Is he gay? Or does he like you? 25 ways to know for sure

by Mike Masters on January 7, 2010

Does he like me? or is he gay?

Does he like me? or is he gay?

1.    He made the first move – asking for a number or simply talking to you first, if he is a Mormon or network marketer you might want to disregard this.
2.    He has asked a friend about you in the lame hopes they will tell you about it – if he does this you have my permission to torture him. Make him literally beg to take you out on a date, seriously
3.    Eye contact lingers a little too long – but maybe he is just looking at your unibrow or that whitehead?
4.    He has asked you out – Duh… why is it you still need clarification??
5.    He sends you the random obnoxious text – “hey cutie, what’s going on?” this is not too bright, make fun of him and see if he has more personality than a squash.
6.    Trying to entertain you – he tells jokes, juggles and rips his shirt off to show you how he removed the tattoo of his ex with an angle grinder.
7.    Ignores other people when you are around – this one is pretty positive, if he is putting all his attention on you I would say that is a pretty strong sign or he is autistic?
8.    Needs to be in proximity with you – this is very fun to test, see if you can get him to chase you around a party. Make sure you tell all of your friends what you are doing so they can laugh at him.
9.    Likes to make physical contact – there are a lot of touchy people in the world, me included so make sure that it is not the only sign or you could have a very confused Clay Aiken.
10.    Asks the really stupid questions – “are you ticklish??” Would someone that didn’t have a burning desire to touch you ever ever ask you this?
11.    Changes his posture, thrusts out his chest to look manlier – I know this sounds silly but I swear guys do it! I am partial to the random subliminal hip thrust.
12.    He looks better dressed the second time you meet him than the first – good one! This one is a very clear signal but make sure you are not at a wedding the second time meeting.
13.    He clearly gets uncomfortable when you are around other guys – killer! Make that bastard nice and jealous, try to grind on someone to really work him up.
14.    He is a little too interested in listening to your problems – this is an interested guy but a bit of a wiener, if he is kissing your ass now he will be licking it later but you might be into that.
15.    He has given you some sort of pet name to tease you with – this does not include nicknames like mudskipper or jiggles.
16.    You catch him looking away from you often – try to catch him in a mirror and see what body part he is staring at, then shake it a bit to see if his eyes wobble.
17.    He is a guy and he is in your proximity – yes it can be that simple, now the question is can you reel him in without giving up too much ass?
18.    He gets a bit of a nervous twitch around you, such as rubbing the bag of his neck – I meant to write back of his neck but neck bag sounded so interesting!? like some sort of testicular neck sack? would it hang from adams apple??
19.    He is not friendly with you but still hangs around – I know this is lame but he may not really understand his attraction to you and therefore acts like an abused puppy. Don’t hesitate to kick him to maintain the abuse he is comfortable with.
20.    He tries to make you jealous by talking to other girls – I use this more of a test of interest, you might want to do the same thing. I would do it by hitting on his friend/brother or better yet father!?
21.    He talks about sex with you a little too much – this means he is thinking about sex when he is around you and his brain keep Freuding out, encourage this by blushing, giggling and squeezing your thighs together.
22.    He remembers something specific you said – awesome sign, test him by mentioning you are into rim jobs and vegetables. When you hit the sack for the first time and he is armed with a cucumber and a tongue ring, you definitely have a keeper.
23.    He controls his drinking around you – normally he is stoned and slobbering drunk, hitting on girls with a bloodshot leer and a barely intelligible expletive. Amazingly around you he can speak and doesn’t pass out in the bathroom, he definitely digs you…
24.    He is interesting meeting your family/dad/mom – probably the strongest sign but I have been know to go after the runt of the litter in order to get to her hottie sister/mom. I have no shame.
25. Help me out here! in the comment section add some of the strange indicators that might mean he is after your stuff.

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Emo Doesn’t Exist Anymore? « Goes Ding When There’s Stuff
October 24, 2009 at 12:45 am

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

1 tomasz September 19, 2009 at 7:55 pm

You actually don’t try to make a move on her on the first date or better yet not try to get her to sleep with you.
.-= tomasz´s last blog ..No such thing as wrong decision =-.

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2 natural September 20, 2009 at 5:21 am

i guess he’s after your stuff if he simply asks, can i tap that?

i say make him wait for a long long time. sorry. if he can’t stick around for several months, let him go. that’s just me.
.-= natural´s last blog ..When Is It (or is it ever) Okay To Lie? =-.

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3 Mike Masters September 20, 2009 at 12:29 pm

@tom funny how the two comments below are so opposed. Giving the same advice but from two extremes!
@natural wait for several months!! hmmm… don’t think I could ever do that. I would not want to invest the time unless I know I like to drive the car =)

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4 BrainsandBeauty September 20, 2009 at 11:32 pm

If I have to “figure it out” I’m not interested… and I agree with Natural, if a guy can’t stick around for several months I let him move on… what I won’t do other females will and that’s okay with me.

