Comments on: You just f*cked my lover! – Should I be jealous?

By: K.E.

K.E. — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 08:01:28 +0000

I have to say that, while open relationships work for some people for awhile, every one that I’ve witnessed eventually fell apart, since one or the other (usually the female / the one who wanted exclusivity) left.

You need to be honest with yourself about what you want. Select people who want what you want. Be realistic about who the other person is, and what they want.

(Seriously, do you really think a 26 year old buff dude wants the same thing you do, as a 45 year old guy? And long distance to boot? Long distance never means monogamy unless you have that agreement straight up, with someone who’s demonstrated real trustworthiness.)

I’m not a Taosit per se, but their main tenets help a lot in these situations:
1) Open your eyes
2) Be honest about what you’re looking at
3) have a sense of humor

Good luck!

Like or Dislike: 1 0

By: Eileen

Eileen — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 22:56:22 +0000

I have to admit, I have done this myself quite a few times. Although, I’ve never really been able to put words to my thoughts & describe it before now.

Like or Dislike: 0 0

By: lawyerchik1

lawyerchik1 — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:57:16 +0000

Good stuff to remember. Especially that last bit: subconsciously creating an uncomfortable environment for [someone] because you want out. … Sensing that someone is pulling away anyway, and that loss is “inevitable,” why not really screw it up once and for all – just get it over with now – so that pain isn’t waiting in the wings down the road; plus, you get to blame someone else for all of it….. Ouch.

Not just for romantic relationships, either. I can see parallels in friendships, working relationships, etc., that might follow the same pattern.

Like or Dislike: 0 0