25 reasons why he WONT ask you to marry him – Part 2

40 Responses to “25 reasons why he WONT ask you to marry him – Part 2”


  1. One to add, when he looks at you he sees his mother. You are cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry, expecting him to check in, checking up on him and asking him a million questions as to where, who and what has he been doing. Men really don’t want to marry their mothers.

    Great Article!!! Too funny!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

    • Mike Masters says:

      Really? I always assumed that most men married their mothers!

      • Ugh. But then some of them expect you to do the cooking, cleaning, pickup after them, etc. So in essence they are MAKING you their mother!

        I really like this series. It has given me a lot of thought. I was with my ex-husband 5 years before we got married (living together most of it). We were also quite young, so I was fine with it for most of the time. But you’re right in that living together like that made the actual act of getting married kind of reduntant relationship wise (well, you do get to have a big party with all your friends and relatives plus gifts/money. Oh, and tax/legal purposes). He was also afraid to get married because of what happened with his parents. But he ended up getting over his fear and being the one not wanting to give up on the marriage in the end. Oh, the irony.

        Anyway, I’ve learned. Next time I’m not moving in unless I have to. I’ve always thought the ideal would be to have 2 separate houses next door to each other.
        .-= lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..FB shall bring the world together =-.

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  2. Elissa says:

    A friend of mine proposed to her Boyfriend of 5 years and we all told her it was a bad idea. He had told her he was going to do it soon anyways (granted he had been saying that for several months…). But she still wanted to do it and she pressured him all the time about it, especially since almost all her female friends were either engaged or married (in the South if you are female and aren’t married or engaged by 25 you are practically a spinster). Eventually on New Years Eve he proposed but only because “it was convenient”- he picked her ring out of a catalog and his parents gave him the money for it. I’m just waiting to see how this turns out.
    .-= Elissa´s last blog ..Overly Protective? =-.

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  3. Kelly Seal says:

    I like this series…have you heard of a book called “A Little Bit Married”? It’s about how people in their twenties usually have “trial marriages” where they have long-term partners for a few years before they eventually get married (or not) for various reasons…like, they are still not ready to “grow up”, they want to keep options open for moving, traveling, etc., and they are scared of marriage becuase their parents divorced. Anyway, the book talks about how people WANT the emotional/ physical/ financial benefits of marriage but don’t really care to make it official. Anyway, it’s interesting.

    P.S. Totally agree with you on #24. WTF?
    .-= Kelly Seal´s last blog ..Online dating meets social networking… =-.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

    • Mike Masters says:

      Sounds like an interesting book. Did they say when I would finally “grow up” and be ready?

      24 is messed up but how many times have we all seen it?? I really think this is shitty and I hope it crashes and burns as badly as they deserve!

  4. Dating Diva says:

    I think you need to do a series on: Why He Doesn’t Put in Any Effort to Court You and Why He Doesn’t Call You and Why He Calls You All the Time But Takes Forever to Ask You on a Date…I could go on and on. LOL.

    And what is this about TGI Friday’s girl? What happened to the girl you’ve been seeing for a few months? Did I miss something?
    .-= Dating Diva´s last blog ..Dating Story in the Making (I hope) =-.

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  5. After reading this post, I can’t help but feel shocked anyone gets married! :) what causes a guy to get married? Is it just for the tax break? I’d love to see you post some reasons why men do get married :) Thanks for the post!
    .-= “Predictable But Fun”´s last blog ..When Technology and Love Say: Comeback =-.

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  6. Jersey Brett says:

    Re: No. 16. Hey, looks matter. If a girl gains 10 lbs in a relationship while you’re dating, most guys (quite correctly) assume that there will be another 20 more after we say “I do.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

    • whatever says:

      OH come on….if a girl gains 10 pounds while dating but it’s OK for him to gain weight. I swear guys have such double standards that they themselves do not live by but expect the girl to fulfill all of their qualities.

      Give me a break. We overlook your imperfections because we love you. What’s funny is most men don’t realize HOW quickly another man can snatch up their unwanted goods.

      Men don’t commit becuse they just dont! There’s no special formula to run through it’s just because they dont’ want to AND for the most Part marriage\proposal is All about them and their TIME LINE has nothing to do with anything else. So MOM’s stop raising MOMMA’s boys and babying them. Raise them like you do your daughters to be self reliate, to take care of themseleves maybe just maybe we will have a World OF MEN and NOT boys!

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

  7. Mike masters says:

    I avoided that one a bit!
    Already got yelled at about not wanting to raise another mans child.
    .-= Mike masters´s last blog ..25 reasons why he WONT ask you to marry him – Part 2 =-.

