He will text you constantly!
I imagine that you are here because something didn’t go your way. You text him and he didn’t text you back or his answer was very short. You are not really sure about his intentions or if he is even interested. You feel like you might have messed things up, and all you want to do is get his attention back! I am a guy that wants you to WIN in the relationship game. I apologize in advance for being rough but stick with me!
Curb your impatience – This is advice I give both men and women in the area of texting. Patience is a hell of a virtue and it shows that you have emotional maturity. When texting a guy I know it is really frustrating when he doesn’t take the situation with as much severity. To win, you need to show some self-restraint and understand that he may not consider texting as important a medium as you do. Rather match his interest, and hold back from texting him!
Text back only when he does – Ties right into the above, you need to let him take the lead here. You need to set the stage for the type of relationship you would like to have with him later. If you are the one constantly texting him and showing need, this will continue into whatever relationship you create with him. (This means you will be the one to ask him out, he won’t do it ever) Make sure you ONLY text when he does and it wouldn’t hurt to forget to text back every once in a while. Never chase a guy over text – Probably the biggest mistake ladies make not only with texting guys but in creating relationships with them. Many kick and fight against this concept but have you honestly ever had this work out? Have you ever been assertive with a guy and had him reciprocate your interest? The reason why is because this is the MALE role not the female. If you are the one chasing him over text or in person he sits back and lets you do all the work, then he does his best to sleep with you and disappears shortly after. Don’t do this, don’t chase him over text or any other medium. In my book TextAppeal, I will teach you a few strategies to encourage him to chase you, it really isn’t that hard since men will naturally do this if you encourage it in the right way. (If you don’t like this advice take a second to really think about it, did it ever really work to chase him, ever??)
Don’t allow texting sex talk – You know how men start sexting dirty right away, or look for some lame excuse to text something nasty? This is because men need to filter women, is she sex material or relationship material? If you respond overly soon with sexual texting, guess which category you will fall into. I imagine if you are reading this you want to be considered relationship material NOT sex material. This is why you need to ignore or even get upset with his constant sexual pushing. Resisting in this area does two positive things: you are taken more seriously and pushed into the relationship category AND believe it or not sexual tension is built simply by resisting it. So even if you want to rip his clothes off and devour every sweaty inch of him, error on the side of caution! and never virtually flash your boobs. There are so many better things that you can be doing to increase the attraction, and using sex is bound to backfire.
Want to wrap him around your little finger? Check out TextAppeal – the Ultimate Guide to Texting guys Getting EXACTLY what you want is easier than you think.
How guys think differently about texting
This of course is not all men, but I would have to say the majority of men think along these lines and you could apply this to the real world as well as the texting one.
Texting is a tool – most men do not see texting as entertainment, of course men enjoy getting to know a woman but so often he is clueless that you are the one he needs to get to know. If he is texting you back one-word answers or not answering, it is possible he either hates texting or really isn’t that interested. This is where you need to make him interested! Something I spend a lot of time talking about in my texting book, TextAppeal
Guys are fixers – This ties into the one above, guys don’t gossip (Well not as much). They don’t process information the same way that women do. A guy isn’t nearly as interested when you text about your boss as your friend might be. Most men see your processing of information as something he needs to change to win your approval. Don’t confuse him and yourself by texting him things that he will feel required to fix.
Stop IYHS – In your head syndrome, is without a doubt the biggest mental gap that men and women possess. (Once again I apologize for my bluntness) You think this guy is the one? You just met him a few days ago yet you have wrapped a huge fantasy around him? He rarely texts you back, he has a girlfriend but for some reason you cant see this. IYHS is a deal breaker when texting guys. He will see pretty quickly that you have created a fantasy around him that he will only put up with until he can sleep with you. Then he will disappear. This is one of the failings of texting since your communication is really really brief and you must fill in the gaps of his thinking with yours. PLEASE, Let him prove to you that he is madly in love, don’t ever assume it!
