Do I have any Chlamydia on my face?
I still remember the tension in his voice when he called me, sounding as if he had trouble with the police, “Dude, I need your help.” “Sure buddy, what’s up?” I said, “Hey man… you got to promise to keep this a secret” he said as seriously as a death in the family. Now before I tell the whole world Jack’s secret let me give you a little background. Jack was married and his wife was six months pregnant, they were friends with my girlfriend at the time and in fact we met at their wedding. Jack was a friend but I kinda looked the other way when he did un-cool stuff. He was a friend but I didn’t enjoying being a party to his lies. Jack was a cheater, big time… “Jack your secret is safe with me, how can I help you out?” I said like an overworked ER doc. “Hey man… really appreciate it, ummm how do I put this? Ahh… when I piss…” He didn’t get very far when doc left the room and I started laughing, “Fuck man!! You idiot!!” I said laughing so hard I was tearing up. “What’s so funny!?” he said very wounded. I said, “Because you got an STI you moron! Damn it Jack! Your wife is fucking pregnant! What were you thinking??? No… don’t answer that. Do you think you might have given it to her already?” He said not very convincingly “I don’t think so…” I said, “I am sorry Jack you really need to tell her and go to the doctor, this could affect your baby.” The line went quiet. Okay, please forgive me for what I am about to tell you. This probably is the point of the story and how deep guy code goes. To this day I feel guilty about this and have not told a soul. I got away with it but I felt sick taking this gamble for a friend. Ironically Jack no longer is a friend because he touched one of my students inappropriately but I stuck to my friend at the time whether it was a good decision or no. After Jack explained his symptoms I was pretty convinced it was Chlamydia, the most common STI in Japan at the time. “Okay this is how it works, I have a one dose antibiotic for you, you have to get your wife to take it too. Tell her it is good for her allergies or something,” I explained hating myself. “Thanks man you are a life saver” he said relieved. (I studied some medicine before Japan and was terrified of Japanese doctors so I had meds to treat anything from Syphilis to Spirochetes. In retrospect this was kinda silly and a tad arrogant.) Jack and I got away with this, his symptoms cleared up instantly and his baby was born healthy. It was a gamble, one I took because Jack was my friend and because of guy code. So what the F is guy code? This is an unwritten rulebook that all guys must follow under pain of social ostracism or serious ass whooping. Guys learn this code when they are very young and it is passed down by friends and older brothers with mild violence. Girls have a similar code I think but I have never been privy to it! For more definitions make sure you check out the hilarious urban dictionary definition of guy code. The question I have for myself is… Did I do the right thing? I stuck to guy code and didn’t betray Jack’s trust. I gambled and won but I never would have forgiven myself if his kid were born blind because Jack didn’t want his wife to know he was a cheating dog.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
See situations like that are different for everyone.
Personally if you told the wife, you would basically be putting yourself in the middle. You would have him mad at you for telling her. She would be mad at you for not telling her or telling him earlier to stop.
Also, before doing the above it makes sense to asses just how good the relationship is with your buddy and if its worth the risk.
Not jumping straight into it may be another option but again, based on the quality of the relationship you have with him. Which at that point you can gradually help him get better.
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You did the wrong thing, Mike. You may know a bit about medicine but you are not a doctor. Getting rid of chlamydia is different in women – there is a commonly prescribed antibiotic in the UK (cheaper) which works for men but not always effective for women, so women tend to be told to take a course of antibiotics, or take the cheaper one, then get another check. You could also have been wrong in your diagnosis – a lot of other STDs have similar symptoms. The baby being born healthy is no assurance that the mother is clear – if the pregnancy is past a certain point, i think it is 4-6 months, certain STDs, I think chlamydia too, can no longer harm the child.
So yeah, you let a woman stay with a loser, you let a child be born into an unhappy relationship which one day will indubitably end – thanks to you more likely at an age when the child will remember it and be traumatised by it, you may also have let this woman bare her last ever child, if she did indeed have an STD and you didn’t tell.
Sorry Mike, call it guy code if you want, I call it dishonesty and gambling with another woman’s life. You do realise that is also a symptom of syphillis, potentially fatal for women?
You cannot say you gambled and won either – she may still have something, and at the end of the day she is still with a cheating bastard who, from what you say, may even abuse their child.
