Online love, can it work? 5 dating expert’s opinions

34 Responses to “Online love, can it work? 5 dating expert’s opinions”

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  1. Mike Masters says:

    Little side note,
    I meant the post to be only on, if you have not met that person in real life but I liked the responses on LDRs just as much. I felt that they were just as valid since relationships really need that personal connection.

    I think relationships are hard enough without distance and LDRs are nuts but I have had my fair share of them as well, one of which worked out.

    As for the never meeting in person and creating a relationship? Horse manure, never gonna work out.

  2. Lucky Girl says:

    There must be something in the water, because I wrote a post about this just this past Saturday! It’s interesting to see what others have to say about it.

    I’m with Diva in that a solely “online relationship” is about as complete as marrying your pillow or your gaming avatar. And my rule has long been with Nando and Fishy – we’re online looking for real-life partners. So if there is someone who piques your interest, meet! In person. And I think this applies to both Local and Long Distance relationships because NOTHING is a substitute for personal interaction.

    But as Diva says, it is VERY easy to get caught up in digital interaction, because as my post from Saturday explores, until you meet, they exist in our minds as the IDEA of a person, and that can be an incredibly powerful thing. In a bad way.

    I enjoyed this post. Thanks, Mike!
    .-= Lucky Girl´s last blog ..Letting Go Of The Perfect Idea =-.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      funny, it must be in the air, Nando called me on the phone one day and we started talking about it. How people weave these ridiculous fantasies that are bound to be crushed the instant they meet that person.

      When I got the above email I realized I had to write about it. Since I am a total cynic about such things I wanted other opinions because like DD some people don’t have a choice.

      Glad you liked it and I forgot to put you on my blogroll, let me do that now…

  3. Fishy says:

    Hey, this looks great Mike – and nice to see Diva on here. Love Nando’s answer.
    .-= Fishy´s last blog ..The Midget and the Dancefloor Stiffy =-.

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  4. Mike Masters says:

    Cool, thanks for coming by and the RT
    Nando’s answer was great and It was nice to lead with him. Really liked yours as well, very clear it was a real story. (was her name Sandy? you might have gone out with my mom)

  5. nandoism says:

    awesome post! thanks for letting me play!
    .-= nandoism´s last blog ..The Right Time to Say I Love You =-.

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  6. Rapunzel says:

    Some guy ‘bounced’ past me the other day. You know what I mean? He had that terrible way of walking where you bob up and down. Plus his trousers were hovering above his ankles. All I could think about was imagine if I’d met him online. He could be the funniest, loveliest guy ever but that would put me right off!!

    Fickle moi?!

    Personally I think if you do meet someone and they are everything you’ve imagined/worked out, it’s just a great coincidence!

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    • Mike Masters says:

      It is true, the last person I met online had such bad breath that my eyes started watering and my nose hair curled. I think she should have put that on her profile.

  7. hey there, liking your blog, just found it via twitter. my weigh in is simple. the problem with online dating profiles is that they encourage “resume” style dating. you know, like the person looks tall enough, went to a good enough school, “likes dogs” and vacationing (i mean who doesn’t like 80% of the things listed on dating profiles???) the initial connection is based on “on paper” compatibility. my advice for people is always to meet sooner than later so they can ensure that the emotional chemistry is there too.
    .-= adrianna giuliani´s last blog ..The Porn Ultimatum: What is Normal When It Comes to Your BFs Internet Porn Habit? =-.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Thank you! hope you stick around,
      Good point about the resume, you just don’t know until you meet them. Not to mention, there probably are a huge number of undetectable, unmeasurable cues that increase/destroy attraction. How can one really know from a profile? skype? the phone?

  8. Miss Alpha says:

    Online dating, like most things in life, is only as good as your intentions. If you want to play email tennis and daydream over someone you’ve made up, that’s all you’re going to get out of it. If you want to jump in with both feet and connect, you will.

    Good post.
    .-= Miss Alpha´s last blog ..Godzilla versus Mothra (A Love Story) =-.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Amen,
      I hope all these comments sink in for someone, I am tired of answering this question. Happy that I can send these people to a post with a pretty solid. “YOU ARE HIGH” with online relationships.
      Thanks for the 2 cents Miss Alpha

  9. Really, I must be on something when I write some of the things I write… *sigh.

    Awesome post, Mike. I really loved everyone’s input.

