Do guys ask out the “girl next door” more than you?

This is a question I got from a reader on my last post, How to ask a guy out – what you don’t understand… I also asked her to answer the question herself which she did so well I might not have an answer for her!

Princes T over at “The Journey” asks: What do you think?

As the old saying goes: ‘the prettiest girls don’t get asked out to the prom’. I’m beginning to feel that there is some truth to this statement.

With this idea that girls should not ask guys out, it makes me wonder then what is it that makes a guy actually go up to a girl and ask her out? And is it true that the sort of average pretty girls get asked out a lot more than their stunningly hot counter-parts?

As a girl who is considered very attractive by most, I’ve been asking myself this question every since I vowed, a few months ago, to stop asking guys out. I no longer initiate conversations, offer my number unless asked, suggest it my be fun to get together, call/text/email/morse code/smoke signal/carrier pigeon a man unless it is in response to his contact etc.

I thought it would be a seamless transition whereby I could simply sit back, look gorgeous, and let the men flock to me. Apparently I was wrong, and it seems that I am either:

1. a lot less attractive than I thought (doubtful, people always tell me how beautiful I am, even strangers, and anyway I’ve seen far uglier girls getting asked out all the time so I can’t possibly be somehow hideous and operating under the delusion that I’m attractive…); or,
2. somehow unapproachable.

So, is it possible to be too hot? And is there more to getting asked out than just good looks (you mean, men aren’t actually 100% shallow?! This is shocking and upsetting news to me…)?

I have a couple of theories (and please correct me if I’m wrong):

There is a theory that shows people tend to choose a mate who is of a similar level of attractiveness (wrote about that here under “how to meet a rich guy“) and even of a similar look, as they are. And that there is even a correlation between the strength of the relationship and the similarities in looks. If you buy into this theory, then, while most guys might admire a very beautiful woman (the way they might admire that Ferrari), they don’t often pursue her because they instinctively don’t feel well matched for her (and hence they go to the Toyota dealership and buy a Camry instead). Using the car theory, the Ferrari dealership makes far fewer sales than the Toyota dealership because very few people can afford a Ferrari. So what do you do? You certainly can’t put the Ferrari on sale because then nobody would admire or appreciate it. So you’re left waiting for one of the few very special customers who can afford the Ferrari…

Excellent point and really good analogy Princes T! There is a lot of truth to this, guys often are more comfortable masturbating to pictures of Ferraris rather than ever thinking they could own one. It really doesn’t matter how much the Ferrari wants to be driven (or how hard and fast! hehehe) if the guy thinks he isn’t capable of owning one he will only look and not touch. – Mike

Another theory is that really hot girls are unapproachable because most guys have already decided that they have no chance. I’ve been told the male ego is very fragile and can only take so much rejection, so if a guy has been rejected by a few hot girls in the past, he may try to set the bar slightly lower. Guys are often not just attracted to the way a girl looks, but also (and sometimes even more importantly) to the way a girl makes them feel about themselves. Naturally, a girl who is likely to reject them will not make them feel so great about themselves.

Everyone’s ego is fragile! but since the guy is the one having to do the asking he has more to lose. The guy also instinctily knows that the prettier girls are also going to be hard to hang on to. Sometimes shooting low is very attractive! – Mike

Finally, I think hot girls have been given a very bad rep. In most tv/movie dramas, the hottest girl is always the bitch. She’s used to getting what she wants, when she wants, and isn’t afraid to walk all over people in the process. She talks about other girls behind their backs and steals their boyfriends. Let’s face it: we don’t actually like hot girls! We’re constantly told that being attractive = having power. Attractive people (and girls especially, or so the stereotype goes) get away with more, they get better jobs and more money, they get the best tables at the restaurants, and get better service at stores. So when a mere mortal of a man walks by, he’s terrified, not only of rejection, but of not being rejected, because deep down he knows that he’d have zero power in this relationship. No matter how easy going, good natured, sweet, loyal or down to earth the girl actually might be, if she’s hot, it’s assumed she must be high maintenance (remember, society tells us that she’s used to getting everything she wants) – she’ll be the type of girl who expects expensive restaurants ALL the time, and would probably sneer at the idea of going to the cricket (or baseball for my American friends out there) and grabbing a meat pie (or hot dog) and beer (or well… that’s universal!). She’ll also need a constant stream of gifts and flowers to keep her happy. And most men don’t want that. They prefer to sort of cute sweet girl, who is easy going, and free from the “entitlement issues” of the beautiful ruling class.

Unfortunately, I think that the bad rep is often deserved. The prettier girl often has a much thicker “Bitch Shield” for a reason! I could go on and on and on about this but I will save it for tomorrow.

Thanks for your input Princes T!

BTW… I took the above picture in a gay caberet club in Thailand, while a tranny insisted on sitting on my lap, she was a very attractive tranny btw, do you think she got asked out often?

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Tagged as: Average girl, Average guy, Dating advice, Girl next door, guest post, Too sexy