Whose reality is stronger, how he can change you! 5 of 5

39 Responses to “Whose reality is stronger, how he can change you! 5 of 5”

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  1. Mike Masters says:

    Didn’t mean for that entry to get so serious! and I don’t want the reader to get lost on the negative only! This can be a powerful tool for you to use in your favor.

  2. Christina says:

    So sorry I had to go, I wasn’t quite done talking with you but will have to continue that later……so uhhh this was uncomfortable, even for me to read. Astonishing that someone would have or want this…..it is morally wrong, but it was either her only previous experience or something she wanted to try on, uh yeah that doesn’t sound right. However, a thought did pop for me, I have a friend that has this as a fantasy, but also wants control of the experience. She to this day does not understand you have no control in that type of situation, I mean in the act. The control you have is keeping it a reality that it is a wrong situation to put oneself in.
    It is also a good point you made that we all can be sucked in to the vortex that is someone else’s bubble, I think even I do that at times without realizing. Even thought it was uncomfortable I still feel it was a very important experience to share and many readers need to know. Thanks love C

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    • Mike Masters says:

      @Christina thanks for stopping by! It was really awful to experience this but of course I have worse… i won’t share those over the blog but maybe over some whiskey!?

      @Sarah at the time I was just becoming who I am today. I was passing through the gauntlet of self absorption most people go though in high school. Oh wait… maybe I am still going through it?
      I think I am well defined now, I know who I am and I would smell that girls sickness a mile away. (curious to see what I would do now)

  3. Sarah says:

    That hurts all the way over here to New York, my friend. It literally makes me want to be sick–her treatment of you was awful, but in some sense her treatment of herself was even worse. What a broken wretch of a soul. I am so sorry!!!!

    But to your take home point:”To thine own self be true” as the saying goes. Be who you are, be confident in that, and calmly yet authoritatively radiate that confident self image where ever you go–you’ll find that that’s the way people will treat you. This is true in relationships of any sort–love, work, family (sometimes it doesn’t work there though), friends, sports, whatever!

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  4. Sarah says:

    @Mike–I know you are your own self. Slipped up there on the use of the rhetorical you. Next time I’ll get all Victorian and say “one shall”, or “one ought,” or “one must” :)

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  5. Christina says:

    when you are in town next I’ll pour and your welcome love to read the blog

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  6. QTMama says:

    Wow, Sarah is right you know. Her treatment of you was sorry, but her treatment of herself was downright pitiful. I could not, on the lowest day and point in my life, hmmm, or the most drunkest point either, imagine saying, “rape me” to a man. Christ Almighty.

    I dig your theory of the bubble reality. It’s a good analogy actually. Sometimes though, it’s learning who we are, and accepting ourselves for who and what we are that can be in the kick in the ass.

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  7. Jillian says:

    Sorry guys, I love each and every one of you, not in a stalker way, but enough to tell you that I completely disagree with you. I think this was a fantasy for her. It seems odd to me that she would trust Mike enough to live it out with someone she barely knew, but the feeling I get from this is that she wanted to absolve her own responsibility for her half of the situation for a night and that she wanted Mike to be the aggressor for a night.

    The rape fantasy is actually a pretty common one, from my understanding and I don’t think less of Mike for the half a second he actually considered going along with it. It allowed him to let go and take charge for once as well. She was still giving her permission for the act and it allowed his own fantasy of being completely in charge to take over.

    Please note that I don’t advocate this kind of love play in a new relationship or endorse the feelings behind it. They can be dangerous. But I don’t think it’s as crazy or as self-loathing as it might seem.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      @QTMama it was pretty darn creepy!! I really like the bubble theory too, it has been ten years in the making. This is why I believe is is imperative you choose well with the people you spend time with!