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  8. Tina t says:

    I love the part 2 list even more than part 1. The Matrix and being “the one” and the S&M and training him had me laughing so hard.

    As someone who recently celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary, I have to say that I totally disagree with marriage being jail. Of course, I do know women who want to make it like jail by never letting their men have any space or do anything by themselves.

    Being married is wonderful, but it requires work to keep a marriage alive. I think that turns people off and many choose to remain single rather than put the work in that marriage would require.
    .-= Tina t´s last blog ..Why Won’t He Marry Me? =-.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  9. Guiltee says:

    I’m a girl, and I read the first half last week and the second half just today. For the past several days, I’ve been thinking about the first half of the list, and now I know why I will most likely never marry my current boyfriend. I feel much the same as several of the items on your list. It’s unsettling, but I can’t see myself breaking up with him even if I don’t see myself with him forever. It’s giving me tremendous guilt to think about staying with him when I don’t feel that strongly about him anymore. Am I turning into a guy?

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    • Guiltee says:

      Btw, I’ve been married before and was the one who initiated the divorce because I was incredibly unhappy and lonely. I’m not sure so it was my ex husband now, as much as it is that I will never be happy and not lonley.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

    • Mike Masters says:

      You are not a guy but you probably are more comfortable in the male role. I imagine you are usually the one to leave the relationship. What to do? Probably get out, people like you (and me) tend to date people not up to our standards for multiple reasons (avoiding marriage, lack of choice, enjoy the power, etc) but it really isn’t fair to the other person. This is why, at this juncture in my life I am very much single.
      I wouldn’t be surprised if more women felt the way you do. We are all humans, having similar feeling and sharing similar sexual roles.

  10. Bianca says:

    Thanks so much!! I just realized it is time for me to move on!! This guy I have been nothing but loving& patient to was previously trapped into marrying his ex cause she was pregnant & then they divorced & then he had some cokehead he was engaged to. So, I realized I am too good for him. He wants someone inferior & most of all, his family disliked me since I am Brazilian and not all white Norweigan like them!! Fuck it!! Im glad that I found this site!! I also forgot , after I was generous with him on his birthday & Christmas, I got no presents..not even a card!!!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

  11. Dr. K. says:

    why he WONT ask you to marry him ?

    Uhmmm…………..because he has a brain, and actually uses it.

    State sanctioned marriage is really an oxymoron, providing leaches
    and parasites so-called “legalities” to steal, rob and pychologically
    torture the unsuspecting dupes they lure into their trap.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  12. janester says:

    Mike, great reads thanks, especially like your lists…
    Can’t find any posts on this, and direct me to one if I’ve missed it to save yourself another painstaking reply to the same question
    We’ve been together 8 months, going great, no disagreements, really! except for one wee Lil irritating quality he has. He goes to his ‘place’ every couple of months. I let him go, have his space, ‘pws’ (Putting up with Women Shit} whatever you want to call it. I of course get typically insecure, sabotage….he breaks up with me. So last time (4th), 2 days ago, I accepted it, said I understand, and left it at that. Is there any hope? I’m resolved to accept its over, regardless of him being great in every other way. I don’t think he’s insecure, he has shared he has commitment issues, but that’s fine, I want slow, but being dumped every couple of months is not where I want to be at. We talked last week bout wanting to grow old together (he told me first), we were planning a June move in date, kids are great together… all’s good. I know I need to work on my ‘sabotage’ issues, but they wouldn’t and haven’t been there, if he’d just stop dumping me!!! So is he question 1, just a dick? 2 maybe not really into me, talk is bs to get laid? 3 insecure fear of commitment? he emailed to say, ‘lets please keep in touch, hold on to the ‘stuff’, and he will respect my space as he would expect me to respect his’ wtf

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    • Mike Masters says:

      He dumps you because he wants the freedom to be involved with other women. Its that simple…
      He wants the security of a committed relationship and the freedom to play.
      Either get a man more commitment driven or allow him his freedom and have an open relationship with him.

