When I first went to Japan I lived in a small city called Obu. This meant that I was a bit bored and a bit lonely. In some ways it was a good thing since it forced me to go out and do things very much out of my comfort zone. I could not speak Japanese at all at the time so when I ventured across the street to a Korean BBQ restaurant I was pretty nervous. The only reason I knew it was Korean BBQ was because of the large plastic cow in the front grinning like a Cheshire cat. Feeling my heart quicken and my palms sweat I forced myself to go into the restaurant. I sat down at the counter and tried to make sense of a menu with a million little chicken scratches on it, nothing was legible. I then noticed a group of girls giggling at me and there she was… One of the most attractive girls I have ever seen in my life. We went out for dinner a few times and I learned she was a college student from Burma. This striking and sweet girl captured me until something very surprising happened.
After going out a few times we eventually became more physically involved. And that is when I found out she had never been with anyone before. Now most guys would be very excited by this but I find it to be a turn off since I have no desire to teach. However, I did like her and I was very very attracted to her so I thought I would do her this favor (I am so generous!) I gently introduced her to sex but this is when things surprised me. When we finally worked up to the deed she handled things quite well! (I know what you are thinking, but she really was a virgin) Not only did she handle things well but she was able to do something I have never seen before! I remember my shock as she had an orgasm…! HER VERY FIRST TIME HAVING SEX!!! Not only that but SHE HAD MULTIPLES THE VERY FIRST TIME!!! And to top it off it was her VERY FIRST ORGASM EVERRRR!!! I would like to think it was because I was such an amazing partner but… no I will just assume I am. 
“Mike!! That was… what that was!!?? She looked at me in wide eyed broken English way. I felt almost as surprised as her and I beamed back. “Mike… Mike… ooohh Mike… I… I…” she smiled at me grinning even more than the cow across the street. “Mike I…. I… LOVE YOU!!!” My smile flicked and my eyebrows shot up as I tried to maintain control. “What??” “I love you Mike, I love you, I do. I know you no love me but I love you!! I do I do!!”
I cut things off about two weeks later.
I have never been stalked by a more attractive girl but none the less it was a little disconcerting. There would be strange gifts sitting on my doorstep when I got back from work (once a square watermelon!) She would call me a few times a day and hang up. She made friends with the girls I worked with to ask about me. It was creepy but harmless.
I imagine to a lot of you this sounds horrible. How could I possibly break a girls heart like that!!? How could I be so incredibly cruel as to leave her in the cold? At the time I was very confused myself! But now I understand I actually did her a favor.
One of the women I work for has a boyfriend, well not really. He is madly in love with her and wont go away, so she lets him hang around. She has no respect for him and she finds herself treating him terribly. “Keep quiet Don, Mike and I are talking.” He shrugs and says something wussy, not even trying to protect his ego. She continues to berate him and he continues to take it. Not good….
Here is the point…
If you have a severely unbalanced relationship, YOU OWE IT to the other person to make the correct decision for them. If you allow someone in your life that has feelings for you that you cannot reciprocate, you will only do damage to yourself by not acting. If I allowed this girl to stay in my life I would hurt her so much more by not being able to love her back. I would crush her spirit by letting her think she could have something that was out of reach. I would hate myself for taking advantage of another’s love without giving it back. I made the correct decision.
Interestingly enough I saw her a year later walking with a guy. She was happy to see me and gave me a hug, she then introduced me to her fiancé! He was also from Burma…
- When the other does not have the emotional wisdom to do the right thing you must do it for them
- As attractive as it is to be loved by someone who worships you, it is simply cruel to allow it
- The truth is painful but they will move on faster than you can imagine
- Allowing someone to be in your life that shouldn’t be will only make you despise yourself
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You know Michael, you make a great point.
I have begun to understand and really see what the dating world is really about. I think too many people are out looking for someone that will give them happiness.
The problem is they won’t do anything to change their situation, to learn to love themselves first.
Maybe this is why so many people are stalkers or obsessed.
They run to others in hopes they will accept them for what they are not.
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Yeah I always think that when someone literally goes “crazy” over another human being you have to wonder if the other person is doing anything that would give the “crazy” person any ideas that would have added fuel to their intense and already burning fire.
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I’ve had nothing but bad experiences for Valentine’s Days in my pre-married life, and this is one of the reasons. One of the years, this bitch I knew wanted me to spend it with her when I had a choice of at least 3 others, and then led me on!
At any rate, this is good advice, and I think it is something that every girl (and tall/attractive man) should be taught. It is cruel to make someone think that they have even a fraction of a chance with you. It’s heartless, selfish, and shame on you if you are doing this.
However, if I was single, and a girl gave me a square watermelon, I’d probably fall in love with her. That’s an AWESOME gesture.
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I’ve never had anyone going crazy over me. I’m actually pretty jealous. Great post!
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