LOVE the Dangerous girl!!
You know that person, the one who is branded to your mind? The one that maddens you STILL with lust, confuses you with passion and has been under your skin for years or even decades. What was it about them? What made them stand out?
Psychos are my hobby
I know my addictions pretty well and just like I have a rule to limit my drinking, I have strict boundaries to limit the crazies. But why? Why, tightrope over the crocodile pit? Because it is fun!! The crazies are erratic, so passionate, stuffed with emotion often exploding in dangerous directions. Dating someone like this puts me at my ultimate guard, taming the tiger with only a whip and a chair.
“The opposite of happiness is boredom, and that which really drives our happiness is the ability to find continual excitement.” – Tim Ferris The four hour work week
When in Michigan I used to blog at a wonderful little mom and pops coffee shop. Until, it went bankrupt shortly after I arrived. Bummer… there were no other coffee shops around so I ended up working at a café in a local Indian casino, not my favorite because I despise gambling. Walking around the casino was heart breaking, not one smiling face. I felt sick while watching a woman in a wheel chair turn off her oxygen to light up a camel. Ding ding ding ding… Everyone looked over as a machine started to pay out and I saw my first smile of the day, a dentally challenged woman wearing a faded sky blue muumuu.
Rat Gambling
Random vs predictable in Rat addiction
I remember learning about rat addiction while studying for my masters in Nutrition. The lab, was a demonic hell for small critters and I a research Nazi gluing printer jacks to rat heads, or injecting fluids into javelined shunts directly to their little brains. While torturing rats for science, I observed many other cruel experiments. One of the nicer experiments being a replicated study on addiction, If I remember right it was pretty simple: a rat would push on a bar a number of times and receive a food treat. The only variable would be predictable or random distribution. In other words in the predictable cage, rats pushed on the bar 10 times and got a treat. In the random cage, it was erratic paying out to the same degree but with no pattern.
Now look at the chart, do you see? Look at how random reward leads to rats continually pumping the food bar. Predictable on the other hand has dips in activty and appears to be driven more by hunger. Which test group would you imagine to become obese?
Boredom is the enemy
Why is it that the rats are so addicted to random reward rather than predictable? Why would they frantically jump on the food bar over and over and over, looking remarkably like gamblers minus the cigarettes. Why? So bloody simple! It is because it is more interesting when you don’t know the outcome. Why is it that men love bitches? Because they are unpredictable and keep us excited. Why is it that you love the asshole? Because he is random and keeps you stimulated.
“Romance is the art of spontaneity” – not sure how this fits in but I like the quote
I mentioned before that I get a kick out of the psychos but this isn’t my primary focus. They are simply entertainment, they are my large double topping, meat lovers pizza dipped in mayo, but as much as I like this diet it can only be consumed periodically. So what is the point? Why play with fire?
Now, I would certainly love to blow sunshine and kumbya up your ass like most relationship “experts” but life isn’t that simple. We are animals, with animal drives and animal needs. As hard as we might try, or as disciplined as we might be, it simply won’t work because our animal nature will kick us in the reproductive glans and do what it wants anyway. This is why we must meet the animal mind half way, we must meet it’s needs to a degree in order to get what we want as well. This means that sometimes that quart of Ben and Jerrys is acceptable! So stop beating yourself up over it.
What’s the point?
Okay as usual I am rambling and not tying up my points in clean little Japanese boxes. Too bad, use your brain a little bit. Enjoy the fact that I am not giving you an easy answer or a predictable reward. You tell ME what the point is.
- Date psychos
- Eat meat lovers pizza with mayo
- Buy some sunshine flavored kumbya suppositories
- Be aware that unpredictability is an extremely attractive trait. One that can lead to negative addictive desires or be used as a tool to understand your attraction. Possibly one can flirt with this limit and ID positive versions of this trait in a partner and model them in ourselves to increase our attractiveness.
I am going to go with number 3.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
My God, I love crazy broads and bad girls. Even that does get old though, and you start to wake up every day thinking, “I wonder what innocuous comment/action will set her off today?”
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Oh man… I know what you mean. Just saw an incredibly hot girl sprinkled with tatoos and I thought, “she looks fucked up” and my eyes glazed with desire.
But like you said it does get old, my habit it too keep these people at arms length. I never let them get too close to do any damage.
Isn’t there like a middle ground of someone exciting but not certifiable? The crazies just wear me out!
Lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Waiting
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Of course, of course. The point is that you know what you turns your crank and by knowing this you can choose the health food with some appropriate “badness” rather than indulging heavily in garbage.
The other point is that keeping your target off balance is a huge in your favor. The bitch does it naturally because emotions are chaotic but one can create unpredictability and radically change attraction.
Very true. This is why I am big into being “predictably unpredictable.” You’ve got to create excitement without making the man think you’re truly nuts. It’s an art, really.