Honesty and truth, whatever the results, is the only safe philosophy. In your shoes, I’d be tempted to rectify this wrong and find a way of telling her now.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Gotta agree here with Rose…and add, that having a pregnant woman take something like an antibiotic without even really knowing her medical history was pretty dumb. Especially if you know anything about medicine. This was definitely not the right call on your part. That’s the thing about “guy code”….there is not a whole lot of common sense or honesty in this code. Yes, it is something you guys learn from the get go, but knowing it and using it are different things. This is a situation where the caring and sensitive Mike (I know he’s in there) should have cared about the pregnant one, not the cheating asshole. And I am leaning to agreement with Rose on making it right now. Not because this guy is no longer your friend, but because health is a huge issue these days. It could have been many things…and then some! Why should she suffer for the “guy code”? As Mr. Cricket said “Let your conscience be your guide”.
I can see the grief from this post you are going to get….I’m sure when I check it again you will have been reamed by many of your “followers” – but I hope you learned from your mistake with this. There is no real integrity in the “guy code”. Wow, I think I am sounding like my buddy Jillian!
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Mike, I myself follow some type of code w/ all my friends. I can be trusted. I am like a priest. Tell me your confessions and I will take them to my grave. However, if this involved a family member of mine, I may have acted differently.
I have found thru my experiences that love is blind. Usually the other partner would have to be caught in the act for the other to believe it. Most of the time, we see only want we want to see and believe what we want to believe. When we are in love or think we are in love we don’t want to read the writing on the wall. When our friends try to tell us what is best for us we refuse to believe that is of course until we find the truth out. When that happens sometimes we have a problem in trusting again and its sad but we also refuse to love again.
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There is that non-word again….
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stu·pid (stpd, sty-)
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake.
4. Dazed, stunned, or stupefied.
5. Pointless; worthless: a stupid job.
Eh, tough one here folks. I may have to be a bit of an antagonist here and say, as a woman, and putting yourself in this situation, would you really throw yourself into the middle of a mess like this that had nothing to do with you? The ‘friend’ is a cad NO DOUBT, but in the end, all you can do as a friend is point them in the right direction and think twice about the people you associate with. It would definitely cast a shadow on my thoughts toward that friend and would likely cause thr friendship to go downhill, personally. Hey, us girls DO have a sort of ‘girl code’ too, but I think it runs a different current, if you will.
And… What the hell is spirochetes???
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@Tee-ra thank you! I am glad to hear someone sees it a little bit my way. I do not condone what I did… I still feel divided about it. Now of course I would rather bow out and say “I want nothing to do with it!” but at the time I saw a good friend in need and I dearly wanted to help him. He sounded very sincere when he told me that he had finally learned his lesson and all he needed was one more chance. I did what I could with what I understood at the time and I thought it was the right thing to do. What did I learn? Well, I still follow guy code but I back off in any situation that might get sticky.
BTW Spirochetes are a spiral form of bacterium that you might get if you hang out in India. These little suckers can actually burrow into your brain!!! Maybe that is what is wrong with me?
The question is… would you make the same decision if faced with this sitch again? BTW, I hate Jack. What a d-bag.
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@RTM ;D I adore you, sister of the heart.
@Mike I think you already know you made the wrong move here, buddy. The way wrong move. In the interest of not judging you, but seeing what’s happening, I see that you are still justifying your move in a HUGE way. I see a lot of “but but but” in your response here. BUT I talked to a doctor. BUT I didn’t know the wife. BUT I would have stayed out of it if I had it to do over again.
Ethically, is that really what you SHOULD do, is the bigger question? And is there a real obligation or is that a Western society thing?
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Oh, and I need to clarify: I judged you and then I tried to not judge you, for anyone that didn’t see what I was doing there. Not everyone is in my head to see what I was doing and I’m not always clear.
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Heh, I was trying to sound out the word spirochetes out loud and laughed to myself thinking ‘WOW, that sounds like a really bad personal problem’! What it really is doesn’t sound all that fantastic, either!
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Also I kinda despise jack too.
Mike,
It appears to me that the dilemma you faced with your friend Jack was less of a moment in the “Guy Code Hall of Fame,” and more of an ethical problem. Truth be told, people will do what it takes to protect friends, guys or girls. Take a town like Hollywood, where it’s all about who you know. In this situation, you are faced with judging the good and the bad, for multiple people; you included. And unlike one of your readers accuses, you are not responsible for making this woman stay with a loser/cheating A**HOLE. This is a decision she made, long before. If time brings us wisdom, then wisdom dictates that most of the time, it is best to stay out of other people’s interpersonal “Cluster-FFF’s.” I don’t think Dr. Laura broadcasts in Japan, but just for laughs, I would have recommended he call her.