Get the control back, get him to take the lead and create massive attraction
I am a guy that is 100% on your side, I don’t pull any punches not because I want to be right, but because I want you to get the guy! This is a win/win because creating and maintaining this kind of attraction is exactly what he wants as well. This is why I wrote the book below, to give you what you want as fast as possible! This is not an advertisement for someone else’s material but a book I personally wrote for YOU, to get the GUY! Look, it really isn’t that hard to control the situation over text, to really make a difference in the way he perceives you, to shift the balance in your favor. If you are not getting what you want from him, why not use some killer texting strategies to get into his head and launch the relationship to the next level?? Take a look below, you are only a click away from getting what you want. Want to wrap him around your little finger? Getting EXACTLY what you want is easier than you think.
TextAppeal – The Ultimate Guide to Texting guys
Next blog post – Don’t make these typical texting mistakes when texting guys .
{ 15 trackbacks }
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Here’s a great story for ya: Last month, I met who I thought was a great guy. We hang out, get to know each other and next thing you know, he dumps me in a text message!! Has technology taken over humans so much that they can’t dial numbers anymore?! Are men that whack?!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
5 
1
Yes. Get over it and save your energy for someone who digs you.
PS – eventually, YOU will dump someone by text too. Trust me.
Hot debate. What do you think?
4 
2
I’m the texting queen!
A lot of times, when I meet a guy, I tell him Im not a big phone person so I’ll text them instead of call them. Well, last month I met what I thought was a great guy. We hung out, got to know each other and next thing I know, he dumps me in a text message! I know I’m not a big talker, but are guys that idiotic that they can’t dial a number?!
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
Funny!
It is pretty clear he is a coward or he is very afraid of you?
My question is, would you have preferred he dumped you on the phone??
I say who cares. I’ve dumped people over email in the past, and I’m a really nice person – I take care of my Mom(going on 7 years now) and I treat guys great. But there really is no sense in suffering through drama trauma when two people are not suited and they were just dating. And I mean JUST.
Because, come on now – who here is actually, seriously, focused on getting married? Is that clear from the start? No? Just passing the time cuz one of you were bored? Lonely? Be honest now.
I’ll take this “poor me, we broke up electronically” more seriously when people date more seriously. Besides which, if you were dating more than one person when it wasn’t that serious, like we’re supposed to do, you wouldn’t get all oxytocin on the wrong guy. Dating around dilutes that effect.
If someone dumps me over email – I’d be grateful – more time and calm for me to get started on my own healing, I can save face, without him seeing me get tearful and so on. Less chance of that clingy oxytocin breakup drama. Rip off the band-aid, and all that.
End of rant.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
7 
2
I would have preferred he’d dump me in person. But time has passed and he contacted me asking to forgive him and wanting to start over. Guys are such dummies.
Hot debate. What do you think?
4 
2
If you’re going to date him again, be sure to date other guys at the same time. Better yet, date (or SEEM to date!
) other people and NOT him for a few weeks or months before taking him back – and DON’T be exclusive. Someone who dumps you once will almost always dump you again.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
4 
0
Very amusing post. Clearly technology has its pluses and minuses. Still, there is no replacing good ole human interaction. Text sex anyone?
Like or Dislike:
2 
2
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike:
0 
3
yes, no one ever picks up the phone. its just text . text away sad actually
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
2
Well, except the upside is that: the face time is better. If men feel more comfortable texting, AND girls can chill about waiting out texts – I say this is a win-win.
Girls can always chat among themselves, if they need it.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
3 
0
If women would follow these texting rules and take the time to read this book it will change your dating life for the better. Same principles often apply to calling men.
Robin´s last blog ..Calling and Texting Guys updated Wed Oct 21 2009 11:26 am CDT
Like or Dislike:
1 
2
If women would read this book and take this advice I think they would find their dating success would improve. Same advice applies to calling.