      • 1anester says:

        Thanks so much for the speedy reply UPDATE, he’s emailed twice now, first email noted above, 2nd one, endearing, apologetic, blah, I haven’t and am not responding. You hit the nail on the head, would go for option two, but no passion, he doesn’t fight, just texts that this or that has pushed him over the edge and he’s done. At least a good debate or fight might have the make up sex potential of passion, but communication is key especially for open relationships. So thanks again for your reply, it helped :)

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  13. luann says:

    hi love this finally a guys point of view..ill tell you my story my boyfriend has asked me three times to marry him and then backed out…of course he has been drunk everytime…third time we had a room reservered rings bought date set and he said he will marry me but just not right now..so then he buys some property and says he wants me to move in with him..so i did still i havent heard those words yet…he has been married three times and has lost everything each time was even homeless for a while because of it…he got alot of money and i think hes afraid of losing it..i have a house i rent and i still work and make pretty good money..im in debt eith a credit card so i dont think he wants to be responsble for it..if we did get married..what do you think about this well be 2 years in nov…thanks for your time and article.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  14. Mellbell says:

    Uggh. I’m glad I read this, but hate that I’m in a situation where I’m waiting for a marriage proposal! My bf and I are in our 40’s and have been living together for 2 years and together for 3 years. Initially he pushed for marriage within months of getting together, but it was way too soon and I knew better than to go “there” so soon with a guy. Now, I’m ready to get married and he’s full of excuses about why he wants to wait. I have no fears about whether or not he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he does, and says so often. We bought land together and are in the process of building a house. I think he takes me for granted though and I am working on ways to regain his interest. (We are guilty of spending every evening together in front of the tv. ) I work at home alone, so I am always there. He never has a chance to miss me. I moved to his town to live with him two years ago and don’t really have any girlfriends I socialize with regularily. So my bf and I are always together when we socialize with friends and we enjoy it, but I know I’ve lost my mystery to him by doing this. We totally feel and act like an old married couple! So, I am determined to get my own life and my own friends and do more without him. I want more passion in my relationship! I have joined some social clubs and have started going to the gym again (I haven’t gained any weight and he makes positive comments about my body all the time), but I want to be in great shape again. Originally I joined the gym because I thought it would be something healthy we could do together (instead of being slugs every night), but he is not interested in going, so oh well. His job is very stressful and he just wants to vegetate at night. (I think it would help with the stress :)) Oh and our sex life? He is the WORST lover I’ve ever had!!!! LOL. I have tons more sexual experience than he does. He’s a two minute man, end of story. Believe it or not, I actually like that he’s not a good lover. It’s refreshing . I like that for once, my relationship is NOT just about the great sex. I’m in my late 40’s and have had way more good sex in my life than should be legal, so with what’s going on with my f*ing hormones at this point in my life, I am actually fine with the short and sweet sex. He’s never expressed any dissatisfaction, other than wishing he could last longer (he could, IF he would work on it). So to make all this more complicated, I recently told him I wanted to be abstinate from sex until we get married. We are both of the same faith and I’m doing this to honor my beliefs. Not having sex is also a good way to find out if a guy is really interested and respects a woman. It’s a good way to shift the focus to intimacy and can really improve a couples bond. My boyfriend has responded well to my decision and he’s been more tuned-in lately. This is too long, sorry!
    Do you have any advice for regaining his interest and/or stop my doormat syndrome?

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    • K says:

      I can’t offer any advise. I’ve been with my bf for 16 years and am still not married. Talk about doormat syndrome.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  15. K says:

    I have been with my bf for 16 years. When we first got together he said that we would get married, but I’m still waiting. He still says someday, you never know. He was a big help in raising my children. They love him and call him Dad. I’m sick of waiting. I love him, we have a great life together, but I want to be married. Period end of story. Is there something wrong with that? I keep reading that if I really want to be married that I need to put my foot down and if he doesn’t then I need to walk away. Damn, wish there was another resolution. I feel like I’m giving up my dream, he is everything to me. Of course I want to marry him! He loves me too, but just doesn’t see then need for that piece of paper. What do I do?

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  16. alterity says:

    K, tell him that you see the need and need it soon. If he doesn’t propose in a few months, and you are prepared to lose him so you can be free to find someone who is marriage minded, then walk. Every single article and book on this subject recommends this, and I’ve read them all.

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  17. TheVth says:

    My sister has this problem, but not quite. You see, the guy she has been with for seven years fully intends to marry her; he just won’t ask the question. They have actually set the date and everything, but it’s incredibly important to her that he actually propose. He loves her, has stuck by her through a lot of crap and she loves him. I know it’s not cheating or that he’s gay or most any of the reasons you listed, especially since he will actually marry her. But… do you have an idea why he won’t simply ask? She’s made it pretty clear her emotions are fairly strung up in the question itself.

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  1. […] Part 2 of 25 reasons why he WONT ask you to marry him continued here […]

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  2. […] I know I’m not the first woman (or, in some cases, man) to experience the Waiting Game. In fact, the website LuvemOrLeaveem.com practically builds its viewership on this one dilemma (see Mike the Master Dater‘s funny two-part take on this Waiting Game here: Part 1 and Part 2). […]

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