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@Jillian You don’t understand I am NOT saying I violeted my ethics for fear of physical violence. I am saying that my ethics could not be “fudged” by sharing something that was not mine to share. This is where we may split, I told him the dangers and I left the choice in his hands.
My point about physical violence is that women are relatively immune to this. Sure I wanted to tell her and maybe if I were a girl I would because the consequences would be very different.
@Casey Thanks for chiming in. Maybe this is not guy code and maybe it is just an ethical argument. I clearly was not responsible for her dating an asshole, she knew he was cheating yet she is still with him 4 years after this incident (just found out from a friend).
@Mike Ok. That makes more sense. You and I have pretty strong ethical differences in belief in this situation.
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Jeeze Jillian don’t you sleep??? it is like 3 in the morning there!
I think maybe this is something I need to address in the future, male ethics are very different than female. I don’t think this is just me, notice that the first commenter (a guy) would have done something similar. This blog is about understanding men and women better and creating a little more peace. My ethics are not wrong, just different and I appreciate you respecting that.
This has been an interesting post…
It’s 1:45 here, you nut. And I’m watching Pushing Daisies for the first time on DVD. It’s awesome!
No work tomorrow, which is perfectly lovely.
I don’t know about that. I actually consulted a male before I responded to you and his response was similar to mine. That’s what makes me wonder if the differences may stem from something societal, which is something I mentioned earlier. This could be something that people believe differently on based on experiences. I don’t know that it’s a gender issue.
Well, duh. Nutter. ;P And if we didn’t disagree, we wouldn’t be us. I don’t think. And if we were someone else, that would be…this is getting existential.
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And I also meant to say it may be something that is differential based on location, as well. People in the north vs. south vs. east vs. west vs. midwest. All different cultures of “raising” and ethical norms, too.
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I agree with Jillian on most of whats been said since.
I do however think people should be in full posession of the facts when deciding if they want to be in a relationship. If those facts must be provided, you should.
Also, think creatively! There are always ways of telling someone anonymously, or making them discover it for themselves. I have done things creatively in the past to make sure I didn’t get in the shit, but that the moral dillemma was resolved.
e.g. in this scenario, the best option I can think of is this:
You find out what doctor’s practice they are using, this can be done easily by some light conversation manipulation. “Oh a couple I know are trying for a baby, they are private, can you recommend a good doctor?”
Then, you write an anonymous tip off letter or make an anonymous call to the doctor – doctors are bound by confidentiality. Say you have reason to suspect the husband may have been unfaithful, claim to be the other boyfriend of the woman he caught it from (even if it does get out, you are now in the clear), have done some investigations and would like to suggest to the doctor that he performs “routine” STD tests (incidentally in the UK its normal to do STD tests on pregnant women) to check the baby is okay. Then, if the woman has an STD, she will find out everything and the baby will be safe, and you are still in the clear because it is the stalking boyfriend of the other woman who did the dirty. If she is clear, the woman is still with an asshole, but at least her life and baby are safe. If he cheats again, you can decide then if you want to enact a similar scheme so she finds out, if he doesn’t reoffend you can forget about it I guess.
That, Mike, is an example where deception can be used for a risk-free and morally-clear result.
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Wow–I spend a weekend with the in-laws and come back to this! There are so many issues tied up in this post–gender politics, not least among them, I think (that’s the social science geek in me). Jillian, Rose, and RTM, I gotta say I agree with you ladies on the morality of the expectant mother and her future baby–and the story made me mad and queasy (sorry Mike–don’t worry, I still love you, though
). Maybe our reaction points to something so central to the female psyche (or at least the Western cultural female psyche) that we can’t quite wrap our heads around guy-code on this point. I knew that men think differently, and this is a fascinating ethnographic peek into a world I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Explains a lot about war, politics, and business too… Mike I think I get what you’re trying to say with your post about understanding the male psyche for the sake of peace, harmony, and better relationships, but it happens that the example you chose stabs us women right in the heart! There are a lot of historical, political, and social baggage tied up in this concerning our place in society, our ability to strive and participate in a world that on many levels is still dominated by men–and now we have firm evidence that the code that those men abide by is moronic (we suspected this, we *knew* this deep down, and now unfortunately, it’s confirmed. *sigh*) I can’t help but wish that you’d thought as you do now back then. I think your story ran away with your blog!
