1. He made the first move – asking for a number or simply talking to you first, if he is a Mormon or network marketer you might want to disregard this.
2. He has asked a friend about you in the lame hopes they will tell you about it – if he does this you have my permission to torture him. Make him literally beg to take you out on a date, seriously
3. Eye contact lingers a little too long – but maybe he is just looking at your unibrow or that whitehead?
4. He has asked you out – Duh… why is it you still need clarification??
5. He sends you the random obnoxious text – “hey cutie, what’s going on?” this is not too bright, make fun of him and see if he has more personality than a squash.
6. Trying to entertain you – he tells jokes, juggles and rips his shirt off to show you how he removed the tattoo of his ex with an angle grinder.
7. Ignores other people when you are around – this one is pretty positive, if he is putting all his attention on you I would say that is a pretty strong sign or he is autistic?
8. Needs to be in proximity with you – this is very fun to test, see if you can get him to chase you around a party. Make sure you tell all of your friends what you are doing so they can laugh at him.
9. Likes to make physical contact – there are a lot of touchy people in the world, me included so make sure that it is not the only sign or you could have a very confused Clay Aiken.
10. Asks the really stupid questions – “are you ticklish??” Would someone that didn’t have a burning desire to touch you ever ever ask you this?
11. Changes his posture, thrusts out his chest to look manlier – I know this sounds silly but I swear guys do it! I am partial to the random subliminal hip thrust.
12. He looks better dressed the second time you meet him than the first – good one! This one is a very clear signal but make sure you are not at a wedding the second time meeting.
13. He clearly gets uncomfortable when you are around other guys – killer! Make that bastard nice and jealous, try to grind on someone to really work him up.
14. He is a little too interested in listening to your problems – this is an interested guy but a bit of a wiener, if he is kissing your ass now he will be licking it later but you might be into that.
15. He has given you some sort of pet name to tease you with – this does not include nicknames like mudskipper or jiggles.
16. You catch him looking away from you often – try to catch him in a mirror and see what body part he is staring at, then shake it a bit to see if his eyes wobble.
17. He is a guy and he is in your proximity – yes it can be that simple, now the question is can you reel him in without giving up too much ass?
18. He gets a bit of a nervous twitch around you, such as rubbing the bag of his neck – I meant to write back of his neck but neck bag sounded so interesting!? like some sort of testicular neck sack? would it hang from adams apple??
19. He is not friendly with you but still hangs around – I know this is lame but he may not really understand his attraction to you and therefore acts like an abused puppy. Don’t hesitate to kick him to maintain the abuse he is comfortable with.
20. He tries to make you jealous by talking to other girls – I use this more of a test of interest, you might want to do the same thing. I would do it by hitting on his friend/brother or better yet father!?
21. He talks about sex with you a little too much – this means he is thinking about sex when he is around you and his brain keep Freuding out, encourage this by blushing, giggling and squeezing your thighs together.
22. He remembers something specific you said – awesome sign, test him by mentioning you are into rim jobs and vegetables. When you hit the sack for the first time and he is armed with a cucumber and a tongue ring, you definitely have a keeper.
23. He controls his drinking around you – normally he is stoned and slobbering drunk, hitting on girls with a bloodshot leer and a barely intelligible expletive. Amazingly around you he can speak and doesn’t pass out in the bathroom, he definitely digs you…
24. He is interesting meeting your family/dad/mom – probably the strongest sign but I have been know to go after the runt of the litter in order to get to her hottie sister/mom. I have no shame.
25. Help me out here! in the comment section add some of the strange indicators that might mean he is after your stuff.
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