Secret signs of attraction 1 of 2

by Mike Masters on July 7, 2009


Secret signs of attraction

Descending from easy to spot to downright… WTF?

Slightly too long of eye contact

Easy one but it amazes me how many people don’t get this! Unless you have a pimple like Mt. Fuji or had a little mishap while blowing your nose, he is interested in you. If you feel the same and are a guy, go to talk them. If you are a girl simply smile, if he has any  huevos he will come up and say hi. If not, you probably aren’t missing too much.

They are following you!

About half the time I go grocery shopping I find myself in the wrong isle. A bit baffled I will proceed to the right isle only to see a pretty girl round the corner. “Ohh…” I will say to myself, I was following her. I probably wont talk to her but I will be unconsciously drawn, looking for some opening. If you reciprocate the attraction make some sort of opening for them. If you are in the grocery store drop something large breakable and messy, like pickles! that will get the conversation flowing.

This can happen in any locale, in class, at a party, club, restaurant. See someone appearing a few more times than normal? Very possible they are drawn to you and don’t even know it, either that or you just smell good.

Physical contact and/or Mild Physical violence

Nearly every time I go to a party I get punched, smacked or pushed. Most of the time it is because I deserved it but more often than not it was a form of flirtation. This seems to be a throw back to grade school when our reaction to attraction was confusion and mild aggression. This is the desire to touch is masked in the guise of annoyance. That guy that pinched you, might very well like you, even if the bastard left a bruise. I find this behavior comes from people less skilled at the dating game and not really sure how to show their attraction without resorting to pigtail pulling tactics. (why the hell do I do this so much?)

This attraction sign includes any kind of touching, arm, hair, shoulder, etc. The person that does this is a bit more comfortable and confident with themselves. They are not afraid to break your personal space with an elusive caress. It comes down to this, people do not touch people they don’t like.

Suggesting Alcohol or innocently offering a drink

More of a guy thing but I have had girls use it on me as well. When I was in Korea an expat told me about an unspoken sign leading to sex. Apparently when you get to the point in the night when the alcohol Soju comes out it means you are ready to go to bed together. Soju is a pretty strong rice wine that if consumed at the end of the night obliterates any left over resistance. I learned this on the streets of Seoul and I am sure it does not apply everywhere.

I think this is more of a habit than something premeditated. That guy at the party may not just be trying to get you drunk but he knows deep down that he has had more success with alcohol around than not. Take the drink and say, “are you trying to get me drunk??”

Inappropriate significant other sharing

“Yeah my boyfriend is in the marines he is 6’5” 250 lbs.” Men will do this as well. “I have been dating the same girl for years she really is amazing, beautiful, editor of a famous magazine, she even slept with Brad Pitt when he was drunk in Vegas!” 90% of the time this just what it is, someone sharing about their significant others. That is innocent, however when it is coupled with a few other signs you might want to be suspicions.

The reason people do this is the same reason they might tell a friend they have just eaten when invited out for dinner. They really do want to eat but they are trying to sabotage their own interests. They figure if they can get that statement blurted out fast enough they will put some magic sexual force field between them and the guy they want to devour.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sarah July 8, 2009 at 7:14 am

The first one *does* seem like a no-brainer, but man do I get in trouble with this one!!!! Mostly because I’m completely clueless and fail to recognize the signal for what it is, even though I should know better. But also because after living in Spain–where people actually *look* at other people overtly and make plenty of eye contact regardless of interest–I’ve learned to make and hold eye-contact for a much longer period than Americans are used to. I find myself accidentally sending the wrong signal and having to oh-so-gracefully (not!!!) get myself out of situations–things usually start getting awkward in an interesting conversation about the time I mention my husband in passing and then it dawns on me that someone thinks I’m going somewhere else with things (insert dope-slap here). Or conversely, I wind up misunderstanding someone else’s eye gaze. Oops!

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2 Mike Masters July 8, 2009 at 8:25 am

Is that why you always get so flirty around me? I was only looking at your, what is your gravitar again?
Living in Asia the signals were so confusing! Actually lack of signals. I really had no idea if a girl was interested in me or not. It certainly thickened my skin when rejection and acceptance were almost a gamble!
Funny how signals of attraction are so different culturally.


3 Sarah July 8, 2009 at 9:06 am

What, you mean you weren’t flirting with me either?!?!? Damn–I misread the signal again! And here I thought we had something…. *sigh*

And yes, cultural differences can really mess with your hed–it took me months to learn not to squirm under Spaniards’ direct gazes. And it didn’t any help that those people are just too damn beautiful for anyone’s good or peace of mind. Puts an odd-ling like me in a tail spin! But I did learn and adapt and that frank gaze became part of who I am now.

FYI, That’s one of my cats. She’s much prettier than I am and not at all impressed by flirting. Wise creature…

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