      @Sarah, I was just rambling

      @Jillian Rape fantasy? I don’t think so, I think she had been raped a few times and associated it as an acceptable practice. As for the fantasy part, of course it is common, I think all girls have wrestled with their boyfriends while he tried to have his way. Sometimes they stopped him because it was freaky or they got into it. Was it associated with her self esteem?, absolutely!!! I don’t believe for a second that she would like herself the next day, she was conditioned to believe it was right or okay. This girl had zero self confidence and if she had it she would have the guts to know this was wrong. She was seriously fucked up in the head…
      “allowed him to let go and take charge for once” Jillian!!?? what do you think of me?? that someone who calls themselves the masterdater would be passive in bed?? not take charge?? This was unhealthy and I was going to have nothing to do with it.
      Reminds me of a girl who told me I could choke her if I wanted to, her ex used to do it and she didn’t mind. Deviant sexual behavioral is undoubtedly associated with self esteem or drug use (which of course leads back to self esteem)

  8. Jillian says:

    @Mike Actually, I do think you may be more submissive than you let on, Mr. Water. I don’t doubt that there is some sexual abuse in the past, but that doesn’t mean there was any sexual fantasy that was part of this. Acceptable practice has it’s basis in that fantasy arena. It’s what it takes for her to get where she needs to go. Victims often have difficulty with accepting that they enjoyed what was happening to them.

    To say that she was off her rocker feels misleading because we don’t know what caused her to get to this point. If it was part of her fantasy and she associates that fear and feelings with it to enjoyment, she may be ok with it. It may be part of her adaptive defense mechanisms and it may be how she’s convinced herself that she’s still ok regardless of what happened to her?

    Granted, this is all of us making a LOT of assumptions about this girl.

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  9. Sha says:

    Wow, that was deep.
    A very strong write on “know your reality, and defend it”. Very good Mike.
    Thanks for the honesty.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      @Jillian The axe murderer has a very good excuse but I am not going to hang out with him. It does not matter to me what has happened to her or if it is justified. She like the axe murderer has an agenda I do not share. Labeling her may not be “fair” but it is a very effective way to avoid what I consider illness.
      and… Punk.. You get divorced and lets have a talk about how watery I am… 😉

      @Sha good to see you around! Protecting your power/reality is very important! I have had it stolen so many times and every time I kick myself thinking… “damn it! again?? really??”

  10. Jillian says:

    @Mike I’m not saying that you have to go along with her fantasy. I’m just saying that she can’t defend herself on this and I’d be interested in her side of this. I agree with you totally in that we do what we have to do in relationships to avoid places that are too dark for us and, in this case, I do think you were justified in doing so. My point is that we, being the commenters, weren’t there, and so for us to label isn’t fair.

    Hahahahahah. Flirt. I’ll keep it in mind, punk.

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  11. Sarah says:

    @Jillian–good points about not judging this girl, though I still can’t help but think that something is still pretty broken if she has to have such a convoluted defense mechanism for dealing with it. I’m thinking of Freud here, and descriptions of how symptoms emerge from negative sexual experienced that may be deeply repressed and unrecognizable to the person, but emerge as somewhat odd behaviors. But you’re right, without knowing her, it’s hard to say anything meaningful.

    @Mike–you’re incorrigible, flirting with a married woman that way!! 😉

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  12. Jillian says:

    *whistles innocently*

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  13. Sarah says:

    Yeah, I see you flirting right back… but then how can we resist our dear Mike?

    *sly grin*

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  14. Jillian says:

    Why, Sarah, I have no idea what you might be talking about?

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  15. Sarah says:

    Oh, of course not! *big innocent eyes*

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  16. Jillian says:

    Huh? What were we talking about? Bunnies?

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  17. Sarah says:

    Oh yeah, that was it, cute furry little bunnies….and that in the Hopi culture, a man presents the woman he desires with two bunnies. :)

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  18. Jillian says:

    Hrm. Let’s just say I’ve haven’t been presented any bunnies and I’m not the Hopi man’s type in the slightest. 😉

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  19. Jillian says:

    “I Haven’t”

    I hate realizing I made a grammatical error as the comment is loading and I am powerless to stop it!

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  20. Sarah says:

    That’s probably for the best, ’cause then the woman, if she accepts the proposition, has to gut, skin and prepare the rabbits for the man–she gets the short end of the stick in my opinion!

    Boy, we digress *hee hee*

    And I totally understand about the grammar thing–frustrating!

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  21. Jillian says:

    Screw that. Bunnies are pets. Not food. Cows on the other hand…;)

    Digression is a fun and necessary part of life. At least in this post, I think.