It’s also why I am attracted to “free spirits” who like to suddenly up and move across the country. Or the world…
Miss Alpha´s last blog ..A bad girl’s take on The Rules
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Get a tattoo and maybe I will stay for a little bit longer
Which reminds me, your blogroll still has my old site…
Miss Alpha´s last blog ..A bad girl’s take on The Rules
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fixed, nice to see you using thesis. might switch MD over today?
Oh, Mike, Mike, Mike. I know I’ve got my own “addictions” which you so generously allowed me to guest blog about on this very blog, but I just have one pet peeve I want to air out here:
We are not animals. We are not rats or chimps or any other animal used in research laboratories.
If we were animals, we would simply change our behavior by treating ourselves the way we treat animals: Reward good behavior with treats and bad behavior with punishment (or ignoring said behavior). But behaviorist methods don’t work and the reason they don’t work is because we must have some cognitive input in our behavior. We must “feel” like what we’re doing is right.
Anyway, I could write a thesis on this and my thoughts here are only simply put so there will be some holes in my 100-word argument.
But the point remains that we have choices. And thank GOD we do. Because the last thing I want is to be with an asshole.
Zoë´s last blog ..The night the ground shook
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We most certainly are animals and ignoring this is why so many people are so unhappy.
We of course have a new operating system, the pre-frontal lobes. However, the old one is still in place and the two constantly butt heads for control.
For example, why does one cheat? Why are men turned on by big dick porn? Why are there bulimics? Why does one masturbate and feel guilty?
All of these are example of the two minds dueling.
Sure the new brain has it’s say. It has a vote but take one more look at people in a casino and you tell me it isn’t appealing to our animal nature rather than our rational one. In fact everything around us does, marketing is one big experiment in how to addict, cajole, manipulate the animal mind and the rational one has no clue it is going on.
I knew I was going about things all wrong…trying to be all “breezy” and “go-with-the-flow” and happy go lucky and calm and all that other bullshit. I’m SURE that’s why the dates aren’t pouring in. While call me Rat Baby because I am about to flip the switch…crazy chick style
PS…my future ex-boyfriends thank you in advance for the summer of their lives and their broken tortured hearts
Something She Dated´s last blog ..Twitter Guy: The Middle Ground Stage
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Torture the bastards! they will love you for it.
Sucks but true.
fabulous post, Mikey. Although you make it sound as if being a little nutty is a game or a choice. I think of it more as a natural outpost of a personality ruled by a combination of intense creativity and intelligence and that is the real attraction.
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It is a choice to be unpredictable to a certain degree.
and don’t explain yourself like that! we both know the truth, you are as nutty as squirrel poo.
I think you’re the psycho. Remind me to kick you the next time I see you.
MissMelisaMae´s last blog ..Mr. Perfect
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Shut up, you don’t know me.
I wish I didn’t.
MissMelisaMae´s last blog ..Mr. Perfect
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Well, I would be lying if I said I’ve never gone straight up psycho on a dude’s ass before, hey..it happens but I have a craving for psychos myself. It’s like a rush, a ping, stimulation, the ‘unknown’, inability to predict, ahhh, the chaos.
I have noticed that all of my high chemistry and highly sexual relationships have always been with toxic psychos. Basically, high chemistry with great booty=toxicity eventually. Of course, this isn’t true for some people but it’s def. true for me.
I think, for me, it goes pretty deep as in me replaying some sort of inner child bullshit and trying to get it right…reliving it and trying to make it right with each dude. Does this make sense? For example: All of the high toxic ones are all like my father. They lack affection, attention, emotion, encouragement. Naturally, any sane being would run but I am drawn to them and doesn’t it make you sick that I actually seek approval from them, which allows me to stay in a psychotic relationship even longer.
It’s the typical ‘daddy’ bullshit. I continue to relive this scenario over and again, trying to make it right, looking for approval- not me, but the stupid inner child. This is some deep shit, maybe I should have just said “Psychos are fun” lol.
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I’m going with number 3, too, but that’s really just because I hate mayo
xxoo
Lucky Girl´s last blog ..Rant
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I’m terribly, terribly boring. It dooms me to spinsterhood.
Man-shopper´s last blog ..Ms. First Date Slut
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We all have a little of that psycho in us, some just use it more than others, it’s a gal thingy.
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its like evel knievel jumping over 15 busses you hit the ramp at 100 mph fly through the air above it all the wind in your hair defying the laws of nature and death and you land perfectly on the other end ……… but sometimes you crash and burn and it really messes you up big time , thats why i date psychos , always dust myself off and get on that bike again , may next time ill jump over six running helicopters !!
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Nice Rob, I know the feeling.
presently im crashing and burning !!! and dang its a caesars palace crash , you ever seen that jump ? you tube it its amazing the guy survived
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