Repet after me, "I LOVE GAMES"
What is the dig?
The dig is very simple, it is a challenge, a crossing of wits, a signal that the game is on. A place where the mind is the focus of attraction rather than the body.
What the dig is not
The dig is not abuse or cruelty, although it flirts with it. It is not about winning or crushing your opponent. It simply is the start of a simple tennis match of wit.
Why use the dig?
The dig is the fastest filter I know. What I mean by this is that I can find out in a under a minute if this girl is worth pursuing. While at that same time I can generate attraction by creating tension and challenge.
Being prepared for the dig
If I meet a pretty girl, chances are I am going to hit her with a dig. I want to find out as quickly as I can if she can hang or not. If she can’t hang she immediately gets downgraded from relationship material to sex only. This is why it is very important that you understand the dig for what it is. It is not a trick to take away someones ego in order to force attraction (although this works) Rather, it is a literal relationship fencing sword, challenging you to a dual of compatibility. If you can’t parry his wit back he will consider you only a pin cushion for his sword.
When to use the dig?
The dig is an excellent tool for both sexes since it shows interest in a challenging way that negates any neediness! (This is huge for the girl showing interest in a guy but doesn’t desire to chase) The dig is an excellent way to open a conversation online, while you gently bust on his profile. It is a great way to break into conversation with anyone in any situation and start from a place of power, rather than a place of need which a normal approach often creates. A dig done right with the right person can get you in the door of attraction faster than anything else I know.
What is the dig again?
The dig can appear in a few forms (but I am sure there are more):
1. A direct challenge – This is simply challenging something about the other person that is funny and/or mildly abrasive.
I recently met a girl in a bar, in a small city, in the middle of nowhere and we started talking. She surprisingly was excellent at digs and forced me to pull out the big guns. I looked at her “Are you from here?” (meaning the po-dunk town) She squinted her eyes, sensing something coming, “Yeesss…” I smiled evilly and replied, “So… how many kids you got?” She turned beat red and pursed her lips together, “Two!!” She punched me in the arm and it was on!
I met a my mother’s neighbor a few weeks ago and she had a mild scent of alcohol coming from her. Since she was adorable I went for it, “Wow… Nice liquor breath! Already drinking at 2 in the afternoon.” She blushed and I took the first point.
2. The backhanded complement
I love this because it is confusing and difficult to return. Kinda like throwing a curve ball, the batter needs to be pretty sharp to pick it up. One of my favorite digs is, “You’re really hot, If I were drunk I would totally sleep with you”
I don’t really like to recycle content, I far prefer to being creative on the fly. This is a lot more authentic and even in messing it up can be fun.
I love digging one of my friends in So Cal when I go home. She is an adorable swimsuit model that weighs 100 lbs. “Kim!! Hey… so good to see you again, you look amazing… but unfortunately… (deep sigh) Skeletor called me and said he wants his ass back” (She doesn’t have a Skeletor ass) “Whatever asshole, you wish you could get your hands on this,” I give her a confused raised eyebrow look, “Seriously? Ghandi might be down with hittin’ that but I need a little more meat” SCORE!!! 2 points Mike, Kim -1
3. Calling bullshit
This category is related to challenge but it is far more intelligent if done right. Calling bullshit is when you nail someone in a contradiction or you second guess their meanings. For example, I used my favorite reverse compliment on a girl once, “You’re pretty cute, I would totally sleep with you if I were drunk.” She rolls her eyes, “So how many times have you said that one before…?” My slight hesitation resulted in her scoring a point while I faltered in her correctness.
After talking to a girl for a little while she said to me, “You are potentially very yummy.” I stopped and smiled at the other end of the phone, let me translate, “I would absolutely love to jump your bones if I knew whether or not you would commit to me, and the answer is probably not.” The other end of the phone was silent while I heard the HUGE ding of a Family Feud point scored. “DING, DING, DING!!!”
Use the dig, get good at the dig but never forget:
YOU NEVER DIG ON A TRUE INSECURITY
CRUELTY NEVER BELONGS IN THE DIG
THE GOAL IS TO PLAY NOT TO DESTROY
Want to really watch dig masters in action? Watch gay men, they speak dig better than I speak Japanese.
Still confused? Here are some simple examples of the dig:
- You are cute but waaayyy too young for me! (put the insecurity about age on their side not yours!)
