Learn to love the game
Last night I met some friends at a bar, I wasn’t in the best mood because I am tired of putting in 16 hours days. After 12 hours strait on the computer I was hungry and I needed a fucking beer.
I walked up to the bar, grabbed a laminated menu, and heard a girl’s voice say, “Don’t pretend, we all know you can’t read for shit.” I looked at her, she had eyes lidded with alcohol, was wearing a tight shirt showing loose cleavage and was sporting more of an inverted mushroom cloud than a muffin top. Clearly she had poor judgment with clothing and behavior. I glanced back at her, yelling over the music, “You’re not hot enough to say shitty things!” and I walked away. Her friend understood me and started laughing, tight-shirt-girl just looked confused.
Mushroom cloud, was a attempting a dig but she failed miserably for multiple reasons. She really wasn’t attractive enough, she was drunk, and her dig was stupid and mean. If she any idea how to use a dig properly I would have talked to her. If she were interesting and funny, I might have ignored the fact that the indentation of her bellybutton, through her skin tight shirt, closely resembled a suffocating baby’s maw.
I have many times mentioned that any initial interaction with a guy/girl is a form of relationship fencing. The two of you are sizing each other up, assessing balance, compatibility and the attraction that has nothing to do with your conscious mind.
Most of us know instinctively how to tease and be playful with our same sex friends but few of us are really good at applying the same behavior to someone we are attracted too. Why? Simply out of fear of rejection.
But I HATE games!!
Maybe you are one of those people that say, “I hate games! I hate games!” insert whiny voice.
I call bullshit… I call bullshit on your bullshit. When you talk to your friends/family you play games but you are unaware because you perform this dynamic subconsciously.
I urge you to accept that game playing is inevitable and not at all negative. The only reason people have anger towards it, is the same reason my mother disposes bowling, she is fucking horrible at it.
Lets choose to play, to be aware of the game. Let’s choose to be a conscious moral player of the game. Let’s choose to have it work for us rather than be frustrated by past failures.
I invite you to accept and embrace the most simple and valuable tool of the game.
THE DIG
continued tomorrow
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Mike,
I have a blast everytime I read your articles!
You are so damn right! Blame the player not the game… cheers!
Take care,
Rach
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Thanks sweetie.
Can’t wait to visit your home country.
Cool! Let me know when and where and I will give you the best tips ever =)
beijo
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Here, here! I’ve noticed a few rules of thumb for playing the game over the years. Being funny will get you a few steps ahead in most games. Being very physically attractive will move you ahead more. However, being funny AND smart and reasonably attractive moves you along the fastest. You can even be sort of mean with that combination…it’s still attractively intimidating.
Sacha
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glad hear someone that understands!
Ah, this game… There is nothing better than when you can interact with someone who can challenge you a little. Just like a night of cheesy board games, you get to use some “skills” that aren’t always in play in other times of your life. (Is it me, or is it a little hot when someone is really good at Trivial Pursuit?)
While I can certainly think of things that are MORE off-putting than a guy being bad at “the game”, it’s definitely a nail in the ol’ coffin when a guy who’s trying to play doesn’t understand the boundary line between cleverness (I like a little playful snark) and being obnoxious/rude OR when a guy just can’t keep up (LAME).
Final note: can we all agree that, while the game is fun, it’s not really what one should open with? (Makes me think, “Hey, we are NOT that close nor will we ever be…”)
@Sacha: “attractively intimidating” is a great way to sum up the concept you were describing! I like it!
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That boundary you talk about I think is an excellent indicator of experience and compatibility. If he can’t play the game it is pretty clear that he isn’t going to cut it in the rest of the relationship.
Kind of like those on line dating profiles that say, ” I don’t do games, if you play games, look else where”. WTF? What fun are you? Might as well advertise I am dull and boring. It does not matter how attractive this person is, that is such a turn off. He just told me he has been burned and is soooo not over it.
Robin´s last blog ..Facebook Flirting updated Mon Feb 15 2010 6:13 pm CST
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Amen Robin!
People that say I don’t play games, scream weakness to me. They scream out that, “I am a loser that can’t handle challenge!” Can we ride the kiddie slope together instead? Fuck that… triple blacks for me.
My first thought is… I DON’T WANNA LEARN TO LOVE THE GAME, I WOULD RATHER STAY SINGLE THAN LEARN TO LOVE THE GAME!!! But I have been reading this site on and off for almost a year now and I have come to trust your opinion about these things… so, please tell me more about this game I should learn to love… will I feel like a fraud when playing this game? how long should I play this game? I’m naturally very flirty, is that part of the game?
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Glad you trust me.
Look at some of the comments above. These ladies understand.
The Game really isn’t what you might think, re-label it in your mind as something fun, positive and necessary.
Oh and flirty is part of the game as long as it doesn’t involve neediness.
Yeah! re-label it. Call it “smiling with your brain”. Can not deny the draw of a great smile.
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Or a large bust, I can’t deny that.
You can lose that large bust with a low fat diet and moderate weight training.
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I kinda like my moobs
but they hurt when I run
Mike Masters´s last blog ..How to use a DIG to create massive attraction
Well, it is all so gimmicky. Nothing wrong with flirting or teasing, but why the need for gimmicks? Just be yourself and do your thing. It can be so contrived. What about just approaching someone in a genuine manner and sharing who you are? If you feel like flirting, do so. If you feel like teasing, do so. But don’t ever force yourself to be a certain way. Sometimes, people just aren’t in the mood to respond to your game.
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I totally agree, and sometimes when you buy a car they really do give you a great price.
Unfortunately this is not always the case and it is nice to have have the tools to bargain.