Robin´s last blog ..Calling and Texting Guys updated Wed Oct 21 2009 11:26 am CDT
Like or Dislike:
1 
2
I agree Robin. Between Mike’s e-book,”The “Rules” book, and AskMen.com, I stopped making stupid mistakes.
Mike’s e-book is great for putting the reins on girls being too chatty, and swamping the guy with too much information.
“The Rules” basically says the same thing, but it didn’t have any info on texting, which is the real intro to getting to know people these days.
And AskMen.com pretty much clues in the clueless as to how men think.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks for the thumbs up Robin!
If you didn’t realize she is talking about my textbook. http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/ebook/
Mike your book & posts on texting so saved my a**. I am generally a dating ninja/geisha – it’s all about using the right tool for the job
! – but I was new to texting – no more 
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
Also a good rule is if you have to ask yourself should you text him, well the safest answer to follow when in doubt is NO! The one who cares the least has the power in the relationship. If you initiate all the texting you lose your power. Follow Mikes rules, keep your power.
Robin´s last blog ..Calling and Texting Guys updated Thu Nov 19 2009 12:02 pm CST
Like or Dislike:
3 
1
Thanks Robin!
well i want to know something.im the only one who actually starts every conversation…it goes well but i feel like im bothering them so should i just wait till they txt me or what?…..(seeking advise…..)
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
The problem is that once you have established a dynamic like this it is very hard to break it.
You will be the one dragging him out, setting up dates, basically initiating everything.
You don’t want this kind of power balance, so yeah, you should wait. This kind of balance is everything in a relationship and without it you are screwed.
I think it’s more useful to re-frame it in a positive way, NLP-stylee, to graduate to the desired habit:
If you NOTICE yourself following a texting dynamic that is unsatisfying, start REPLACING your texting HABITS with BETTER ones. (<= That's where you re-program yourself) ASK for advice, and MODEL the texting habits of more successful texters.
You can start by keeping busy with more productive activities, instead of dwelling on texts. You can also try ignoring any negativity in their texts, and instead replying back with something funny, that has nothing to do with their (boring, cranky, or whatever) text.
Smart comedy is almost always a really good idea. Not only in texting , but everywhere. It's a good tool for dialing down negative dynamics.
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
I swear if I get one more dull, lame text message like “How is your day?” I just might scream. I really wish every guy would read this book. Most of them suck at this.
Robin´s last blog ..Be His Dream Girl updated Sun Jun 20 2010 1:36 pm CDT
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
Ladies, may I suggest the following:
1) Date more than one guy – it dilutes the oxytocin-fueled one-man-obsession. Plus, guys will sense that some other guy is in the picture, and that just makes YOU look more desirable. Guys always want to cock block other guys, if only to be jerks. It’s hard-wired.
2) take improv comedy classes. Apply what you learn there to texting (especially the “yes, and” game: Whatever lame ass thing he negs you with, you own it and up the ante.) Your confidence will go UP, and you be be oh-so-more of a challenge. Touche’, dude! En garde!
3) Stage work also does wonders for your confidence, which is so key in all of this. Find any sort of class, amateur or even pro group to perform with: local theater troupes, dance troupe, music, written word, comedy, I don’t care, just DO it. Get rid of whatever inappropriate awkwardness or shyness that may be killing your game.
DO keep a little of the femmy shyness tho – it’s cute & prevents you from being all sharky. Innocence is sexy – don’t lose it all, and regenerate it if you can.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
4 
1
You do make a lot of sense, but that is just how women are, they are emotional lovers, and you know something, I can tell you now that some men would not want it any other way.
Like or Dislike:
2 
1
Good call, Mike. I won’t reiterate anything you said, but I would add a tip for women who have an insatiable need to text and just can’t listen to reason. Text something funny or interesting! Mike’s example of a story about your boss is completely typical; we don’t care, and it’s just a problem to fix. One girl I’m dating has this issue right now and I just never respond.