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@Mike–I think that part of why your intended point got run over by your story is that women and children have long suffered at the hands of this “guy code”–men keep their loyalty to each other, especially with regards to sexuality, and women and children are often the collateral damage. We, as women and as a society, have fought long and hard to protect ourselves and our children, and things are so much better than they were, but then we hear a story like this from someone we *like* and it reminds us that it isn’t over yet.
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Mike,
I was thinking about this topic again today and wanted to add a few comments. While it is true that the “good ‘ol boys” system is still alive and well, especially in politics, there is an equally ubiquitous code of conduct unique within female social circles: cattiness. I witnessed this most recently when my wife and I attended a party. We only knew one person at the party, the host, so the throngs of roving eyes were from strangers. I noticed a sharp difference in the way my wife was received and how I was received. I was generally greeted with smiles from the females in the room and hearty hand shakes from the guys as our host introduced us. In all we met about two dozen folks, most of them couples. I observed that while I was shaking hands with the guys, the women were running elevator eyes up and down my wife, smiling quickly only when my wife caught their eyes. They did not talk to her but stood back with the others whispering under their breath. This sucks, because my wife is gregarious and warm. She was dressed modestly for the occasion: tank top, running pants and flip-flops. Only two women extended a friendly hand to greet her: the host’s sisters. Later, after we left the party, I asked my wife if she noticed what I saw. She of course, did. My wife went on sadly to explain that she is constantly being sized up by other women and “judged”-usually unfairly. If fact there is such a fierce competitiveness among women, she has resigned herself from having too many girlfriends. Now, she has two very loyal, honest girlfriends, which she concedes is better than having thousands of fake ones. Good point. I think some of your female commentators here, have probably fallen prey to the cattiness of their own gender. Some women astute enough to recognize that there is a “guy code” might be resentful, because while women are more likely to stab each other in the backs, men tend to stick up for each other however barbaric the reason.
Studies among primates revealed a strikingly similar behavior pattern. Researchers observed that among small social groups, female chimps would gather in groups of two or more only to shun one particular female in the group. The outcasted seemed to have committed no discernible offense. What’s up with that?
-Casey
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@Casey It would be really easy to write off uneasiness to cattiness. I don’t feel like that is a fair comparison. I’m looking at this from an ethical difference in something that could potentially be dangerous to someone else vs. someone feeling like they are in comparison for a potential relationship and I don’t see how they are similar at all?
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@Casey–you’re right, cattiness does exist and it’s awful. In fact, one of the largest hurtles for Hillary Clinton in her campaign, and for Ms. Sotomayor in her nomination to the Supreme Court, is the unfair and harsh criticism that other *women* direct at them–where men are “assertive” and “powerful” women judge women to be “strident” and “difficult”. Where men are “confident”, women are “selfish”–it goes on and on. We women are often our own worse enemies. But don’t underestimate our loyalty, either–loyalty to family, friends and community is important for many of us. It sounds like your wife is a case in point for that kind of loyalty. So yes, cattiness does exist. But there is a strong argument to be made that it exists, if not because of, certainly in relation to, the patriarchal social and political structures that still govern much of our society. We women are raised to unwittingly think and believe a lot of things that play into a male dominated-system, and unfortunately, many women equally unwittingly become some of the strongest defenders of that system through the cattiness that you describe. You’re right–it’s hateful and hurtful (I for one, will never, ever, not for love or money wear a bikini again because of comments my “sister” women made about me in one once 17 years ago and the deep scar that left on my self image). But many of us do strive to overcome cattiness in ourselves, so don’t chalk up my comment (at least) to envy of the “good ol’ boy” system–it’s not to be envied or praised, but acknowledged for being what it is and Mike’s post helps with that by providing us women with a glimpse into it. Overcoming the gender politics we deal with has to force women to look at themselves just as hard as–if not harder than–we look at the system that we live in.
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Thank you Casey and Sarah for tying a lot of things together here and I do think that the story ran away with my blog!! but that is not a bad thing, I like the interest stirred up here.
Remember the title of the post, “the secret society of morons.” I would not have titled it this if I thought I did the right thing. However I do not back down from not telling his wife, simply not my business.
