My morality is inversely proportional to her hotness – A cheater’s story

by Mike Masters on February 9, 2011

I wonder what kind of offspring would they produce?

When I first moved to Japan my roomie and his girlfriend introduced me to a truly awful Japanese TV show. It was one of many things I would read/watch at this time that introduced me to the more fucked up side of human nature.

The name of the show was something like “The Stinger” it was hosted by two famous comedians. The premise of the show was to take a solid couple and see if they could get one of them to cheat. I only saw the show five times but they claimed a nearly 100% success ratio.

On one particularly painful show, they targeted the girlfriend. The hosts of the show took the boyfriend into a hotel room loaded with monitors and multiple feeds from hidden cameras. From there, they observed the Stinger, a really good-looking guy that was to approach the girlfriend right after she finished work. As the Stinger acquired his target the BF was insisting that his GF wouldn’t fall for it but the hosts of the show insisted incessantly that she would. The second the GF accepted a dinner invitation from the Stinger the hosts howled and ripped him a new one, sweat started running down the BF’s face. At this point they insisted that he call his girlfriend to invite her to dinner. He did so and we watched as she looked at her phone and put it back in her bag without answering. A midst hysterical laughter they insisted he call again, he did, this time she answered and said that she just made plans with a female friend.

This is when the boyfriend turned on the famous Japanese ability to show no emotion. He half smiled, falsely chuckled, and nodded his head hearing his girlfriend flirt with the Stinger. This is about the time where I felt pretty acute pain for the boyfriend, I could only imagine the stomach twisting nausea he must be feeling, which must have been intensified by the harassment of the comedians. They finished dinner and Stinger explained that he was only in town for business and would enjoy it if she joined him for a drink at his hotel. There was a long pause while everyone waited for her reply, the boyfriend at this point had his head in his hands. “Okay, but I can’t stay for long,” the boyfriend started to rock in his chair and the hosts feigned concern.

As the new couple left the restaurant they did so holding hands. She even started to swing his hand in giddy anticipation. They walked for only a few short blocks when he pointed out his hotel, when the camera focused on it, the audience and hosts screamed with laughter. The Stinger was pointing at the gaudiest, tackiest love hotel in Tokyo, it was clear without a shadow of a doubt the Stinger’s intention. He was, without saying a word communicating, “I am taking you to a sex hotel and we are going to be naked and screwing in the next 20 minutes.

The boyfriend was sobbing but managed to look up as his girlfriend paused, the van holding hidden camera zoomed in on her face. She didn’t answer him but also didn’t seemed phased in the slightest, had she already made up her mind? The Stinger brought her into a convenience store where he bought a couple of drinks for them and then brazenly slapped a pack of condoms on the counter. The camera zoomed again as she looked down and away from the clerk. The hosts howled again with laughter and they replayed over and over the expression on her face. While the boyfriend wept and refused to look at the monitor, the stinger grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the love hotel, she didn’t resist, and as if accepting the situation completely, actually wrapped around the Stingers right arm. They selected the last room left from a computer monitor and he asked her to push the button, she smiled as she did. A light came on and an elevator automatically opened.

She remained locked on his arm as they walked down the hall, if you didn’t know better, you would assume they had known each other for weeks not hours. The hosts hushed everyone in the room and turned off the lights.  The Stinger reached for the door and invited her into the dark room. Then all the lights came on, and the hosts allowed the former couple to see each other. She completely flipped when she saw her boyfriend, and tried to bolt out the door only to be encumbered by the Stinger. Screaming and crying she ran out the door and the cameras followed. The Stinger had done his job, he had destroyed her moral compass by being handsome, confident, and charming. It had only taken him two hours to get her to consent to cheating on her boyfriend and fiancé of two years.

I too have made this mistake when I was younger and it wasn’t helped by the fact that the girl in question was ridiculously hot and as horny as a cat in heat. After the fact I have never felt such guilt but during it I was completely shut off, I didn’t care, all I wanted was to have sex with this gorgeous girl.

While there are some people out there that have the sexual fortitude to resist any situation, I think it is the exception not the norm, why is this? The problem is that we assume that we have the ability to deny the inappropriate but when tested so many of us fail. If our greatest moral values are thrown out the window by our sexual animal mind can we actually ever be moral creatures?