- Is that your real hair?
- You got something on your face.
- My friend likes guys like you, I’m not so into it but…
- You remind me of my younger brother, just not as sweet.
- Come on, I know you are wittier than that.
- Are you using pick-up lines with me? (say very serious and keep a strait face)
- You talk about your penis a lot, is this a source of insecurity?
- I think you are very attractive for a white guy.
Note to men: If you are new at the dig don’t say anything sexual! and be aware women are far more sensitive than men about appearance.
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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
I also use it as a filter. If I give a dig and immediately the guy gets disgruntled and thinks I’m a bitch, then I move on. He doesn’t get it or understand how the dig works.
I am instantly attracted to any guy who can dish it as well as I can.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..You’ll Come Out of Nowhere and Into My Life
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DD gets it!
If the opposite sex does not get your dig all it means is that they are not compatible with you. This is the venue for assessing compatibility and if he doesn’t get it, he probably is a moron…
Awe man, I am such a sucker for a Dig Repartee, it is not even funny. If a guy can keep it up for an entire conversation, I may consider having their children. LOL–>at myself.
lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Old Git, Date 2
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Well it is a good thing I am fixed.
Geez Mike, ego much?
Lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Old Git, Date 2
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Huge ego!
but you know that.
Mike Masters´s last blog ..How to use a DIG to create massive attraction
you don’t need to bring any children into your life!!
(This is my evil, computer illiterate step mother, she doesn’t realize that I know where comments come from. Isn’t she sweet? I should have saved all the comments she has posted on my site. Feel free to click on her name to visit her facebook page.)
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Okay, I get it, this is what I call flirting… when I hear ‘game’ I think of lying… but this is just fun!(with the right person)
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Yup it really is just flirting and most of us do it. However I think it is something that you can get better at with just a couple of tweaks.
Intelligence is sexy!
“…he will consider you only a pin cushion for his sword.”
Love it! Great writing, Mike!
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I thought that was kinda funny too!
Haha that’s great!
I’m terrible at the dig. I mean, I’m great with my friends and stuff, but I don’t actually like that kind of verbal sparring from men (that is, men I’m interested in dating). I just feel uncomfortable with it. I usually give them the big puppy dog “I’m cute and deserve to be cuddled and spoiled not teased!” eyes, which is my own way of setting boundaries I guess. Or if I’m not interested, I just give them a look as if they were speaking to me in a foreign language and then turn and walk away… But that’s another story!
PrincessT´s last blog ..Friends with Benefits
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It is very important to communicate intelligence with the opposite sex since that is a huge part of attraction.
This is why encourage the dig.
Why do you feel uncomfortable with it?
I think I’m just misunderstanding the whole ‘dig’ concept. I’m good with flirtations, but I don’t find it attractive when a guy sort of makes fun of me as a way of showing interest. We’re not in grade school anymore! To me, it just seems like he’s too insecure to just say ‘I couldn’t help noticing how beautiful you are…’ Now THAT’S my idea of a pick up line. No curves balls necessary!*
*pick up line only effective when delivered by equally beautiful man…
PrincessT´s last blog ..Friends with Benefits
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Actually, now that I think about it, a really beautiful man could probably get away with a dig… So… wait… there’s a correlation between attractiveness and how far you can go with a dig… interesting! I will be testing this theory out on the weekend.
PrincessT´s last blog ..Friends with Benefits
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an absolute direct correlation!
However, a less attractive man or woman, if intelligent with their digs rather than mean, can get very far!
I don’t think mean digs are appropriate at all, this is a game of skill, not of destruction of the others ego. Or like NN mentioned before a game you are trying to win.
You don’t want to win! you only want to see if the other person has enough of a game to hang.
You mentioned that you don’t like a guy making fun of you, that is not what I mean, and if a guy does that you are allow to bust back even harder or walk away like I did with the girl at the bar from the last post.
The dig is everywhere, I have even had my Dad’s preacher pull it on me. It was a funny dig and I responded by telling him, “I can’t wait to introduce my gay lover to such a funny pastor.”
He blanched…
Oh, I see… so I’m probably already using “digs” with men just by being naturally playful and flirtatious, without really thinking about it… and see now I’m going to think about it and probably fall on my face because I’m trying too hard. I’m not really good at trying hard. I just go with what comes naturally, and I think that, possibly, people have their own different styles of using these digs… right, hence compatibility (it’s all making sense now)… because I’m more or less a serious person most of the time and wouldn’t want to be with someone who (as we say here in Australia) is always taking the piss out of me… wow Mike, you are a genius!
