The first time I stumbled upon this question was on the youthfully obnoxious website, girlaskguys.com or what I call GAG for short. That particular post is here, What’s wrong with girls asking guys out? If you care to read this incredibly adolescent post go ahead… or I can tell you what I learned from it. (Ironically I might be doing video posts for them, go figure…)
The majority of guys answering this question encouraged most women to, “Just go for it! Ask him out!” I was probably one of the only guys out of 20 that said, “Of course he wants you to ask him out! Its so he doesn’t have to do any work!”
In the last post, Should a girl ask a guy out? 13 answers there was a bit of a split. Some women said they were totally comfortable asking a guy out. Other women said that they were tired of taking on this role because it set the bar for the rest of the relationship. I agree with the later, although I do believe they still were asking men out but in a very subversive way.
What sucks about asking a guy out:
Problem #1 He might go out with you even if he is not that into you.
If a guy asks you out and you are not that into him, you will probably say no. HOWEVER, if a girl asks a guy out and he is not that into her he might still say YES…! (WTF??? WHY??)
Why? Because for a man (not all) sex is the priority, not relationship. This means that if you ask a man out he might say yes simply because he sees some free ass he can tap! He may not be rationally thinking, “Shit she is nasty but what the hell…” well, actually he might be but I would like to give guys the benefit of the doubt.
Problem #2 It is a weak position for a woman to take
Being the one to ask him out immediately makes you weak, but you say,” If he asks me out doesn’t that put him in the same position?” Sometimes, but usually NO, instinctually the guy knows that it is his job to ask you out and he has far less to lose doing so. All guys know deep down that the girl asking him out is not playing the female role and only a REALLY interested girl would do this. You just showed him your poker hand and you will surely lose the game.
Problem #3 This is the guys job!
Many of you say something like, “I guess I am just old fashioned, I like guys to ask me out.” So what does this mean? Is “the modern” woman going to evolve to the point of getting drunk and sexually harassing some guy at a bar? “No, stop! Don’t touch me there!” I can’t imagine this is coming but I can dream…
The reason this is the guys job is because it is necessary for him to show his sincerity and true interest by running the risk of rejection. This is not the girl’s job and as long as guys stay sexually driven (not relationship) this will remain.
I know the three points here kind over overlapped but if you take any message home it is this:
A guy might say yes to a girl asking them out for the opportunity to have sex with her, and possibly NOTHING more.
The next post I will contradict myself, since it is totally possible to ask a guy out as long as it is done in the right way!
Protect the vag ladies!