I tell this story not to anger anyone but to help you understand what you will never be able to change about men. We have a very deep loyalty to one another even in the face of something immoral. It does not mean we approve of the immorality but we will not violate confidence. Simply put loyalty will often trump morality or even change ethics. You may hate this but fighting what you can not change is fruitless.
Speak for yourself, Mike. I have and do know men that are different. And perhaps part of why I am single is that I am not going to settle for some spineless weakling who does anything his mates ask.
Yes women can be catty, but we also can be more morally strict than men. Generally, there is a sort of sisterhood at work. As I understand it, the sisterhood is the code that bites back at the guy code, whereby women let each other know if they are dating a cheating asshole.
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@Mike so you think you are a moron? Again, I think you are wrong, here. Not all men go by this code. Maybe you do, but not all men. It’s a generalization to say that “all men” go by the code that you do. This is a matter of ethical differences between folks. For you, you place your friends above morality. Not all men feel the same way.
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Rose and Jillian, I’ve got to agree with you. Sorry Mike. My husband might have made the choice to keep his mouth shut when he was in his 20’s….young and dumb and all about the frat boy “code”, but in his 40’s he seemed to grow up and understand the moral and ethical “code” of life and where his priorities were. We all choose friends thru our lives that might not live up to our morals or ethics. So what do you do with them? Hang out until someone better comes along? People do that alot. Did you know you were hanging out with such a scumbag? Didn’t you say originally that this was not your friend’s first indiscretion that you knew of? Want a glimpse of your future? Look at your friends. And as far as trying to be discreet about information…sorry for the language, but fuck that noise! Weaving tales to get to the point helps no one. And if people don’t like that you speak the truth for all the right reasons, move on. Stand up for yourself and what you believe. Not everyone will like you for it, but is that why we are here? To please everyone else? Nope. Life is short. Be honest. Be moral. (yeh yeh I know we all have a different idea of what is moral). I have learned the hard way, but the people that really know me, know my heart, might get pretty pissed at me for being honest, these are the friends that I have had for over 30 years (some for over 40), know they can count on me in ALL situations because I have no ulterior motives. Imagine a world where people didn’t have ulterior motives (doing the “right” thing vs. doing the thing that’s right for me)…sorry guys…didn’t mean to preach….
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I know the “definition” but I think it is supposed to be “more stupid” or stupidy or stupidist, or dumber, but stupider???? Still questioning the English on that one. But I am not the word police – obviously
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i guess you did right by staying out of it, but boy is that man – i won’t call him names – not very smart. very risky thing he did to his wife and unborn child. what is wrong with men. greedy, greedy, greedy.
i mean it’s okay to be greedy, just eat at home.
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@Jillian, Rose, & RTM–I agree with you ladies whole-heartedly in this. My husband and our best male friends put ethics first and yet have–and *are*–extremely close and trustworthy friends whole are loyal to each other through thick and thin. Part of that loyalty is calling each other on the carpet when they fuck up ethically.
To blindly follow any code is to shut off the mind, not think for oneself, and refuse to grow and mature in person and intellect (sounds like orthodoxy, and we know how you feel about that, sir). By saying that the code is what it is and that it won’t change and that we ladies have to accept it for what you say it is, is like saying that men are frozen, that there is no room for growth, change, and choice–and I *know* you don’t believe that’s true (recall our phone conversation about neuro-plasticity and domain specificity?). Please don’t lock men into an unchanging and inflexible position and then ask women to accept them as they are–doing so asks women to accept that men will potentially hurt them in order to protect other men. That’s just plain misogyny and I don’t believe you’re that kind of misogynist. Do you really want us to accept that that’s just the way it is????
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Dudes. The thing that gets me, as a mama, is that I was specifically not allowed to take any type of meds during my pregnancy without first consulting my OBGYN. No antibiotics, no cold medicine, not even my allergy pills because there wasn’t enough testing done to see how it could possibly affect my baby. While I’m glad Mike talked to a doctor, I think what bothers me MORE here is that the D-Bag tricked his wife into taking it. Ugh. That makes me feel sick. I’m glad their son is healthy.
And if he cheats that much? I’m glad he got an STD. I for one, do not think Mike should have been the one to tell the wife. Hearing something like that should come from someone who cares about the person, not from some stranger. But that’s just my two cents.
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@QTMama
I agree, it SHOULD come from someone who cares about the person. But what if there is no other option?
