In Vegas, Naoko got her way. Isn't she hot though?? Crap, I was so whipped
Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year, for couples?
Mike the big Christmas wuss
Naoko was pissed, she stared at me with a clinched jaw and eyes teary with anger. “This is my vacation too! I am sick of speaking English and spending time with your family! I have a headache and I want to leave!” We were standing in the back yard on a balmy Santa Barbara day, the smattering of family looked outside curious about the tone in Naoko’s voice but not understanding the rapid Japanese spilling out of her mouth. (I was having a hard time too)
I felt a rush of guilt over this, I had brought her to the US to show her a wonderful time and it seemed I was blowing it. I had just started a new teaching job in Japan, it paid very poorly and I wasn’t able to pay for the kind of vacation I wanted to show Naoko. I responded rather weak, “Honey I am so sorry, what do you want to do? Or go?” She looked at me lip still quivering, “I don’t know, anywhere but here, I hate this!”
The next day we rented a car and we drove to Vegas for New Years. This put a huge dent in my credit card, which took me months to pay back, but I loved Naoko and I wanted her to be happy.
Clearly I was quite the wuss here and I was with a girl that was an expert in emotional terrorism. The palpable stress of the holidays brought out the worst in both of us, like a good down pour does worms. (Really angry girls, my cryptonite).
This year I am single, I think it is one of the first times I have been home without a girl in tow. I am thankful for this, since I can’t remember a holiday where things were positive with my significant other. Holidays are baffling, it always seems like things are going well, then, out of nowhere, someone drops some napalm and all hell breaks loose. I WILL avoid that this year!
Couple killer?
I know for myself that the holidays often act like a drunken truth serum for relationships. If you have ANY relationship issues, the holiday pressure cooker will bring garbage to the surface like dynamite in a koi pond. However, I have to admit that it can also intensify something wonderful, I need more of those experiences!
and on that slightly pessimistic note, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
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This is the 2nd year I am single at the holidays and it is kind of depressing. I’ll be taking applications for anyone who wants to kiss me at midnight on New Year’s Eve. lol.
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Couple killer? I think it depends on your motives….
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That is why I added the very confusing statement in the title (at least for me)
Mike,
I think you are right, holidays are hard for all, single, in a relationship or long or short time married. For some reason every person developws there own idea of a perfect holiday, and when sharing it or not sharing it something always goes awry. I can only personlly speak from a long time marriage point, and my idea isn’t always what the other wants, so I have found communication to plan and determine exactly what the plan is for that holiday works with my spouse and he is wishy washy every year. My newlywed sister found that she should have included her new hubby in the planning as he wanted a low key gathering, which turned into a 28 person gathering due to my sis’s good nature of inviting everyone in the world. Then with my young sisters, one in a long relationship, one in a new realtionship, both found that they just needed to be with those that cared and loved them. Holidays test you and your relationships, making it thru is like jumping into a fire and walking out. We learn for next time, because you can always guarantee there will be a holiday.
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It is stressful!
but I am very thankful that this year was a healing year. This year was healthy and happy.
Now I really look forward to next year when I won’t be so stinking poor!
woohoo to being stinking poor!! Happy New Year since I know I won’t talk to you before then.
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oh crap I meant NOT not being stinking poor
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