Part 4 of boys and sales
So I have a friend of mine that loves to disclose to guys her physical issues.
Yeah, I have strange shaped boobs (I see cross eyed boobs that bounce around like loose car headlights)
You will never see me without make up (craters like the surface of the moon under that? Holes filled in with spackle?)
I have these awful stretch marks on my butt (I picture bright red whip lines, and zipper like scars)
My cellulite is so bad you will never see me in a swimsuit (I imagine a bag of cottage cheese leaking at the seams)
Now as if this isn’t bad enough, she took it to another level, whenever we would drink she would belch so loud she would set off car alarms. She would spit incessantly and sometimes do one of those old man mucus retrieving nose growls and hauk a loogie against a wall. When she ate I would hear about intestinal troubles and what dairy is going to do to her in an hour, so I better use the bathroom now. This friend was fortunately just a friend and she was staunchly going to remain that way because there is no way I would ever check to see how close my imagination was to the real thing. I mean she was cute enough but each of her descriptions made me feel as if there was a poisonous snake hiding under each garment of clothing. The external behavior was hard to handle as well, considering in the 7 years I was in Japan I have never heard a girl burp, fart or god forbid “hauk a loogie” I was like a mortified minister stuck in the red light district of Amsterdam.
• Good sales people never kiss butt for a purchase (last post!)
• Good sales people NEVER bring up the negative
Next time you look at the paper take a look at the real estate section. Not one of those ads has any bad comments to say about the property. I don’t think they are hiding anything but “a excellent fixer upper” is just that. Great for a handyman or someone in construction willing to put in the time. Now if they said “place gutted by a fire and should be condemned” they may never get any fixer-upper type people to even take a look.
Whenever you talk to another person they are busy building an internal construction of you. Whatever you say gets tacked on to the mental model they carry around in their mind. If you talk about your past cocaine addiction they nail to your mental mannequin pictures of you snorting in a toilet stall with a tattooed friend. Even something small, “I was a bit promiscuous when I was younger” adds footage of you doing the entire football team at a drunken post game party. Since your listener does not know the actual extent of your promiscuity, they fill in the gap with the most protective image for them, in other words THE WORST CASE SENERIO.
About 10 years ago I met the daughter of the man who owns Nestle Chocolate. I didn’t know anything about her before hand, all I knew was that she was going to join a group of us camping. I remember her getting out of a friends car and watching the car retrieve about 4 inches in suspension. She was to put it bluntly HUGE, 21 and about 300bls but… by the end of the trip I was captivated by her. She was the sweetest most interesting girl, she was strong, funny and insanely confident. By the end of the camping trip I thought she was the most attractive girl there. My mental model of her had pinned all over it these wonderful qualities, these attractive traits. She was truly and amazing girl and my mind radically diminished any physical flaw she might have had. What was important was not what my eyes where seeing but what my mind was perceiving. Attraction is built in the mind and it is in your best interest to build the most attractive you.
Bullets:
• If you have a house in the swamp brag about your 8 person spa
• People tend to envision the worst case scenario, just in case it might be true
• There is always a buyer as long as the property is well advertised
• Perception is the key to attraction and you are responsible for that
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Mike, I think this is the most valuable material you have posted yet! Sometimes I feel females put themselves down because they want to hear the guy say, “no, you don’t, you’re beautiful.” Average girls can become an 8 or 9 with confidence and personality. AND this is also a valuable post for men. Ladies don’t want to hear about all your flaws. If we thought you were flawed we wouldn’t be dating you in the first place! The gentleman I am currently seeing keeps telling me he is fat and is kind of self conscious about it. I keep ignoring him, but thinking to myself, “I don’t date fat people, what is he talking about?” And he has mentioned that he wants to get his teeth fixed. This is over the course of 3 dates! I like him just the way he is. I didn’t choose to date him because he had “potential”, I choose to date him because I like the current package as is. We always magnify our imperfections, usually it isn’t as bad as we see them. Don’t turn some minor cellulite into a leaky bag of cottage cheese (is that how you put it Mike?). Don’t frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile – as much as you may dislike it. Mike, but how would you respond to someone who is always putting themselves down so you can build them back up. I am experiencing this with this guy, but everyone experiences this with their friends, as well.
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Hey, another great one Mike, “Why talking bad about yourself…” with some honest and solid information and again a great image using Amy Winehouse to get the point across!
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You guys are awesome! thank you for the support. I think I am going to have to write about this topic in a little more depth.
Okay seriously. I love your blog. I can’t get enough of it! You offer some of the most AMAZING insight. I love it… I’m a follower, what can I say?
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