When I first moved to Japan my roomie and his girlfriend introduced me to a truly awful Japanese TV show. It was one of many things I would read/watch at this time that introduced me to the more fucked up side of human nature.
The name of the show was something like “The Stinger” it was hosted by two famous comedians. The premise of the show was to take a solid couple and see if they could get one of them to cheat. I only saw the show five times but they claimed a nearly 100% success ratio.
On one particularly painful show, they targeted the girlfriend. The hosts of the show took the boyfriend into a hotel room loaded with monitors and multiple feeds from hidden cameras. From there, they observed the Stinger, a really good-looking guy that was to approach the girlfriend right after she finished work. As the Stinger acquired his target the BF was insisting that his GF wouldn’t fall for it but the hosts of the show insisted incessantly that she would. The second the GF accepted a dinner invitation from the Stinger the hosts howled and ripped him a new one, sweat started running down the BF’s face. At this point they insisted that he call his girlfriend to invite her to dinner. He did so and we watched as she looked at her phone and put it back in her bag without answering. A midst hysterical laughter they insisted he call again, he did, this time she answered and said that she just made plans with a female friend.
This is when the boyfriend turned on the famous Japanese ability to show no emotion. He half smiled, falsely chuckled, and nodded his head hearing his girlfriend flirt with the Stinger. This is about the time where I felt pretty acute pain for the boyfriend, I could only imagine the stomach twisting nausea he must be feeling, which must have been intensified by the harassment of the comedians. They finished dinner and Stinger explained that he was only in town for business and would enjoy it if she joined him for a drink at his hotel. There was a long pause while everyone waited for her reply, the boyfriend at this point had his head in his hands. “Okay, but I can’t stay for long,” the boyfriend started to rock in his chair and the hosts feigned concern.
As the new couple left the restaurant they did so holding hands. She even started to swing his hand in giddy anticipation. They walked for only a few short blocks when he pointed out his hotel, when the camera focused on it, the audience and hosts screamed with laughter. The Stinger was pointing at the gaudiest, tackiest love hotel in Tokyo, it was clear without a shadow of a doubt the Stinger’s intention. He was, without saying a word communicating, “I am taking you to a sex hotel and we are going to be naked and screwing in the next 20 minutes.
The boyfriend was sobbing but managed to look up as his girlfriend paused, the van holding hidden camera zoomed in on her face. She didn’t answer him but also didn’t seemed phased in the slightest, had she already made up her mind? The Stinger brought her into a convenience store where he bought a couple of drinks for them and then brazenly slapped a pack of condoms on the counter. The camera zoomed again as she looked down and away from the clerk. The hosts howled again with laughter and they replayed over and over the expression on her face. While the boyfriend wept and refused to look at the monitor, the stinger grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the love hotel, she didn’t resist, and as if accepting the situation completely, actually wrapped around the Stingers right arm. They selected the last room left from a computer monitor and he asked her to push the button, she smiled as she did. A light came on and an elevator automatically opened.
She remained locked on his arm as they walked down the hall, if you didn’t know better, you would assume they had known each other for weeks not hours. The hosts hushed everyone in the room and turned off the lights. The Stinger reached for the door and invited her into the dark room. Then all the lights came on, and the hosts allowed the former couple to see each other. She completely flipped when she saw her boyfriend, and tried to bolt out the door only to be encumbered by the Stinger. Screaming and crying she ran out the door and the cameras followed. The Stinger had done his job, he had destroyed her moral compass by being handsome, confident, and charming. It had only taken him two hours to get her to consent to cheating on her boyfriend and fiancé of two years.
I too have made this mistake when I was younger and it wasn’t helped by the fact that the girl in question was ridiculously hot and as horny as a cat in heat. After the fact I have never felt such guilt but during it I was completely shut off, I didn’t care, all I wanted was to have sex with this gorgeous girl.
While there are some people out there that have the sexual fortitude to resist any situation, I think it is the exception not the norm, why is this? The problem is that we assume that we have the ability to deny the inappropriate but when tested so many of us fail. If our greatest moral values are thrown out the window by our sexual animal mind can we actually ever be moral creatures?
I think there are two answers to this, one is easy, accept the demands that the animal sexual mind makes and give in. This would be coupled with full disclosure to ones partner, in other words, an open relationship.
The second is to know ones moral weaknesses and avoid situations that would encourage this breakdown. This is why your recovering alcoholic isn’t hanging out in the bars, the temptation to act is too great.