Stalking her favorite food
Demi Moore married actor Ashton Kucher when she was 42 and he was 27. Madonna, now 50-years-old is dating Brazilian model Jesus Luz, only 22.
Bethan, lives in southern England on the same street as her best friend Allie. They are on their first holiday to Kenya, a country they say is “Just full of big young boys who like us older girls.”
Flashing a dazzling smile and built like an Olympic basketball star, the 22-year-old said he has slept with more than 100 white women, most of them 30 years his senior. – Reuters
“They work out like I do. Guys my age are fat and gross. I want the total package. I deserve the total package. I want hot and funny.”
This is what society handed me,” said Spuehler, chatting on a recent Thursday night. “I thought when I was in my 20s, I would find somebody and have a beautiful life with him and have children.” Exit the husband. Enter the fawning young men. – Denver Post (read more…)
Screw you, I don't care if he is using me
God… This fucking question again. This is a Girls Ask Guys reader which is an obnoxious website where young people scream at each other. Kinda like this girl does to me after I give her an answer. Sorry I didn’t edit her mail down. Scan it if you want. I am busy marketing a book so I don’t really have the time to make this post perfect but regardless it was an interesting email interaction.
I met a guy 7 months ago in a new job, we were both starting out as contractors with a group of people and we ended up sitting together during training. We became friends and eventually we began to like each other, thing is he has a live-in girlfriend, so we both backed off. Our friendship grew along with out liking of each other until I asked him to choose one or the other. He said he didn’t know, he liked us both and was confused. Few months passed and our connection grew more and more, he asked me if I was capable of moving in with him or marrying him (which is what we both wanted at this point in life), at the moment I didn’t believe in living together before marriage (call me old-fashioned). He was throwing questions around, measuring me I guess. For you to better understand this maybe you might need to know a bit about him, he’s 27 yrs old, his gf is 30, (I’m 23) they’ve been together for a yr and half or so (he doesn’t really know) and they moved in together quite quickly. He’s proud, he’s stubborn, he’s brutally honest with me and he makes rash decisions. He used to be a player but decided he didn’t want that anymore and settled with this girl, he had no intentions of cheating at any point and honestly thought he was going to marry her at some point, in fact when we first met he told me he was asking a friend of his to design an engagement ring. (read more…)
AKA dick nose
How to spot a small penis
“Jesus!? How should I know!?” I said with a squeak on the word Jesus. I have been bombarded with about every dating question you can imagine but this one had me at a loss. What threw me even more was the fact that she was SO determined to glean the answer. “You aren’t bi, seriously?” there was silence on the phone while my face contorted into something similar to porky pig about to sneeze.
What the hell?
Recently I was reading an interesting article on Datedaily by a Ashley Levine titled Penis size matters The author demands a certain sized penis, and she goes as far to not date/sleep with men that are not endowed to her requirements. Since she doesn’t like to waste time she will out right ask a man his dimensions. This made me laugh and think of my friend Dating Diva at Tales from an Internet Dater (read more…)
Like to borrow a pen?
“Hello? Are you there? What? did I say something to offend you?” I was talking at the same time a little confused why she couldn’t hear me. I looked down at my iPhone and realized I hit the mute button with the side of my face.
Me: “I wasn’t too stoked about your ex husband calling me.”
Her: “I am so sorry about that, he must have searched my phone”
Her 10 mins later: “Hello are you there? are you mad at me?”
Her another 10 minutes later: “I don’t understand why you are so upset, it isn’t like it is my fault!”
I wasn’t able to respond since I was at dinner with a friend.
Face to face:
“I really can’t take under 1,100 for it” I opened the computer noticing that it was it had been used and wasn’t as new as he had claimed, I looked back up at him. “My cousin used it once, otherwise it’s new.” I sat at his table silent but with my eyebrows raised. The silence went on a couple seconds too long, “I suppose I could go down a hundred, if you have cash.” I still didn’t say anything and 10 seconds passed, “8?” I said. He looked a little pained, “950?” “9…” He sighed, “okay.” I had talked him down $200 with only two words.
Silence is one of the most powerful tools of communication there is. Silence challenges the other person to be comfortable in their own skin, to not fill in the void with their own self-doubt. This challenge tells you if they have the emotional intelligence to assume the best about themselves. A badge of confidence that we want in a partner. (read more…)
But I thought chicks digged muscle?
“What the fuck does she have that I don’t?” Like a petulant child she thrust out her ridiculously large breasts and put her hands on her narrow hips. “Are you serious, you want to give up on this??” She motioned with a Vanna White hand towards a body that would capture the eyes of women as strongly as men. Neggy was unbelievably sexy but I would have preferred to force a large grapefruit up my butt than sleep with her again.
“Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man that’s tired of fucking her.”
I stopped sleeping with knockout Neggy because I met someone that actually stimulated all of me and not just my testicles. Neggy was one of these people that was so attractive that she could rely 100% on the physical, and thus never developed her mental attraction. It disturbed me vastly that I was as drawn to her as a dog would be to sniff another’s butt. I internally shook my head, I had to get control over my nuts. (read more…)
I don't care if he is married!
Its 5 in the morning and my friend Lynn knocks on the door hesitantly. If it weren’t for a mild level of insomnia I never would have heard it. Lynn is training for a sprint triathlon and I am coaching her.
I feel like I am running through butter since I “sprinted” the same 3-mile course the night before, I feel blah… We are talking between panting and I nearly stumble over a dead cat. Lynn ignores it, and brings up one of my pet peeves, girls that date married men. Fuck… I kinda feel like that cat.
Lynn says between strides, “Every morning it is the same, I wake up and there is a one page email about Lacy’s (her friend) feelings and this guy.” “Oh GAWDDD…” I say as melodramatically as Davis Sardaris (or Nando). My eyes roll up to the top of my skull and my lids flutter in irritation.
Lacy is involved with a guy that is involved with someone else and Lacy is about to get her heart broken, crushed, shredded and ground into pastrami. I told her months ago not to get involved with this guy but her vagina argued me down. (read more…)
Wait, I don't understand am I going to get laid or not?
The wonderfully full of shit things women say with my possibly correct interpretations. (don’t hurt me)
Pre/post sex bullshit
I love these type of lines, they are so deliciously transparent.
I am NOT going to sleep with you – Usually this comes out of the ether, slapping men with transferred guilt. What?? Weren’t we just talking about baby seals and the Taco bell dog? WhereTF did that come from? Translation – I just decided that I want to sleep with you and like that quart of ice cream I ate last week, I don’t think it is a very good idea. So, I am speaking to myself and including you in my conspiracy.
Do you have a condom? You do? That’s kinda creepy – Hey wait! Creepy would be already having it on. Trust me, it didn’t get lodged in my wallet because I thought I was going to sleep with you! (Wait, that might be some of MY bullshit now) (read more…)
with her it was just sex, but I LOVE you!
1. Stupid speak
A statement from a man or a woman that has dual meanings. Often the meaning is veiled from the speaker as well as the listener.
2. Stupid speak
The majority of things that come out of Mike’s mouth, with full knowledge of both meanings.
I love stupid speak, simply because I get to translate and unravel what the user really intended OR I get to throw down some really confusing prose, to harass confuse and befuddle my target. (read more…)
sparring for power
Mood for love – when the game is invalidated
I hadn’t seen her in over a year and the last time I did, it was a battle. It had always been that way with us. “I just came back from a date with another gorgeous model, my god! Have you ever seen veins in someone’s abs?!” I would respond something like, “I did on a cadaver, he was totally ripped after I scraped all his fat off. So, how was this one in bed? Could he pleasure the black hole of your need?” This would be delivered totally dead pan, she would look at me with disgust and a tinge of frustration.
I hadn’t heard from her in months when I said yes to her invitation. When I walked up I gave her a huge hug and a kiss that migrated to the lips, “So good to see you, thanks for remaining my friend for so long.” I didn’t come to fight and I felt her relax. To my surprise the person waiting for me was quite a bit different then I expected to meet. She was no longer on her man hunt and she no longer cared about proving her value to me. We had both left our armor and weapons in the car and without them there was no struggle. I have not experienced that much pleasure in holding someones hand in a very long time and it was a shame that it didn’t happen sooner. (read more…)
No idea what this has to do with my post
I don’t really like Japanese style hostess clubs but I thought, “What the hell…” when my buddy Masaru asked me to go.
We went to little Tokyo in Saigon, and down one the alleys a fascinating scene unfolded. Small trees were in the center of a square with twenty or so traditional Japanese buildings oddly adorned with shining and flashing neon.
“Irasharimasen!” The mob of beautiful Vietnamese girls yelled at us in bad Japanese. In a fervor, that only money can create, they ushered us into a small room geared towards drinking, smoking and karaokeing our brains out.
