Continued from part one 25 reason why he is not going to ask you to marry him
14. He is a guy – If you are married, you are one of the lucky ones. I hate to say it but most guys I know refer to getting married as temporary insanity. (Many women I know feel this way too) I know this is biased but having the perfect marriage is something most men just don’t dream about as often as waitress over at TGI Fridays. (That is the second time I have mentioned her… maybe I need to pursue this?)
15. Marriage is jail – An old friend (no longer) who has been married to his wife for almost three years, likens his marriage to Jail. He wrote a post for me here, Marrige and death, a married man’s point of view. He hates marriage so much that he verbally and emotionally tortures his wife, he is so abusive that it shocks me she stays. Do you really want to be a cell mate with a guy that punishes you daily, thinking you tricked him into this jail? (You might want to read his post and then leave a NASTY comment but unfortunately only I would get it)
16. You aren’t sexy enough – before you bristle at this, let me explain that this really is more his problem than yours. He most likely is using this as an excuse to not take the relationship to the next level. Even if you were to get a boob job, ass job and a offer a life time of hand jobs, it wont matter. He wants something that doesn’t exist, a woman to melt his fear.
17. You are too nice – If the closest he gets to proposing is when he has finished a bottle of Jack, you might be too nice. I know you are focusing like mad on being so sweet and kind so he will get this hint but this isn’t going to work! In fact, it probably is currently backfiring. Drink a little of that Jack yourself and gather up the guts to MOVE ON.
18. You haven’t been together that long – I had only been with this girl for two months when she told me that she thought I was, “The One!” My mind immediately pictured Keanu Reeves in the Matrix and I thought, “Yeah… that would be cool.” Two seconds later I snapped out of my guy fantasy and realized what she meant. So I focused my matrix powers and ignored her until she went away.
19. His/your parents don’t approve – “Oyasuminasai!” (Have a good night!) I said in Japanese at her mother while she aggressively ignored me and crawled away on a broken leg, and slammed her bedroom door! (Seriously she did this) I really loved this girl but I could NEVER marry into a family that couldn’t handle the fact that I was a foreigner. I imagined meals in bitter silence while her family silently rebuked her for marrying a gaijin. Screw that, if I wanted that kind of misery I would be friends with Moxie. (Inside joke)
20. You asked him to marry you – There is a fine line between hinting and forcing. You do need to lay down the law with some guys that refuse to let go of their forever bachelor fantasies but laying it down the wrong way can back fire. I recently saw this with some friends of mine, she demanded marriage after one year, only to find out that her best friend was preggers with his baby. A year later her married the best friend, ouch… (Maybe this story doesn’t illustrate my point well?)
21. Was married before and it was BAD – Ironically, I think I know more women that feel this way than men. Clearly it wasn’t marriage’s fault but he/she has that association now. Kinda like when you were a little kid and stuck your finger in an outlet for the first time. If not, go try it now, I will wait… Want to deprogram this? Good luck… if it works tell me and I will apply your technique to my neighbor’s incessantly barking dog.
22. You are “Angry girl!” – Why doesn’t he want to get married? because he is afraid! This fear could have many sources but one might be your anger. The thought of tying the knot with a woman that will emotionally flog him the rest of his life might be a little scary. Solution? Get him into S&M and train him to, “SHUT UP AND EAT IT!”
23. Its been 5 years what’s another 5? – This one is insidiously simple and something a lot of couples get caught in. They simply get too comfortable and if it ain’t broke, why fix it? I know you have been patient for an amazing 5 years but jeeze… if you are this much of a weakling I am sure you will put up with five more, right? This is a grave that you dug for yourself, so don’t complain that it stinks!
24. You or he is/are still married – This one always surprises me. Seen it enough times and it still blows my mind. My friend’s brother is having an affair with a married woman and… SHE is pressuring him for marriage! But she is already married!? Does she view marriage like job security? To top it off, he is married too. Personally I think they should give their spouses a chance to find a “new job” as well. (This one plays out in about a month and I am excited to here how badly it goes!)
25. Another woman is stopping him – This one is not what you might think. A very close friend of mine hasn’t slept with, or been physically close to his wife in 6 years. (This was her choice) He became very lonely and met someone he loves very much. He really wants to marry his girlfriend of 4 years but… he doesn’t do it. Why? Not because of his wife but because of his daughter! Of course, this is just an excuse, the truth is my friend is simply afraid. He has been beat up by his controlling wife and is terrified to do the right thing. You would think that when people reach their 50′s that they would be wise, but conditioning is a bitch.
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