25 signs to know, he is NOT into you – part 2

by Mike Masters on December 3, 2009

Continuation from yesterdays post! 25 signs to know, he is NOT into you – part 1

14.    He appears and disappears – I once dated a shockingly pretty girl that I was shockingly not into. I couldn’t really understand why I wasn’t into her since she was so attractive, so I started waiting just long enough for me to become sexually curious again to contact her, sometimes it took up to a week! Eventually I realized that I wasn’t attracted to a girl that could get lost at Costco, seriously, she did!
15.    Introduces you as a “Friend!!??” – Want to know what he really thinks of you? Observe how he introduces you, or talks about you to friends and family. If he is the slightest bit embarrassed or keeps referring to you as a friend you either have a totally spineless man or he is secretly GAY and he has to think about Barry Manilow to pop . 
16.    You initiate all intimacy – Do you feel like he is masturbating inside of you rather than making love? That your vagina might be just a wetter substitute for his hand? To test this you might want to lay some porn out on the bed to see if he stares at it rather than you, if he does and falls asleep 5 minutes later, you have a winner!
17.    Changes plans on you – Any guy that has respect and concern for the girl he is dating won’t do this. This screams that he doesn’t really want to go out with you and considers a night stoned with friends watching Waynes World more important that you. He’s not into you honey!
18.    Your friends are not impressed – When we are in a relationship we become somewhat blind to what is obvious to others. (Part of the reason we need concrete lists like this to ID the truth) Friends and family however are not caught up in your emotional confusion and if they don’t like how he treats you it would be best to listen. But… on second thought you know what is best for you, and that hideous heart-crushing breakup will make you stronger, right?
19.    He doesn’t want to meet your friends, He shields you from his friends – This is very closely related to the one above, since he realizes instinctively that he is not at that level with you yet. This could mean that he is not that into you or that he is a recluse that might have a panic attack around too many people. (that beard and the wide bloodshot eyes might give it away)

20.    He starts to tease you more than normal – This is similar to number 9, picking on your appearance.  The reason he does this is the same reason you might get annoyed with a guy that kisses your ass too much. He has lost respect for you and he is picking on you to see if you will fight back. Cut to the chase, call him an asshole, and punch him in the nose. You might just get him back after doing this.
21.    Doesn’t go out of his way for you, like he did before – He used to open doors for you, fold your laundry, and let you orgasm first. Now he won’t even air out the chair he just farted on, he might not be into you.
22.    Future talk disappears – When you first met, he made adorable comments like, “Can you imagine how cute are kids would be?” Now he says things like, “I am thinking about moving to China…” I can promise you that he wants to go alone.
23.    Romance dried up – Romance is the art of spontaneity. Before he slayed your heart by showing up with roses and your favorite ice cream. Now, “Friday date night” consists of the newest Fast and Furious movie, while he tries to screw you during the sex scene.
24.    Starts working out and looking good – Before you were comfortably fat together, now he is starting to look kinda good and it is a bit disturbing. Rather than turned on by his new body, you feel threatened, you fuck everything up due to your insecurity and suddenly he has a new girlfriend. What just happened?
25.    He was overly enthusiastic in the beginning – God, it was amazing when you first met. He just swept you off your feet, you were sure that he was the one. You even told your parents about him after the 2nd date. Suddenly he just shut off! And you are left hanging with a broken heart and a mild sexual addiction. (call me if you need treatment!)

Why you may not need this list

Now a small dose of reality, him not being into you, could totally be in your head and you being fearful of him leaving might actually be paving the way for it to occur. I have never wanted to cheat on a girl more than one that was constantly suspicious of my every action. You must consider that you very well might be driving him to this end through your fear, and expectation of rejection.  Who in the world can blame a guy for not being into a girl that is constantly analyzing his every move in order to protect herself from hurt? You want a good relationship? Throw yourself out there and trust. It didn’t work? So what, happens to the best of us, but we don’t give up. At the least, promise yourself that you wont EVER be the cause of him running, out of your fear.

Why you might need this list

It is very possibly that you might need this list if you are oblivious to his actions and overly absorbed in emotion. Maybe you are the kind of girl that lives on fantasy Island with the midget and the old dude. Regardless how much you want this island to exist it never will because it is only a TV show and a bad one at that. Wishing and ignoring the truth is a wonderful way to find yourself in an incredibly weak situation. Sure he might not want to be the kind of guy to take advantage of someone sweet and kind like you but he also might find it very hard to turn down free sex from a girl that worships him. Even the best guys are weak sometimes.

So who are you? The paranoid girl that manifests a shitty relationship? Or the clueless optimist that constantly gets used?

Hopefully you are neither and this article just gave you a laugh and a knowing smile from past mistakes.

Want to really figure out why he won’t commit?? Why he isn’t getting serious and what to do about it? Check out my best selling book on Amazon for only 2.99! Click here for 75 Secrets Why He Won’t Commit And What To Do About It

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25 signs to know, he is NOT into you - part 1 : MasterDater
December 3, 2009 at 10:27 am

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 PrincessT December 3, 2009 at 9:13 pm

What a great list! It’s funny how some girls can justify almost anything a guy does… why?!
.-= PrincessT´s last blog ..cohabitation =-.

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2 Mike Masters December 4, 2009 at 6:29 am

Guys can be pretty bad too if they are smitten. It bums me out that I have done this too. I have been someones beaten dog, more than happy to crawl back to them.

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3 Alexandria December 10, 2009 at 6:54 am

So what happens when he does a quarter of the he’s not into you list and almost half of the he is into you list… what say you to that? how is a girl supposed to know….