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5 Mike Masters September 21, 2009 at 10:30 am

Are you guys kidding me?? you actually make guys wait a few months? Seriously?? I am not buying it, I think this is an exaggeration.

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6 BrainsandBeauty September 22, 2009 at 1:26 am

Laughing ALLLLL the way out loud that you think this is an exaggeration! When you have as many and as easy options as a woman, a few months is nothing… as far as I’m concerned it’s his treat for loving the chase ;) On my end, I do this to decide if they are worth sleeping with. Have you ever had sex with someone that you later thought, ewww, I can’t believe I let him/her touch me? That will never happen again :|

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7 lawyerchik1 February 13, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Exactly. A friend told me once: a woman sleeps with anyone she wants; a man sleeps with anyone he can. This is why, if you want to marry, you make ‘em wait and work for it. Otherwise, you’re trading what you have for something less than what you want, and all you get is screwed.

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8 Mike Masters September 22, 2009 at 11:50 am

I am being partially antagonistic but I have also never had to wait. Usually I am the one that turns the girl down. ;)

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9 love September 23, 2009 at 9:35 pm

Oh well, these are true! I really do some of these when I like someone.
.-= love´s last blog ..Monday Morning =-.

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10 BrainsandBeauty September 24, 2009 at 6:20 pm

@Mike :/

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11 Jillian October 14, 2009 at 9:10 pm

What I want to know is how many of these I could apply to YOU and how you deal with me? :p
.-= Jillian´s last blog ..How men respond to large women =-.

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12 Anonymous November 6, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Hi. Trying to order “The Art of Sexting” from Ireland but can’t because it keeps asking for a post code, which I don’t have. Have typed in n/a and 000 but to no avail and also it doesn’t like the phone number. Have tried it several ways including +353 for the code to Ireland. Any ideas?! Thanks. Lauren

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13 Mike Masters November 6, 2009 at 4:16 pm

have you used paypal before?
email me directly at mikethemasterdater@gmail.com

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14 Lifebeginsat30ty June 7, 2010 at 3:20 pm

All guy liking behavior can be linked back to kindergarden. Either (a) runs up and grabs your pony tail or (b) says nothing but stares at you from the jungle gym ;)

Thought you’d abandoned us, Mike! In the mood for giving advice?
.-= Lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Dating on Speed =-.

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15 nandoism June 10, 2010 at 10:10 am

don’t understand how being gay relates to this post?
.-= nandoism´s last blog ..How I Dealt with a Large Bully in a Bad Wig =-.

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16 Esme July 8, 2010 at 12:31 am

I stumbled across your site and find it very interesting!
As a woman who works with all men, and who has the misfortune of living at the firehouse with them, I find a lot of what you have to say is pretty dead-on. But having the unique situation of knowing all the games, I can cut through the bull-shit (which I have found men find quite frustrating!)
But I have to say…not too many real men left. What happened to them all??
Love, Esme
-I hope you don’t mind if I link to your blog? I do love it ;)
Esme´s last blog post ..Damn ‘Know It All’s

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17 Anonymous May 24, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I was actually pretty confused about my guy. He does half this stuff and says he wants to be friends. It’s pretty fun y because I do the other half and I am a woman.

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18 Christine June 9, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Love #19 with the abused puppy. I laughed so hard while reading that one. Thank you!

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19 Laura Thompson September 8, 2011 at 11:29 am

This is the BEST thing Ive ever read on the reality of male goofy behavior. It made me feel good and its all true ! Awesome article xx
Laura Thompson´s last blog post ..its a lie when republicans perpetuate the idea that poor people are lazy/living…

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20 SHERRI May 29, 2012 at 2:51 pm

He says my name alot… No matter who else is in the room, his chest faces me… Touches the small of my back… Buffalo stance… Raises his eyebrows, briefly, when he sees me… ;)

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21 JEFF September 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I was on an elevator (at work) with 2 other guys.
1 of the guys was close up to the doors and when he got off, the guy left with me reached in his pocket and started rumaging around ‘down there’ with rapid up and down hand movements..
I tried not to notice but out of the corner of my eye I could see that all the while he was doing that, he was watching me the whole time.
I know he saw me because (in my opinion) if I saw him then he could see me.
Part of me tends to believe that he was gay because he didn’t stop when he saw me or said “this isn’t what it looks like’ or waited the 30- seconds until the elevator stopped on his floor and it was odd that the ‘itch’ ( if it was) started as soon as the other guy left.
I talked to someone straight at work about it and she said that the reason he didn’t say anything was that he probably was embarrassed
But the same guy would look up everytime (no one else) when I would go up his aisle as I delivered the company’s mail and say HI to the ‘Team Leader’

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