    Miss Alpha makes a good point, one that I’ve been guilty of falling into. I’ve been in LDRs with women and I work up this relationship in my head… I think five moves ahead of the game and yet never met the woman in question. Fail. Buy failure leads to success if you recognize your missteps.

    Great post. =)

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  10. gail says:

    great post! lately I fantasize about my world sans all computer and iphone distraction… can hardly bring that into focus

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  11. Man-shopper says:

    Great post, guys!

    Fishy – I don’t know why, but now you’ve got me thinking what it’d be like to go on a date with convict, a guy into incest, and geriatric. Hmmm… new side project?

    Zoe – I love how your candid posts so often make me remember some of the more beautiful moments in my past relationships!

    Alex and Dating Diva – AMEN… especially the bits about clubbing baby seals and missing teeth…

    Mike – excellent point about building expectations in your head. As a foreigner in a strange land, I have to set up in-person dates ASAP before expectations begin to form. I guess that I rely very heavily on visual cues and physical chemistry to make up for whatever deficiencies I have in the language department — deficiencies that are much easier to pass off as cute when I have the guy in front of me :)
    .-= Man-shopper´s last blog ..Mr. Crazy =-.

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    • Mike Masters says:

      This was the secret to my Japanese fluency, met a great girl that couldn’t speak English.

      Hope you find the same. Nothing like being fluent in another language in a place that you love.

      So we will have to meet pretty soon. My fantasies of you are getting a little out of control

      • radiantjoy says:

        I knew it. LOL.

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      • Man-shopper says:

        Ah yes, you’re right. I’ve always been told that the best way to learn french is on the pillow. (I’m really not sure if I got that expression right… My English has gone downhill recently.)

        Come to Paris! But as many have said in this post, fantasies never live up to reality! :)
        .-= Man-shopper´s last blog ..Ms. One Night Stand =-.

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        • Mike Masters says:

          Isn’t it funny how that happens? When i came back I kept wording things the way i would say it in japanese, it was so odd…

          It is a good thing I have zero expectations for any place I travel to. Otherwise I would be miserable in Michigan. Wait… I think I might be?

          I want to have pillow talk with you! hmm… what could I teach you?

  12. gail says:

    haha… not very articulate for a writer, huh? What I meant was before the whole online world… dating was more gradual and mysterious. You didn’t know so much about a person before you met them so part of falling for them was a gradual unveiling of their loves and interests and quirks. So I guess I was saying that while I am totally hooked on e-mail and texting and facebook, part of me thinks the spending more time talking on the phone and writing hand-written letters and not knowing so much about a person before you really know them might be nice…

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    • Mike Masters says:

      wow… I remember those days! 😉
      (minus the hand written letters)

      • gail says:

        you should try the snail mail thing… very exciting to receive a love letter that way… I also think writing by hand is much more sensual and therefore taps into more of your senses. I often write first drafts of whatever I’m working on by hand in a journal. Thanks for your blog! I love it! gkb

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        • Mike Masters says:

          You are right, I probably should. I have never really excelled at the whole romantic part of relationships. Always felt like I had two left feet.
          Well, I will send that letter off to you right away!

  13. gail says:

    I think the forced act of slowing down, waiting, mystery… can increase both sensuality and seductiveness and the tension you write about…

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  14. gail says:

    weeks… I’m laughing hard… you were joking, right?

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    • Mike Masters says:

      Me? joke? Does the pope shit in the woods?

      Actually nope, I wish I were responsible for that laugh, I meant a good 100 years ago. When love was so much more “romantic” (vomits in mouth)

  15. Denns says:

    Its nice to see real people sharing their experiences online. Honestly its blogs like these that have helped me reach were I am today. Thanks for sharing this with us

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  16. Sally says:

    Ugh i met a guy online he turned out to be hearing impaired which i was okay with but then he wouldnt take down his profile until i sat by and watch him delete after being his gf for 2 months then he told me he had a baby with some random chick that he doesnt talk to anymore and thennnnnnnn he never lets me his cell phone. wth did i get myself into!?

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