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4 Mike Masters December 10, 2009 at 8:58 am

He is being a brat to get you interested. He is into you and is pushing you away at the same time.
He is basically jiggling the bait. You should be flattered.

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5 Michelle March 11, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Okay I came across your site because last night I got into a huge argument with this guy I liked and then it came up nice. He told me I should try calling him and so I called him and his phone is disconnected and I haven’ heard from him. I know I am just being stupidly paranoid but how long do I wait until he contacts me? He told me he’s not a villain my friend said he was (which is what we got into the fight for in the first place) and that he did care about me but he doesn’t know enough ABOUT me to date me yet. That part is understandable but the not hearing from him isn’t. Is he taking a breather from the argument/confessional last night?

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6 Mike Masters March 12, 2010 at 6:07 am

I hate to say it Michelle but if he doesn’t have to talk to you again, he probably wont.
I am assuming that the two of you had sex, you wanted more, you got into a fight about it and now he wants to nothing to do with you.
SEX does not = Relationship

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7 Yumi June 30, 2010 at 8:21 am

Thanks for the list Mike…

Time to throw out a couch……..

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8 Ladeegreenii August 2, 2010 at 1:04 pm

What a martyr!

Throwing yourself under the bus like that and offering to assist all the broken-hearted women with mild sex addictions…..where do I sign up? (Though, I’m not too sure mine would be classified as “mild.”)

Seriously, nice posts; thanks for your honesty!!

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9 EvilAmgel August 12, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Hi. Ok so my BF of 14 months broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. I was heartbroken. 2 days afterwards i had to stay at his cos i had got a new job and couldnt get home after work so we had organized for me to stay at his. Since then it’s been like we are still in the relationship, just without the title of girlfriend and boyfriend. Sex is still the same, he drives out to get me from work at 10.30pm on the nights he isnt working and i get a lift with him wen he his (we work in the same place) He hasnt told his family and he doesnt want me too, we talk the same (minus one or two things), he still holds me wen we are going to sleep… wat should i think of this?? Cos it is confusing the absolute shit outta me. Wen i ask him how he feels and wat he thinks about certain things he sits and thinks for awhile then says he doesnt know…but i know he does…he doesnt want me to know something…

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10 soniasmall March 30, 2011 at 1:23 am

I would only like to add few more tips:

Offering help – If the guy offers to help you with something, like really excitedly “Hey, I can help you with that!” that is also a sign that he likes you. He wants to do something nice to you, to help you out, it’s also pretty obvious – no?

Carries on conversation – Have you noticed that he sometimes wants to just extend a conversation that has led to a dead end? If he really doesn’t want to end the talk and comes up with new topics, ideas, jokes, and if you determine that he does it deliberately – you’re right – HE LIKES YOU :)

Not mentioning other women – This can be a pretty clear giveaway. If he normally talks about women and mentions his female friends but when he talks to you – he doesn’t – then that can be a sign. Why does he do that? Well he just does not want you to think that he might like any of those girls… It’s weird, but guys do it subconsciously…

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11 anna September 27, 2011 at 8:25 pm

my guy friend confused the heck out of me. we talked constantly but we both knew we were just friends. then i kinda accidently freaked out on him because for some reason he thought it was okay to ditch me the one night i finally got to hangout the first weekend after i got home after my sister died. i saw him maybe ten minutes total that night and was by myself the rest. then after this he just stopped talking to me that sunday outa the blue. i found out from his friend that he was wierded out and wanted space and started dating some1 too. the some1 he kept ditching me to see all night. its been around 2 weeks idk what to do. he was a good friend then he did this. help please. should i wait and see if he gets over this or just try and 4get him?

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12 Melvina October 29, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Interesting article Mike!
What about a guy you haven’t dated yet, but he asked you out. This guy asked me out and we planned a date, but he cancled because of something that came up. He asked me afterwards several times for a new date, but this time i couldn’t so i cancled. This went on for a time and now he doesnt contact me anymore. I mean what’s up with that? Doesnt he like me anymore?

Melvina

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13 Anonymous April 1, 2012 at 6:48 am

I have a question.. There’s this guy.. I’ve known him for almost 5 months and everytime we hang out, it is wonderful. We get along so well and it’s like our minds are connected. The way we met is a story in itself.. Anyways, he has been going through slot of terrible things lately. I feel maybe I’ve become too avaiable for him or he feels that way. We both have commitment issues and trust issues, but I don’t usually text him first. I don’t text him unrealistic amounts of time to get his attention. I keep my dignity. But I’m just wondering I maybe he is losing interest, then what ways would I go about getting him back? I don’t really even know if I want him back because I’m afraid of committing.. But nonetheless, I would like any advice you may have. Thank you for your time.

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14 Mrs.Birdman August 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I am reading some of the comments from women asking advice about their situations and I am literally cringing. I swear I am not just a giant asshat who thinks she’s better than they are. It just turns out that eventually you start paying attention to the cues a man is really giving you. Eventually you stop rolling them up in a blanket of excuses as to why he continues to be a great guy who isn’t able to give you what you need just yet, and start seeing him (and the situation) for what it truly is. Life gets so much SMARTER when you figure this out. Knowing for sure that a man is not into you will save you so much time and wasted heartache. I really hope some women read this and consider it. Imagine if life could be so much easier and better than it is now? It can, and it will be if you learn this.

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15 Lynn December 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I have this guy a see occasionally . I’m always the one to contact him first. But when I do he always carries the convo, we meet up. Go out , most of all have sex. He’ll begin to text me first. But if I stop contacting him he won’t contact me. Then two months later I contact him again and the cycle begins again , this has been going on for a year and a half .. I guess I should move on.

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