I think there are two answers to this, one is easy, accept the demands that the animal sexual mind makes and give in. This would be coupled with full disclosure to ones partner, in other words, an open relationship.

The second is to know ones moral weaknesses and avoid situations that would encourage this breakdown. This is why your recovering alcoholic isn’t hanging out in the bars, the temptation to act is too great.

“If you are a recovering cocaine addict, don’t move to Columbia.” –Me

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1 Man-shopper February 9, 2011 at 10:01 am

Watching this show would make me so uncomfortable. Such a blatant and unadulterated display of the tawdry bits of human nature is not something that we, as moral beings, want to be confronted with, even in the context of “entertainment”!
Man-shopper´s last blog post ..Ms Alpine Goddess

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2 Mike Masters February 9, 2011 at 11:07 am

I thought the same thing at first but honesty I was incredibly fascinated. It is really interesting that such an emotionally repressed society would have such fucked up shows.
Correct me if I am wrong but I think you are saying that, we as “moral” beings have a very hard time seeing that we don’t have as much control over that morality as we think we do. I imagine, that is why we love and hate a TV show like this?

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3 Man-shopper February 9, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Exactly! Love and hate. Feeling that constant tug of war. Fascinated, but not wanting to be fascinated. Nobody likes to be that conflicted and out of control, especially of their own moral compass.
Man-shopper´s last blog post ..Ms Alpine Goddess

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4 Mike Masters February 9, 2011 at 8:28 pm

This is what I call the arrogance of the conscious mind. It is the only one of the “minds” that is self aware and because of this, it thinks that it is 100% at the tiller. However, the ocean and the wind are powerful forces and cannot be overcome.

Whew… that was a tiny bit esoteric. Maybe I am trying to sounds smart because you used the word “tawdry”

I think this is why we are so drawn to reality shows, we are intrigued by the sex and lies. We enjoy sitting on the sidelines and saying things like, “What a fucking whore!” Is this because the conscious mind revels in criticizing others to give itself a pseudo sense of control, rightness? Is this why we don’t say to ourselves, “I’m a fucking whore!” because even though we have committed a similar crime, the conscious mind is severely resistant to admitting that the wind and the ocean exist?

Sorry, thinking out loud.

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5 Man-shopper February 10, 2011 at 10:50 am

I love the word tawdry! I also love other words in the same genre, like lurid, saucy, salacious, cheeky, pert, lascivious, lewd, lecherous, libidinous, and debauched. They just sound exactly how they mean!

Don’t apologize for thinking aloud, you make perfect sense. It’s much easier to condemn someone else for being a whore than it is to acknowledge that we lost control of our own moral compass. I’ll be the first to admit it, when I watch reality TV, it’s because it makes me feel better about myself. I can say to myself, “Hey, at least I’m not as messed as THAT chick on the screen right now.”
Man-shopper´s last blog post ..Ms Lingerie Goddess

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6 FeistyWoman February 9, 2011 at 8:46 pm

This reminds me of a Nickelodeon show gone really bad erring on the side of nightmarish. It’s pretty atrocious that preying on peoples’ weaknesses has become the butt/crux of reality TV. That’s why I don’t watch it. It’s vultures circling dead slaughtered pigs.

As far as temptation, it’s illogical to weigh the consequences when we are so overtaken by chemical lust. But it isn’t impossible. I had a GORGEOUS guy I worked with up close and personal for 2 straight years that I managed to resist. But it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t excruciating. In fact, it was the biggest most painful cruel joke of my life. All that man, and none for me.
FeistyWoman´s last blog post ..What Does It Mean When He Says That He Loves Me

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7 Mike Masters February 9, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Yeah I am with you, I want to vomit on most of them. The Stinger though was so intense and wrong that I couldn’t pull away.

Yes one can resist if there is a great enough pain to do so but what if you met him alone at a bar, and had a couple of drinks. Would you be able to resist?

So I assume you are married and that i why you needed to resist?

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8 FeistyWoman February 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Indeed, I am married. I can admit that if we were alone at a bar, chances would definitely be greater. The thing is, it wasn’t so much because he was gorgeous but because the attraction was so intense. The chemistry was unbelievable. He was the thunderbolt- the one that doesn’t come along but once in a lifetime, who just happened to be hotter than a MFer.

