“What the fuck does she have that I don’t?” Like a petulant child she thrust out her ridiculously large breasts and put her hands on her narrow hips. “Are you serious, you want to give up on this??” She motioned with a Vanna White hand towards a body that would capture the eyes of women as strongly as men. Neggy was unbelievably sexy but I would have preferred to force a large grapefruit up my butt than sleep with her again.
“Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man that’s tired of fucking her.”
I stopped sleeping with knockout Neggy because I met someone that actually stimulated all of me and not just my testicles. Neggy was one of these people that was so attractive that she could rely 100% on the physical, and thus never developed her mental attraction. It disturbed me vastly that I was as drawn to her as a dog would be to sniff another’s butt. I internally shook my head, I had to get control over my nuts.
As I wrestled mental control from traitorous fat hairy amigos, I met another girl that opened my understanding. She had a body like a 15 year old boy, wasn’t a knockout, was cool/funny as hell and I was stupid attracted to her. Why? Because I needed more sustenance than just dessert, I needed growth and passion, challenge and strife. The new girl was a 7-course feast and Neggy was a punch bowl full of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate cookie dough ice cream. (mmmm… makes it almost worth vomiting it back up)
My mind was ecstatically engaged with a woman that pushed and stimulated me, that could fill the sexual glut with mental gymnastics. She created a positive feedback loop that plumped my attraction to her 10 fold that of Neggy-the empty headed narcissist. (Whom I still masturbate over when I don’t feel like thinking)
If I look back on the string of women I have dated they usually are not knockouts except in the brains department. In that regard I have insisted on 9’s or 10’s all of my life. Sure I am like most men, I like a body that I am physically attracted to, but what most people don’t understand is that an amazing mind… that I can mental run marathons with… will bump a 6 to an 8… and turn a man viciously protective of that a amazing connection.
“Why is it that I am not feeling anything towards him? He is fucking gorgeous, really sweet, an amazing lover, but I want to vomit on his shoes when he tells me he loves me.”
Thank God women are wired the same but I think they are willing to put up with the mental inadequacies for eons longer. However, even the strongest female sexual loyalty is inevitably degraded if the gorilla glue of emotional tension does not exist.
“He still makes me laugh and I still annoy the shit out of him.” – my friend Anita on her marriage of 30 years
They still love each other; you can see it in their eyes and the way they sense the others proximity. They have the tension of the mind, there is struggle, there is massive mutual respect and because their intelligence graces the other, they are less of a person without their partner. A developed mind is the key here, they are both brilliant to the other, they are both intrigued by a brilliance the other respects. They have what all failing relationships lack, a perpetual source of beautiful tension created by the others mind.
Imagine if the female of a bird species was more sexually attracted to a male with a large colorful tail, now stamp a few million years onto that proclivity. The male’s tail would get larger and larger and larger, so ridiculously large that Mindy Mounds would dwindle in comparison. This positive feedback would increase in the bird’s tail size indefinitely until it would impair the male’s survival against predation or reproduction. Click here to see a representation of this bird.
The simple reason why brains are more important than a nice ass
Now what if humans were the same but instead of a tail, men and women sexually selected for intelligence and this positive feed back system blew up our brains (heads) to the point where childbirth threatened both the mother and the fetus. Would that tell you something about humans? Would that tell you something about our sexuality? Would it possibly tell you that if you could put little white panties on our gray matter it would be hands-down the sexiest organ one could ever possess?
Sexual selection is a Darwinian theory that is ignored by all textbooks simply because it was not mathematically provable until recently. We might seem like physical creatures to you but the flashiest, sexiest part of our anatomy is that squishy jello mold in your noggin. If you are not using it to its fullest capacity in your attempts to attract the opposite sex you might as well be Cinderella wearing a potato sac to the ball.
This appears to not be the case since we are biased by the fact initial attraction is very much physical and we give it WAY too much weight. The mental is really where that concrete relationship is developed and cemented, not in the fleeting physical.
You spend time at the gym, you spend time on your hair but do you spend time making your mind more attractive?
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