In fact, sometimes I will respond (much later) with something that completely disregards her text- just to hint that I am not going to respond to lame, whiny texts that are mostly designed to show her neediness. I responded recently to some work complaint with the following text:
“Just ordered a L’il Ceaser’s Hot-n-ready sausage pizza. That’s dirty, right?”
Caleb´s last blog ..Entry 109- Christmas Shopping In Anal-Town
Like or Dislike:
1 
2
When Caleb said, “I am not going to respond to lame, whiny texts that are mostly designed to show her neediness”, I agree he shouldn’t bother answering, but for different reasons.
Most women just aren’t conscious that they’re being whiny – they think they’re sharing, or communicating. Trust me, girls do NOT want to advertise their neediness! When they advertise it, it’s just by mistake – but men are right to flag it.
So Caleb’s right not to answer, because that just rewards whiny texting. And funny texts are good too. So right on, Caleb!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I wish someone would cut my fingers off so I would be left with nothing but little knubs and the inability to TEXT. Ever had an argument over texting with your boyfriend? Rather interesting,…needless to say, I wish texting were illegal because it makes it too easy to avoid ‘true’ communication which is face to face and not hiding behind some iPhone. Now, if you’ll excuse me, me and my knubs have a text date.
Like or Dislike:
1 
1
I never argue over text. I just stop texting. It’s more powerful, overall.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I was texting with this for a week before our date, like all the time and he typically initiated the texts. When we finally made it on our date, it went well. He texted right after saying he had a fun and would luv to see me. I texted him, I felt the same way tha tsame night. I didn’t hear from him for a day after he texted (night of our date)…said he ate something bad. We text a bit for the next few days, he initated the texts. Then this past saturday he stopped texting. So, later in the evening I text him…how’s your day? He texts, tough, see I was waiting for this girl to text me and she finally come through at 7pm. nah, it’s been a good day. So flirty and cute that text was. He kept asking my thoughts about our date and we agreed we both dug it. We agreed to go on a second date but he wasn’t sure if this weekend would work. Then suddnely he stops texting. So I read mike’s book on text appeal and send him a text today….Hey Blue Eyes, too busy to text, are you?…that’s just too bad, cuz I thought you were cute!
Then 2 hours later he texts somethin like, Hey it’s been a crazy week. A emergency with family, training and a dick of a new boss. It’s not excuse I should have made time to text. It’s been a few hours and i have not responded….I don’t even know what to say to that. It’s like what???? Dont’ ask me how I’m doing???? Like didn’t send the text intending to make him feel back for not texting so I didn’t need him to acknowledge he didn’t make time. I just wanted to see if he was interested. What do you all think?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Just keep it light, reply back with something like: Poor sweetie! Well, when your problems are over, let me know – I’d love to cheer you up!
Something like that. Then STOP texting unless he texts. Keep it all cheerful, light, and LESS than his.
And date someone else in the meantime!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Newbie,
He offered up an explanation more than likely because he figured you like most women expect one. Sad but true. Men are often conditioned this way because of the drama mamas in their past. No need to even worry about that, just over look the explanation.
It’s very soon in your dating and at the moment that is all it is, dating. Just send back a smiley or a one liner acknowledging his text.
My reply by the way on the night of the date would have just been a smiley, nothing more, nothing less. Hold back something, be a bit mysterious, it’s what draws them and compels them to want to know more, hence getting you that second date.
Robinincarolina´s last blog ..The Real Truth Why Men Disappear updated Mon Jun 13 2011 1-08 pm CDT
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
I really like your website. You share your knowledge about dating topics freely. Unlike other sites where they keep making you read on and on waiting to get to the real point and in the end, they tell you to sign up and pay… I won’t mind paying buy why keep me reading on and on and creating suspense and wasting my time? Nkt!
