will fight back. Cut to the chase, call him an asshole, and punch him in the nose. You might just get him back after doing this.
21. Doesn’t go out of his way for you, like he did before – He used to open doors for you, fold your laundry, and let you orgasm first. Now he won’t even air out the chair he just farted on, he might not be into you.
22. Future talk disappears – When you first met, he made adorable comments like, “Can you imagine how cute are kids would be?” Now he says things like, “I am thinking about moving to China…” I can promise you that he wants to go alone.
23. Romance dried up – Romance is the art of spontaneity. Before he slayed your heart by showing up with roses and your favorite ice cream. Now, “Friday date night” consists of the newest Fast and Furious movie, while he tries to screw you during the sex scene.
24. Starts working out and looking good – Before you were comfortably fat together, now he is starting to look kinda good and it is a bit disturbing. Rather than turned on by his new body, you feel threatened, you fuck everything up due to your insecurity and suddenly he has a new girlfriend. What just happened?
25. He was overly enthusiastic in the beginning – God, it was amazing when you first met. He just swept you off your feet, you were sure that he was the one. You even told your parents about him after the 2nd date. Suddenly he just shut off! And you are left hanging with a broken heart and a mild sexual addiction. (call me if you need treatment!)
Why you may not need this list
Now a small dose of reality, him not being into you, could totally be in your head and you being fearful of him leaving might actually be paving the way for it to occur. I have never wanted to cheat on a girl more than one that was constantly suspicious of my every action. You must consider that you very well might be driving him to this end through your fear, and expectation of rejection. Who in the world can blame a guy for not being into a girl that is constantly analyzing his every move in order to protect herself from hurt? You want a good relationship? Throw yourself out there and trust. It didn’t work? So what, happens to the best of us, but we don’t give up. At the least, promise yourself that you wont EVER be the cause of him running, out of your fear.
Why you might need this list
It is very possibly that you might need this list if you are oblivious to his actions and overly absorbed in emotion. Maybe you are the kind of girl that lives on fantasy Island with the midget and the old dude. Regardless how much you want this island to exist it never will because it is only a TV show and a bad one at that. Wishing and ignoring the truth is a wonderful way to find yourself in an incredibly weak situation. Sure he might not want to be the kind of guy to take advantage of someone sweet and kind like you but he also might find it very hard to turn down free sex from a girl that worships him. Even the best guys are weak sometimes.
So who are you? The paranoid girl that manifests a shitty relationship? Or the clueless optimist that constantly gets used?
Hopefully you are neither and this article just gave you a laugh and a knowing smile from past mistakes.









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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
What a great list! It’s funny how some girls can justify almost anything a guy does… why?!
PrincessT´s last blog ..cohabitation
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Guys can be pretty bad too if they are smitten. It bums me out that I have done this too. I have been someones beaten dog, more than happy to crawl back to them.
So what happens when he does a quarter of the he’s not into you list and almost half of the he is into you list… what say you to that? how is a girl supposed to know….
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He is being a brat to get you interested. He is into you and is pushing you away at the same time.
He is basically jiggling the bait. You should be flattered.
Okay I came across your site because last night I got into a huge argument with this guy I liked and then it came up nice. He told me I should try calling him and so I called him and his phone is disconnected and I haven’ heard from him. I know I am just being stupidly paranoid but how long do I wait until he contacts me? He told me he’s not a villain my friend said he was (which is what we got into the fight for in the first place) and that he did care about me but he doesn’t know enough ABOUT me to date me yet. That part is understandable but the not hearing from him isn’t. Is he taking a breather from the argument/confessional last night?
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I hate to say it Michelle but if he doesn’t have to talk to you again, he probably wont.
I am assuming that the two of you had sex, you wanted more, you got into a fight about it and now he wants to nothing to do with you.
SEX does not = Relationship
Thanks for the list Mike…
Time to throw out a couch……..
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What a martyr!
Throwing yourself under the bus like that and offering to assist all the broken-hearted women with mild sex addictions…..where do I sign up? (Though, I’m not too sure mine would be classified as “mild.”)
Seriously, nice posts; thanks for your honesty!!
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Hi. Ok so my BF of 14 months broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. I was heartbroken. 2 days afterwards i had to stay at his cos i had got a new job and couldnt get home after work so we had organized for me to stay at his. Since then it’s been like we are still in the relationship, just without the title of girlfriend and boyfriend. Sex is still the same, he drives out to get me from work at 10.30pm on the nights he isnt working and i get a lift with him wen he his (we work in the same place) He hasnt told his family and he doesnt want me too, we talk the same (minus one or two things), he still holds me wen we are going to sleep… wat should i think of this?? Cos it is confusing the absolute shit outta me. Wen i ask him how he feels and wat he thinks about certain things he sits and thinks for awhile then says he doesnt know…but i know he does…he doesnt want me to know something…
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