IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, HE WOULD BE WITH YOU

God… This fucking question again. This is a Girls Ask Guys reader which is an obnoxious website where young people scream at each other. Kinda like this girl does to me after I give her an answer. Sorry I didn’t edit her mail down. Scan it if you want. I am busy marketing a book [...]

Read the full article →

Big noses, long hoses – how to spot a keeper

How to spot a small penis
“Jesus!? How should I know!?”  I said with a squeak on the word Jesus. I have been bombarded with about every dating question you can imagine but this one had me at a loss. What threw me even more was the fact that she was SO determined to glean [...]

Read the full article →

The White Space, the power of silence

Phone:
“Hello? Are you there? What? did I say something to offend you?” I was talking at the same time a little confused why she couldn’t hear me. I looked down at my iPhone and realized I hit the mute button with the side of my face.
Texting:
Me: “I wasn’t too stoked about your ex husband [...]

Read the full article →

Beautiful women and the men tired of f*cking them

“What the fuck does she have that I don’t?” Like a petulant child she thrust out her ridiculously large breasts and put her hands on her narrow hips. “Are you serious, you want to give up on this??” She motioned with a Vanna White hand towards a body that would capture the eyes of women [...]

Read the full article →

Stop dating married men, damn it!

Its 5 in the morning and my friend Lynn knocks on the door hesitantly. If it weren’t for a mild level of insomnia I never would have heard it. Lynn is training for a sprint triathlon and I am coaching her.
I feel like I am running through butter since I “sprinted” the same 3-mile course [...]

Read the full article →

25 wonderfully, full of sh*t things women say

The wonderfully full of shit things women say with my possibly correct interpretations. (don’t hurt me)
Pre/post sex bullshit
I love these type of lines, they are so deliciously transparent.
I am NOT going to sleep with you – Usually this comes out of the ether, slapping men with transferred guilt. What?? Weren’t we just talking about [...]

Read the full article →

20 gloriously stupid things guys say to women

1. Stupid speak
A statement from a man or a woman that has dual meanings. Often the meaning is veiled from the speaker as well as the listener.

2. Stupid speak
The majority of things that come out of Mike’s mouth, with full knowledge of both meanings.
I love stupid speak, simply because I get to translate and [...]

Read the full article →

The effortless connection, when the game is invalidated

Mood for love – when the game is invalidated
I hadn’t seen her in over a year and the last time I did, it was a battle. It had always been that way with us. “I just came back from a date with another gorgeous model, my god! Have you ever seen veins in someone’s [...]

Read the full article →

A brush with death – My dangerous date

I don’t really like Japanese style hostess clubs but I thought, “What the hell…” when my buddy Masaru asked me to go.
We went to little Tokyo in Saigon, and down one the alleys a fascinating scene unfolded. Small trees were in the center of a square with twenty or so traditional Japanese buildings oddly adorned [...]

Read the full article →

I hate her for loving someone else

Sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to NYC, a message pops up in my Facebook. It is a happy birthday message from my ex-girlfriend. My heart feels like someone has taken it in their fist; blood squirts out of it and sours my stomach. I click over to her Facebook wall, and I [...]

Read the full article →

My friends drugged me – Funny story Friday on a Thursday

This was ridiculous, when I stood up I wished I hadn’t lived in sweaty Thailand for a month and thus forsaken underwear.
We were all sitting around a large table on the floor; all of us had small pillows to make the tatami mat a little more comfortable. I opened the sliding door a bit because [...]

Read the full article →

Cultural whores, the fat man and the bimbo

“As a woman about to enter her Cougar-dome,  I feel it is an enticing destination! I am fit, beginning some of the most powerful and productive years in my career and the pressures of dating are gone. I don’t want more kids, I have money and I don’t want some fat 40 year old man [...]

Read the full article →

“Mr Right” bores the SH*T out of me – What’s my problem?

Hi Mike, I am so frustrated!!!
I have been seeing this one guy on and off for about a year. I’ve had this ridiculous crush on him and although he does things that irk me to no end, things that I wouldn’t put up with for anyone else! He cancel dates, show up late, and [...]

Read the full article →

Online love, can it work? 5 dating expert’s opinions

Got a question recently, “I met this guy online and I really really like him, we have an amazing connection and I want to know how to bring the attraction to another level, P.S. We have never met“
This question made me snort hot coffee out of my nose and while packing my sinuses with vasiline, [...]

Read the full article →

Walking the tightrope of sexual indecency

“I don’t know how many times I’ve sat around with female friends and discussed men who are MUCH too gentle in bed. Seriously… throw me around. Make me wonder where that bruise came from the next day. Don’t stop until we break your bed, or couch or maybe even a bookcase.
Let’s straddle that fine line [...]

Read the full article →

Positive Sexual Tension – Can you create it? – Part three

We talked all night, it was 6 in the morning when we finally forced ourselves to bed. She was staying with us for a couple of days because her apartment was being refinished. I didn’t even know her, I think my roommate had a thing for her. Oops… good thing he was out of town.
It [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →

UA-7387907-1 </