My friends drugged me – Funny story Friday on a Thursday

This was ridiculous, when I stood up I wished I hadn’t lived in sweaty Thailand for a month and thus forsaken underwear.

We were all sitting around a large table on the floor; all of us had small pillows to make the tatami mat a little more comfortable. I opened the sliding door a bit because the electric carpet was transferring way too much heat through my very thin surf shorts, causing a bit of a swamp-ass to develop in my nether regions.

Junji, the owner of the apartment was a conniving dirty old man that managed to keep the company of half the foreigners in our city. Junji became a hub to so many of us because he was generous with alcohol, fun times and I found out later cocaine.

So… it was a bit of a seedy place to be but I was new to the area, and a free drink among new friends sounded great.

A little aside… You know how women with fake breasts tend to show them to everyone? I have a theory about that, after surgery the women suddenly posses something attached to their bodies that are slightly alien. So dropping their tops really isn’t that big a deal because, “They aren’t really me anyway.” (and as much as I want them, no I didn’t get fake boobs in this story)

I didn’t really understand why everyone was glancing at me or giggling in my general direction. I brushed at my face wondering if there was a little leftover food or (god I hope not) something involving a nostril. Thankfully, I found nothing, I picked up my drink again and noticed a few people watching me do it. I downed the last sips of my vodka tonic, looking over my glass watching everyone watch me. “What?” I said, a couple of girls looked away holding their breath, in an effort not to spray the air with laughter.

Someone handed me another drink and we sat and talked for a while more. I looked back to the patio and frowned, “damn pigeons,” I thought. Three males had cornered a female and all were attempting to jump on her back. She sqeezed through the bars and escaped the males who all stood looking dumbly at one another, as if to silently ask if anyone were bi. I moved to shoo the birds off the patio and something poked at my shorts.

I looked down, and everyone followed my gaze. I felt like the person with the “kick me” sign taped to their back, finally removing it.  The conversation stopped, and the repressed giggling burst out from one slightly round Japanese girl. She looked at me with a cheshire grin and a bright red drunken face and said, “What’s wrong Mike?”

“What the HELL?” I said, as I looked down, and I stood up quickly in my surprise. The flood gates slammed open and the whole room broke out into hysterical laughter.

Poking out sideways from my body was an appendage that didn’t seem to belong to me and I understood very clearly why I have seen so many fake breasts. Straining against my surfer shorts like the main pole of a leaning circus tent was my ridiculously erect penis.

Since this was the first time in my life that I have ever had an erection without being aroused, I stood with fascination while everyone laughed to tears.

I think that because it felt so alien too me I wasn’t shy and I even jumped around a bit to amuse everyone. I don’t think I did the cowboy dance, but it is entirely possible since tequila was involved.

Then I promptly forgot about it and haven’t repeated the story until just now… Hope you feel privileged.

Today is my birthday, and you are all invited to my house for drinks tonight!

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