When I was in a similar but less serious situation (I got an STD from a ‘boyfriend’ who already had another ‘girlfriend’, found out via myspace!), I told the girl’s friends via email / private message, and wrote a kindly worded message to her, as directed by the friends, who believed it was best they broke it to her and she read my message after. It is true, she didn’t want to have contact with me directly but it was okay through her friends, and I was assured she had no ill feelings toward me and was glad I told her. I weighed it up – better to tell her first, or her friends first? It was clear from her profile that these were friends from childhood, so I chose the latter, because I thought it was important she would have immediate support, not having to call around till she reached someone. This was judged by all involved to be the right choice.
My personal belief, as shown in that example, is that it is indeed better for it to come from someone close to you, but at the same time, it is better to hear it from someone rather than nobody at all. Although not many would think about it, Mike could have found anonymous ways of telling her or at least making sure her health was okay (e.g. my doctor scenario explained above).
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@QTMama–Amen! No meds for to-be-mamas and there is indeed divine justice in jerks getting STDs (though no justice in passing them on to wife and child)!
@Mike–I wanted to add that my last response was about ethics and codes of conduct in general, not about the particular ethical pickle you describe in your post. I can’t put myself in your shoes with Jack and his wife, I just question statements of “it is what it is and don’t try to change it”. Too black and white when the world is messy, soupy grey!
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@Rosalyn – I think that you handled that situation with class and grace. Nice job girlie.
@Sarah – Agreed, 100%
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Hey guys, I just encouraged my mom to start a blog. It is a sweet blog about the funny stories she has growing up in the 50/60s
http://tqween.wordpress.com/
Visit her and say hi!
@Mike–What a sweet son you are. But hey! Have you ducked out of our fascinating conversation here????
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Naw I was working on another post! these comments take time!
Oh OK–looking forward to the next post!
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Hmm. This is definitely a tough one for all parties involved. I definitely think it was the right decision to stay out of it, as on balance it would merely complicate things more. The only alternative would have been to do some anonymous tipping, but you didn’t have the kind of relationship with her whereby that would have been a viable option.
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So… Frisco…
Do you know who I am talking about??
I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. Crazy stuff, man!
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Just heard from someone that his wife caught him literally in bed with another girl. It amazes me that she didn’t leave him years ago.
Wow–here’s a possibility: maybe it doesn’t bother her that he cheats? That would bother the hell out of me, but she’s not me, now is she? He’s got fidelity issues, and she is either a victim or totally OK with polygamy. But if it works for them and they’re happy, who are we to say?
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well i can say u did both the right things and wrong things. well the wrong thing you did was was always turn the cheek when ur friend at the time was doing wrong instead of advising him to stop and think about his family.
Now the good thing was that makes you a man was that u thought about what would happen with the wife and child and helped save the unborn bby. and also by laughing in his face about how big of a moron he is and in the future down the line stoped being his friend. that’s something a wife would apprecite from a husbands friend.
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Found this info on the internet… If you are still able to tell them about this, I would.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea are described as the two most preventable causes of infertility. Unfortunately, these sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) present no symptoms in most women, and therefore may remain untreated for a long period of time. This is why getting annual screenings, which consists of a simple urine test, is of the utmost importance. Both gonorrhea and chlamydia can be treated with oral antibiotics. However, by delaying treatment a person runs the risk of becoming infertile.
Delayed treatment can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Symptoms of PID include lower abdominal and pelvic pain, pain during urination and sex, vaginal discharge, vaginal bleeding, fever, chills and a foul odor. Pelvic inflammatory disease is essentially an infection on a woman’s reproductive organs. In its progressed state, scar tissue damages the fallopian tubes, uterus and ovaries. This can cause infertility or lead to a potentially fatal ectopic pregnancy.
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You did the right thing! It was not your place to get involved, unless you were better friends with his wife. She was obviously of less concern to you. All you could do was give him advice. Maybe it wasn’t the best advice, but the guy was desperate and dumb. You had no way of knowing whether he would follow through or seek alternative advice. Although, he did seem too ashamed or scared of getting caught to talk to others. What would he have done if you said nothing to him? I’m thinking something a whole lot worse may have occurred. Also, not her fault really but she was dumb enough to marry a cheater and bear his child. So, if anything you saved her. I guess the real moral of the story is only offer advice you are certain about and get all the facts before saying anything.
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