Thanks. very informative and very sober site.
beth
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have a question.. I met this juggalo named Jordan at this party about 6 months ago now and I got his number a month after I met him texted him and told him its the girl from the party well first I added him on Facebook n told him who I was then he gave me his number. We talked for a couple of months and the first time we hung out at his apartment he asked me out then I was going to move but I changed my mind so I gave it some time and told him I want him back but it took quite awhile. Since I’ve met him we nearly texted he’s was on some drugs but we still kept in contact and hung out. All we would do is kiss and cuddle and waited for sex well eventually we went out again but I asked him out and he said yes but he put himself in rehab so I waited a month visited him every week and we wrote letters to eachother he was saying he loved me and he’d be devestated if he lost me the day he gets back he only texted me at night and didn’t even give me attention…then I got drunk and confronted him and I never talked to him since he never texts back anymore. What should I do I really like this Guy.
Like or Dislike:
0 
1
emily,
You are doing all the work in this. You are texting, asking him out, adding him on facebook, etc…., stop! Now he is on drugs, been in rehab. Boy he sounds like a real winner. Sorry to be so blunt, but I think he may have lied about the missing you or being devastated. If this was the case he would not only answer your texts, but initiate some of his own.
Robinincarolina´s last blog ..The Real Truth Why Men Disappear updated Sun Oct 2 2011 11:39 am CDT
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
Ok, so i WAS texting this guy that i have never met before (you see my friend set us up, but he doesn’t live down here so we can’t see each other…i know it’s a bit weird), but anyway we used to text all of the time and although he is 2 years older than me, he was saying some really nice stuff about me. And he was always calling me cute and telling me that he wanted to kiss me and everything. However, i later found out that he has this huge crush on this girl, and that he has had this crush for quite some time now!
And then all of a sudden out of the blue he just stops texting me, like full stop. I tried to get him to start texting me again by like texting him first and asking question and shit, but nothing was working as he would just reply with one word answers.
And then the other day my friend (the one who set us up) told me that he was talking to her on facebook about me, and saying that he missed talking to me and how he feels like such a prick because he hasn’t been texting me because his phone broke. So i was like, oh yeah, so i text him, and he sent me back a one word answer.
So do you think my friend lied to me? or do you think that he was just stringing along in the first place, with no actual interest?… he is coming down this month and we were supposed to catch up but i don’t know if we should anymore…what do you think?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well this guy and i have been texting over a year, it all started really well. We texted daily and for such a long time mostly by him and him calling me princess giving me few hints. I asked him after a while what do u mean to him? his reply was youll know everything soon. and i had to wait but continued it texted normally. His dad knew about me and when i asked him what does he knew his reply was i cant tell no. Then i asked him what did your dad say then, and all he said is that he smiled and huged me. We never talked on the phone though. and after a long while after all these texts i heard that hes dating and when everyone asks him he keeps denying it so im not really sure. He used to start texts and checks on me. However lately he hasn’ t and its been me hows doing all the texts here, i try to stay for weeks not to text but after few days i do and when i do he treats me very well, but sometime i keep missing him so much that it shows that im very needy to him, Which is a big mistake huh? But now i really dont know how to fix beeing needy to him and get him attracted to my texts, how can I? Ill feel good and more confident if i fixed the way i look needy infront of him i guess. yet i dont want to stop texting but i can keep it once or so a week. By the way since we havent been texting these days much coz im the one who starts we keep it short “2-3 texts a day in a week” please help with adcive here. Thank you
Annie´s last blog ..By: Carla
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I luv a guy who live in different state . We were in relationship for a month and now he says he want break- up but I can’t live without him help me to get him back
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I luv a guy who live in different state . We were in relationship for a month and now he says he want break- up but I can’t live without him help me to get him back and the most important thing is we always used to talk on phone for half hour . He says he want k
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What if a guy texts you mostly but calls you too?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I am texting guy guy as a write this, I do believe that you have just saved me.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0