Comments on: Step #8 in perfect partner, who really desires you?

By: Step #7 Anger and fear, blocking your soul mate : MasterDater

Step #7 Anger and fear, blocking your soul mate : MasterDater — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:13:48 +0000

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By: Jillian

Jillian — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 21:55:12 +0000

Mike, I was just having a conversation about this the other day. The truth of the matter is that diversity is not accepted in the United States. If you look anything outside of Hollywood standards of normalcy, in general day to day life, people will “try to do better.” If they think you are the best they can get, then they will stick with you. If not, they’ll keep going. I’m not generally a Jewel fan, but her line in her song Intuition hits the nail on the head when it says “am I it or could you get more?” It’s a predominant thought in our country.

Granted, I was having this conversation with another large woman, such as myself. She is African American, I’m white, but we’ve both experienced the same stereotypical behavior in men and women. Keeping in mind that this is a stereotype, and therefore a generalization that could not possibly apply to everyone, but because it is a stereotype, applies to many. What we’ve found in our personal experience is this: Whites want skinny women and muscular men. Blacks want junk in the trunk and men that are big enough to make the women feel small. And Latinos want their women large. The larger the better and the women just want their men. However they are. It’s a very sensual, sexualized thing.

My friend and I come from two very different backgrounds and yet we both ended up in doctoral programs in the same school. I’m from the North, she’s from the South and we’ve had very different experiences up until this point. But the way we’ve observed and been treated has been the same. By far, I haven’t had a white man look at me twice since I was a size 7/8. However, I went to New Orleans for a conference last year and had to wave cars with Latinos and African American men on because I’m married. It’s a crazy country we live in.

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By: Mike Masters

Mike Masters — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:34:39 +0000

You’re nasty…

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By: Lito | FilipinoFriendsterWorld.com

Lito | FilipinoFriendsterWorld.com — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 09:59:34 +0000

Wow! I really like the photo. A big blonde girl! I can’t imagine how BIG her p***y is. LOL.

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By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:56:07 +0000

What, no sex life?!? The Master Dater?!? But on the bright side, think of all of that extra creative energy you can channel into blogging… How very zen of you. Now whether this is on purpose or accidental is another issue entirely.

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By: Mike Masters

Mike Masters — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:42:38 +0000

well don’t worry it is clearly not as big as my ego or my non existent sex life.

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By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:15:24 +0000

Sorry man! Just can’t control this monster brain of mine!!

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By: Mike Masters

Mike Masters — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:06:27 +0000

Dammit Sarah! didn’t you read the comment I left on Step #6??

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By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:01:20 +0000

Man–time to get away from Southern California, my friend! That’s where Barbie and Ken reign supreme. You should try out Hyde Park where girls are unabashedly brunette, not so busty, and really don’t care whether they meet the Barbie standard or not–they’d rather read a book, talk about quantum physics and laugh about Kant or Nietzsche while lounging in the sun at the lake front. And where guys are sexily geeky and international, just as comfortable with Star Trek as they are with Durkheimian social theory. Here, a good mind is so much more appealing than the stereotyped gendered ideals symbolized by Barbie and Ken.

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By: tom

tom — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:46:47 +0000

Maybe I am shooting too far with this but just because they are your parents does not mean they know or understand what is best for you.
They are still human beings and as we know it, we are all selfish, all about me-me-me.

I mean I even hear my parents telling me don’t listen to this or that person while the stuff that comes out of their mouth does not make sense or I just don’t agree with.
So a normal person would listen to either one, but me I listen to both and figure out with one makes sense to me.

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By: Mike Masters

Mike Masters — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:29:54 +0000

I like step 8 too. I have a lot of passion for this subject, since I have not dated my own ethnicity in over 10 years. This does not mean I didn’t sleep with them! (alcohol is dangerous)
So… I have blond hair…

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By: Mike Masters

Mike Masters — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:24:54 +0000

Tom always glad to see you back.
It is painful how much our friends and family affect our choices in life.
If I had listened to what I thought they wanted for me. I would have gone to med school and never left the states! something I don’t regret AT ALL.
Honestly not their fault but I desperately wanted to be accepted and it was hard to break these bonds

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By: Zaïna

Zaïna — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:10:18 +0000

I like step#8!!
I’m a Black woman. Black men don’t find me that attractive, which doesn’t bother me, cause i’m not attracted to them. There more like “brothers” to me, even if they look like Gary Dourdan! I’m attracted to the complete opposite white guys. If they’re blond, it’s even bether ))
So, i say big up to multiculturality!

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By: tom

tom — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 17:07:23 +0000

You know Mike, this is a great post because i can relate to this a lot.

For many years during my dating years, I have no idea why but for some reason things did not work out for me because my parents did not approve of who I was dating.
They got their own criteria and I did not agree with it but wasn’t man enough to stand up and say no.

I finally learned that in the past year or so and when I look back on that, I am so shocked and appalled at myself for doing that.

As you said, why are we doing this for our friends or family comfort? I mean who will live with this person everyday? Certainly not them.

Another thing, just because your parents raised you a certain way, it does not mean you will actually remain that way, your beliefs will change in values, morals, religion, money, etc.

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