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  22. Sarah says:

    I hear you–and what is it with men giving gifts that require more work to receive than it cost them to give? Always cleaning up after them, we are… *sigh*

    Now if a man presents a cow killed, cleaned, and butchered, then we’re talking serious business! Then we know he’s serious! :)

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  23. Jillian says:

    Well, quite frankly, it needs to be on a grill with a nice red wine as well.

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  24. Sarah says:

    some form of chocolate and we’re all set (taking notes Mike?)

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  25. Jillian says:

    Chocolate covered strawberries are good so we can pretend we’re eating “healthy.” 😀

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  26. roadtripmama says:

    Okay, enough with the dead bunnies! Jillian, I agree, bunnies are pets. I have 2 that are 18 pounds each (not a typo!). If a man really really wants to give you a gift, Tiffany is the place. Just love those little blue boxes!

    Mike, how about some thoughts on what you think of during the marathon??? Unless it’s weird sexual fantasies about girls who wish to be raped. That whole story gave me the heebie jeebies.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      What is wrong with you people!?? of course bunnies are food!
      Except RTM’s
      She has like… 30 lb monster rabbits!!

      What did I think of during the marathon?? Strangely… very little. (the girls butt in front of me?) Was playing an audio book while running but don’t remember a word of it. I think I was completely in the zone. Smiling like a bobble head and occasionally thinking. “oh god… it is only mile ___ ?” then suddenly I started running next to a really cute 22 year old Korean girl. I swear I draw these girls like flies to poop… She runs me in the last three miles at a break neck half sprint. Didn’t know if I was in love or wanted to see her hit the deck screaming in pain with a cramp. I think maybe the former. Evil woman…

  27. Jillian says:

    RTM! I’ve missed you! And I can be persuaded with Tiffany.

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  28. roadtripmama says:

    I seemed to notice you have a tendency toward Asian women….curious about that. One of my best friends (freshly divorced) travels quite a bit and has this “thing” for Asian women as well.

    Jillian – had a few “road trips” but always follow the conversations. Thanks for missing me!!!! I did agree with all your points on this one tho….very thought out. You always see things from a different perspective that has such insight and wisdom.

    And they aren’t 30 lbs….just slightly less, each.

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  29. Jillian says:

    RTM– Aw, thanks!

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  30. Maerie says:

    As a person who has rape fantasies i am no more “crazy” or “pyscho” then your so called “rape me girl”. I highly educated have a family and successful career and im not even 30. Everyone i know who has a rape fantasy ( Men AND Women) have them for different reasons, but none of them are crazy. I get how some people are sensitive about the subject and i get that, but for you to talk so badly about this girl without knowing the slightest bit of ANYTHING about the fantasy is ignorant and wrong. I seriously think you changed the ending of your story. What really happened was you agreed to “rape her” but during she turned out to be a dominatrix and had you bent over crying for mommy. Maybe im wrong but who knows what happened i wasnt there and shes not here to defend herself so ill keep that version in my mind to be more entertaining. Take Care. :)

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  31. Gracie says:

    You’re looking at it from the wrong perspective, this fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I have never been raped or molested or suffered any sexual trauma at all, yet a rape fantasy is a common one for me. All it really is for me is the ability to prove complete trust for your partner and completely submit yourself to their will. And when these fantasy’s are acted out, a safe word is easily created in case it goes to far, which it rarely will if you lay out what you expect before hand. I’m not deranged or a freak of any kind. I’m going to med school, have a great boyfriend who’s loved me for three years and knows all my fantasies, and am at the top of my class of students. You can’t judge one person by what they fantasize about it, that my friend, makes you in the wrong.

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  32. Mariana says:

    Just exploring the web and stumbled upon this…I must say it appalls me the way you label this girl. Saying she has an illness or is wrong in the head is just like saying homosexuality or heterosexuality is an illness. Fantasies are fantasies, and there’s really nothing we can changed about that. So she’s into things that scare some people, that doesn’t mean she’s terrible. What if she was somewhere out there and saw the way you label her? Don’t you think that she would be painfully upset about such treatment? I understand the reason you didn’t go along with it, as I never would either, but she’s just a woman trying to live out her sexual fantasies. To be perfectly honest, if a man i was dating had posted such harsh things about another girl, regardless of the situation leading up to them, i’d leave him in a heartbeat. It’s not our place to judge in this world.

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