The six keys to finding and keeping your soulmate. Today’s topic may be why you have tension in your relationships, you might be living in the wrong role!
- Power balance
- Feminine vs masculine
- Logical vs creative
- The archetypes
- Compensating for power shifts
- Mental stability and unhealthy attraction
First personality split, masculine and feminine
Shannon is a really strong girl, she has started multiple businesses and is fearless in almost any circumstance. She has no fear of men and she often enjoys intimidating them. She recently got out of a nightmare relationship where the guy was as strong as she was. In fact he might have been stronger! It was fun for a while because the battle for power and control was exciting, not to mention the excellent sex. However Shannon felt often irritated with him and the fights were awful. She felt as if he were forcing her to be weak and this disturbed her enough to kick his dog while he wasn’t looking. She knew this was a bad relationship but didn’t really understand why.
Personalities split in few ways and in understanding these splits you can understand who you are and who is ideal for you. The first spit is of the masculine and feminine or what I call fire and water so no one gets offended. See my previous post on masculine and feminine here.
Masculine dating masculine
Shannon is a masculine girl that is trying to date a more masculine guy. This is a problem because it forces her to play a different role in order to find balance in the relationship. She allows her stronger more aggressive boyfriend to take on the role that she follows with friends and coworkers. This usually can be sustained but unfortunately a fiery girl has to be with an extremely fiery guy to back down and this kind of guy is usually not healthy. (I once met a pro bodybuilder couple, the fights were unbelievable and violent)
Feminine dating feminine
This leads to the same situation, one partner is going to have to be bumped into the masculine in order to maintain the balance. This was most likely the problem with my last serious relationship. I was dating a Japanese girl that was very very feminine so I was forced to the masculine. This was acceptable to me for a while since it was the first easy going relationship I have ever had. However! I was not playing my true role and I was bored in the relationship. She seemed to be happy but the power balance was off and she became my satellite. Not sexy…
Ever notice how there is often a male female balance between homosexual couples? Often it’s not clear cut OR it is painfully obvious! How many times have we seen the butch lesbian or the effeminate guy with their opposite. I have heard arguments against this sexual stratification but I have seen it disproved too many times to listen.
So what is your perfect balance?
I would first ask myself, what am I, more fire or more water? Where am I comfortable? Is my closest friend more fire or water? Am I living out the role that I meant to or am I constantly forced to be someone I am not?
Don’t worry if you don’t really know yet we will keep addressing this as we go.
Soon to come, the next personality split, logical vs creative.
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Soulmate, the secret to finding your perfect match – Logical vs Creative