That’s why if I was in that girl’s situation facing down the Stinger, hot or not, if I wasn’t crazy physically attracted to him, I would easily resist. I’ve met a lot of hot guys that did absolutely nothing for me attraction wise. So the Stinger must’ve been completely effing sensational for her to want to go out and drop trou and get on with it in 10 sec flat. Seems more like she’d do it with anybody that was hot anyway. She shouldn’t have been engaged.
FeistyWoman´s last blog post ..What Does It Mean When He Says That He Loves Me

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9 Mike Masters February 11, 2011 at 7:35 pm

The fact that you are/were married had a lot to do with that chemistry, I would argue. The inappropriate nature of “flirting” with infidelity is a form of negative sexual tension and is very arousing to both parties. The other negative tension was the fact that you worked with him. The third thing was the because you constantly were “rubbing shoulders” there was non stop, rhythmic, tapping on the clitoris of arousal. I think I would have just separated from my husband for a week, fucked this guys brains out, and then got back with my husband.

The reason the Stinger did so well is complicated by Japanese culture. It would take far too long to explain, but yes, if this were an American girl she probably would have slowed the process of cheating down but she might have still gone for it. If you are curious as to why I would be fine answering.

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10 FeistyWoman February 12, 2011 at 11:24 pm

I’m not going to lie. I wanted that guy so bad, I could taste it every rotten day of my life I had to be around him. I dreamed for months on end of doing what you suggested, even after I ceased working with him (he was why I had to quit the job in the first place). For months I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep or do anything without thinking about it, even though I was determined to put him out of my mind. It was one of the sickest things I’ve ever had to endure in my life. I could have balled him alright, but I think I could’ve also fallen for him. And he, much like you do to your unsuspecting victims, would’ve shaved down my heart like hot lava seeping through trees down a hillside.

Perhaps you could explain the intricacies of the Japanese culture and how it played a hand in this. I know it’s an entire world unto itself. Their game shows are off the effing chain- in fact, they’re well beyond the realm of what we consider strange. Do tell….. ;)
FeistyWoman´s last blog post ..A Valentine’s Day Horror Story

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11 Lance February 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Mike, great post, and great convo going on in the comments. FiestyWoman had an interesting and tough situation. @Feisty, I would have nailed the guy!! I hate to think about going to my grave and missing out on fantastic sexual experiences. Who knows when we’ll meet another partner that we have amazing chemistry with and the sex is off the charts? Those connections are not particularly common.

Of course, I’m not married and I’m not a big proponent of monogamy, either, so it would have been easy for me.

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12 Memoirs of a Single Dad March 8, 2011 at 6:59 am

Just READING about the show made me uncomfortable! It reminds me of that show, “Cheaters” on TV now. Although, Cheaters isn’t quite as contrived as “Stinger” was. My dating experiences have taught me that women aren’t as unlikely to cheat as I thought they were. They’re just (often) sneakier about it. I met way more married women ‘out’ than I ever expected to.
Memoirs of a Single Dad´s last blog post ..Dating Rules of Engagement – Part III

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13 Mike Masters March 8, 2011 at 10:29 am

Amen!!! What women don’t realize is that they are so much better than men at lying AND because of that they don’t realize it!
Women are probably more angry at men, not because they cheat but because the lie worse than women do…

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14 Bree Talon June 16, 2011 at 10:56 am

My little bro lives in Tokyo and he’s always telling me about crazy stuff like this. Being somewhat acquainted with Japanese stoicism myself, I can appreciate why this show was so popular.
I especially enjoyed the moral dilemma you pose, and my response is that you can never know the measure of your fortitude or resolve until you’ve been tested.
I agree with you, the key lies in being honest: with ourselves and with our partners, not always an easy task when we’re confronted with that animal part of our brain that likes to try to take over the driver’s seat.
My good friend says he “tells the machine what to do” not the other way around, in dealing with his animal ‘urges’ haha perhaps he’s an exception to the rule but I still think you don’t know how you’re going to behave until confronted with the right provocation.

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15 Married Chick March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Why am I so turned on by that show?

I know I could resist only because of my lack of experience. I’ve only ever kissed/slept with my husband and while my desire and sexual fantasies I have are out of control, my lack of experience stops me from tasting another sexual experience. I know if I tried one other male, I wouldn’t/couldn’t stop.

I would love the world to accept polyagomy because my husband bores the shit out of me right now.

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