“Who would you like?” I felt horribly shy looking at the faces of the ten girls, laughing and waiting for us to choose. This is why I wasn’t a fan of hostess clubs, buying attention, although harmless, didn’t sit well with me, but too late to back out now. My friends made their choice and then prompted me, when I sheepishly looked at the girls one was beaming at me, I smiled back and said, “Would you like to sit with me?” She giggled again and sat down. (read more…)
I feel sick without her
Sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to NYC, a message pops up in my Facebook. It is a happy birthday message from my ex-girlfriend. My heart feels like someone has taken it in their fist; blood squirts out of it and sours my stomach. I click over to her Facebook wall, and I see a message from a mutual friend speaking of her boyfriend. I am not surprised. I look left to see her status in FB is still single, does he respect her enough to make it official? Is he just using her? but worse yet what if he does love her?? Images flash of a woman that was mine, post coital, telling him, rather than me, “I love you…”
Now I really want to puke somewhere
Wanting to roll around in this negative emotion like a pig in it’s own feces, I click over to her photo page to divine the bastard. There are a few candidates, I hate them all. I mean, I really really hate them, it pleases me greatly as I fantasize over a rather messy car accidents. Unfortunately, I still feel like vomiting in my carry-on, is it possible to do this discreetly? (read more…)
Like a Rock
This was ridiculous, when I stood up I wished I hadn’t lived in sweaty Thailand for a month and thus forsaken underwear.
We were all sitting around a large table on the floor; all of us had small pillows to make the tatami mat a little more comfortable. I opened the sliding door a bit because the electric carpet was transferring way too much heat through my very thin surf shorts, causing a bit of a swamp-ass to develop in my nether regions.
Junji, the owner of the apartment was a conniving dirty old man that managed to keep the company of half the foreigners in our city. Junji became a hub to so many of us because he was generous with alcohol, fun times and I found out later cocaine.
So… it was a bit of a seedy place to be but I was new to the area, and a free drink among new friends sounded great. (read more…)
Soon to be extinct
“As a woman about to enter her Cougar-dome, I feel it is an enticing destination! I am fit, beginning some of the most powerful and productive years in my career and the pressures of dating are gone. I don’t want more kids, I have money and I don’t want some fat 40 year old man who has given up on experiencing life. (That being said, I would take an active 40 year old man with some pep!) I also don’t have a lot of time to devote to the work of a relationship but still like having an active sex life.
Would I take a 25 year old lover? Um…yeah. Would I go out to the bar with him and his friends?…No. Would I bring him to a work event? Probably not. Would he meet the fam? No. Would I fuck the shit out of him, make him breakfast and never call him again? That could be a possibility…”
– Cara – Comment from last post Cougar, cutting her claws on the back of change (read more…)
Why don't I like him?
Hi Mike, I am so frustrated!!!
I have been seeing this one guy on and off for about a year. I’ve had this ridiculous crush on him and although he does things that irk me to no end, things that I wouldn’t put up with for anyone else! He cancel dates, show up late, and tells stupid white lies! Grrr… Recently, I met this really nice guy. We have been seeing each other about once a week. When I first saw him I was like,“eh, I’ll make the best of the night,”but we have a great time when we hang out. He is responsible, sweet, fun, witty. I like him, but I’m not passionate about him, like I am with douche #1. So, I’m digging into my psyche trying to figure out what is wrong with me? Why do I insist an pursuing #1, why do I struggle letting him go? And now that #2 is here and I can’t see a single thing wrong with him, why don’t I like him!? Why is there no passion? (read more…)
Online love, does it blow?
Got a question recently, “I met this guy online and I really really like him, we have an amazing connection and I want to know how to bring the attraction to another level, P.S. We have never met“
This question made me snort hot coffee out of my nose and while packing my sinuses with vasiline, I realized this would be an interestting topic to ask my fellow dating experts!
Do you think “Online” relationships have as much validity as “Real” ones?
Here are their answers in the order I received them
The uber cool Nando of Nandoism says: (read more…)
The tight rope of the inappropriate
“I don’t know how many times I’ve sat around with female friends and discussed men who are MUCH too gentle in bed. Seriously… throw me around. Make me wonder where that bruise came from the next day. Don’t stop until we break your bed, or couch or maybe even a bookcase.
Let’s straddle that fine line between danger and safety… together.” – MissAlpha From Adventures of an Alpha Female In reaction to Jack in Brooklyn’s blog post World Peace Part 3
YES!!! This is one of the uses of sexual tension that is the most arousing and most powerful! However, it is dangerous territory but walking that fine line is one of the sexiest domains we will ever experience. My eyes were opened to this with a very arousing but disturbing encounter in college, she was only 19 and I 20. (read more…)
« Previous Page — Next Page »