20 gloriously stupid things guys say to women

21 Responses to “20 gloriously stupid things guys say to women”

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  1. Zoë says:

    Yay! My line got in there! :) (“I’d date you but I’ve seen your mom.”) I love this line because it can go two ways:

    1) I’ve seen your mom and if THAT’S what you’ll look like in 20 years, I’d rather pass.
    2) I’ve seen your mom and she’s so disturbingly hot I can’t think about anyone else – you included – when I’m near her.

    So, there you go. Zoë’s (tiny) contribution to one helluva funny post.
    .-= Zoë´s last blog ..Leaving on a jet plane: A familiar goodbye =-.

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  2. Mike Masters says:

    Please… No guy is thinking the second one!

    And Zoe (not pronounced like hoe) you can contribute anytime! that actually was one of my favorite lines.

  3. Tuppence says:

    Love, love, love this post! So damn funny, but also horribly and painfully familiar…
    .-= Tuppence´s last blog ..Tuppenny Tales Too – Two for the Price of One! =-.

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  4. Kali says:

    Loved this post Mike. I can’t wait for the girl version!

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  5. lisa says:

    We’ll either never speak to you again or thank you for the major groundbreaking therapy session!
    .-= lisa´s last blog ..Lioness =-.

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  6. Man-shopper says:

    a-HA! Funny Mike is back! My favorite part was the bit about the penile foot in the door.

    I’ll try to gather all my stupid-speak for your girl version. I’m warning you, I’m pretty damn stupid.
    .-= Man-shopper´s last blog ..Ms. Speed Dater (Part 2) =-.

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  7. jablueskies says:

    All I have to say about this post is “This is hilarious, Mike!”. Keep up the entertaining posts and you’ll keep me as a reader! lol

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  8. Kelly Seal says:

    Yeah, I’m curious about the girl version. And thanks for the heads-up on the Japanese translation of “just the tip”…good to know!

    Awesome list, thanks. My favs are the cheaters. I think another one:
    “I would leave my wife but I can’t right now.” Translation: I’ll keep fucking you until you tell me to go away. Meow.
    .-= Kelly Seal´s last blog ..Most women go on 24 dates before finding “the right one”? That would be nice. =-.

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  9. Aplus says:

    Ha ha very funny, you have me in stitches, good blog.

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  10. fitness girl says:

    OMG..Kelly,what if she wont go away because she want you to fuck her always? That would be a big problem lol,,,,

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  11. Tracy says:

    A few more stupid ones…

    “Hey why is your pussy so big?”- from a loser with a small wank
    “Hey why are you so hairy?”- coming from a hairless Asian guy
    “I think I am going to go home and become a monk.” to which I replied, “Okay dude, you have full freedom to do so.”

    After knowing a man for one week he said to me, “Do you like marriage aprons?I want to buy you one.” He was Tibetan.

    Another one “Did that feel good?” I reach over to his chest and flat palm his chest and rub in wide hard circles and say, “Did that feel good?” He replies, “No.” I say, “You got your answer, dude.”

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