Step #1 to the perfect guy – know your balance

by Mike Masters on March 1, 2009


This is part 1 of the 15 part series on getting the perfect partner. Every other day I will be releasing another post.

From the last post 10 people signed up to my feedburner, thanks! Now I have 30, no idea why it is not showing! But lets keep pushing! click here.

Most single women I know are very frustrated with men. They feel that all the good ones are taken or are gay! I don’t believe this is true for a second… I believe very strongly that you are 100% responsible for the crappy guy you have been attracting (another post). The number one reason you don’t have a great guy is because… you have no idea what you truly want or… who is truly good for you.

What are you? Fire or Water?
There are many ways to break down personality type but I find the fire and water analogy one of the easiest to understand. Everyone is fire and everyone is water to a degree. Fire is aggressive and Water is passive.

In order to have a good relationship, Fire always needs to be matched with Water and vice versa. So if you have a fire personality and you date another Fire  you are going to FIGHT constantly. OR if you are Water and you date another Water you are going to be extremely bored with each other.

Now I will add one more twist, everyone is both… Depending on the person you are around you either flame up! or water out…  This means you have two types of guys you can date, one that is more Watery than you OR one that is more Fiery than you. For example with an American girls I am usually Water so I would probably have to date a bit of an aggressive girl to feel comfortable. With Japanese girls I am usually Fire and I have found that I like this role.

But one problem… Masculine energy is usually aggressive and Feminine energy is usually passive (just like fire and water). If you are a have a hard time meeting a guy more fiery than you are you might have a bit of masculine energy! I can just imagine the guy cowering in fear as you yell at him… “damn it! just pick a fricken movie, I am sick of the, whatever you want shit!” Dating a passive watery guy is possible but might make you feel like less of woman! So… if you find yourself very fiery you need a special type of guy. If he is more fire than you are… it might lead to guns and baseball bats, not good. The type of guy you want appears to be water on the outside but contains a smoldering fire on the inside… He will put out your small fires with his water but you will still feel like a woman since he is not afraid to take you on.

You are a watery girl? Pretty easy, find a calm Fire male. You will know the balance instinctively. The worst guy for you is someone as watery, it will push you into a fire role and you will feel very irritated with him and not know why. You will push his buttons to try to light a fire in him but he will end up leaving you instead.

If you pay attention all of your relationships will take on a similar balance. Even same sex ones. When you are with your best friend you conform to one another, you can feel the balance and you don’t have to bend much to fit. This is a huge clue, the perfect guy will be very similar in balance to one of your closest fiends. (ironically your closest friend and the perfect guy won’t get along very well)


  • If you are a strong fire look for a strong smoldering water to balance you
  • Your closest friend will give you clues to what the perfect guy is like
  • Fiery men are almost always more attractive to women but not necessarily a good match
  • Too much fire and too much water is a mess, date someone just a hair more/less than you for a good fit
  • Guys! there is a reason why Brad Pitt is so popular, women like fire! Want to be more attractive? Light a fire…

Continue to Step #2 Get clear – Boring good guy or Sexy bad guy?

Want to really figure out why he won’t commit?? Why he isn’t getting serious and what to do about it? Check out my best selling book on Amazon for only 2.99! Click here for 75 Secrets Why He Won’t Commit And What To Do About It

{ 3 trackbacks }

June 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Soulmate, the secret to finding your perfect match - Feminine vs Masculine : MasterDater
November 23, 2009 at 7:38 am
Step #2 Get clear – Boring good guy or Sexy bad guy? : MasterDater
December 7, 2009 at 4:06 pm

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Zaina March 2, 2009 at 1:35 am

Thanks for the tip! It makes sens!

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2 Michelle March 2, 2009 at 6:33 am

Good post. Thank you.

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3 tom March 2, 2009 at 7:03 am

I like the simplicity of water and fire.

And I agree that long term if you are a watery guy, the girl will probably leave, it has happened to me.

But are there limits to say how fiery one can be?

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4 Jennifer March 19, 2009 at 8:05 am

Haha love the article and its too true (sorry I have no argument). I have been on both sides of the boat here, and boy oh boy can it cause problems when youre both fire.

Also on that note; I am a very fiery person. Sometimes, even when a guy has a little more fire than me, we tend to argue alot, and push one anothers buttons. This can be fun but also very tiring.

On the watery side, its true about women feeling more masculine if they have a more passive man, and can also get boring very quickly. Its very important for the man to have a good balance of passive and aggressive to keep a firey girl’s attention (in my view, for what its worth).

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