PrincessT´s last blog ..Friends with Benefits
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Oh, you call it dig?
You dig yourself way too much, as you dig a ditch to yourself where you fall.
Honestly..
Digs are cheap, doesn’t take much effort. Anyway, I like men who are fluent with words, but I find digs are sign of dogs. I admire those who can be playful and positive without needing to evaluate others by pushing them. By needling he shows that he has an ego problem – he thinks he has value, which he needs to confirm by finding a partner who is as “good” as he thinks he is.
I read this book – Happier by Tal-Ben Shahar – he had good points about how to become happier in life. He also refered to “Passionate marriage” by David Schanarch where he maintained that true closeness can be achieved only when barycenter isn’t the desire to seek for confirmation to oneself but the need to help the partner to know him/herself better.
In what way you are promoting that in those whom you needle with your digs?
I’m used to giving as well as I get (working at the male dominated field). I don’t like find that character flaw in myself and I wouldn’t choose a partner who brings that up in me.
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ah… the typical response.
the dig is just a playful stepping stone not something that you carry into the relationship permanently.
Typical?
Well.. thank you, kind sir. That is a compliment tome coming after what you wrote before.
………….
I may pass judgement lightly – but then again, so do you (when you make up your mind that that girl is just for sex)
And you are showing by example how you behave.. and I don’t see a guy like that after that.
I just don’t take seriously those who use digs – probably because I equal it to mean-spiritness – but I like positive flirting, when jokes are not at someones expense.
Too bad that those male positive teasers are rare, since most men are raised up counting points, because winning is important to them..
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You completely misunderstand this post and me.
If you don’t like to play, don’t play
if you don’t like my site, don’t read
Sorry, I haven’t thumbed up any of the posts – nor do I remember that I would have thumbed down any of them.
Like I said I like your posts on the whole.. but there I disagree what is attractive from opposite sex. I was critical of your post, and explained why.. and you didn’t like that, declaring it “typical reaction”. That is as “typical” as the fact you disliked my sarcastic comment about being complimented.
To summon this up, what you missed from my post:
Your “digs” are just sarcasm in an other form, and being target of someone’s cheap spiritness is never attractive, unless target has a need in ego to win over every man/woman who comes along.
Digs is a cheap version, and they don’t work if you want positive chemistry to feed a potential love relationship instead of just competitive spirits to feed of a good f*ck.
Like I said, I prefer good natured teasing at no-ones expense.. that is the best way to tickle my funny bone =), and that is good chemistry.
Most of the time I like to read what you write..
When I don’t, I do critic it.. you don’t have to answer if you don’t like the criticism.
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“Like I said, I prefer good natured teasing at no-ones expense.. that is the best way to tickle my funny bone =), and that is good chemistry.”
Ah… that is exactly what I explain a dig as being.
And not only that, this post is written for women. Why is this making you so concerned?
Read a little of what the other women wrote above. They get it.
But I think that is the point. If a guy playfully teases you (not in a way that is mean, but rather in a witty, light-hearted fashion), and you won’t or can’t respond in kind, you’re probably not going to end up being compatible. It’s a method of weeding out potential love interests who will foster an imbalanced relationship.
I also disagree that the “dig” doesn’t take much effort. It’s a skill to be honed.
You also shouldn’t take it as a replacement for kindness and affection. The point is, I think, to SUPPLEMENT other ways of showing affection/attraction with a bit of wit, humor, and intelligence. If it’s all just sappiness and cheesy pick-up lines (“hey, you’re the prettiest girl in here”), boredom sets in quickly.
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I agree Bret
To be good at the dig the levels of play are limitless but to just start is as easy as opening your mouth
Hey I like being told I’m the prettiest girl – I appreciate that sort of honestly
But seriously, women do need complements like they need oxygen, so sometimes a genuine complement without any witty banter is also appreciated.
PrincessT´s last blog ..Friends with Benefits
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PT
You are the prettiest girl I’ve never met.
Now when are you going to show the world who you are??
-NN- oh… and there are a lot of other posts, maybe you can thumbs down all the comments there too?
And if you wonder my grammar mistakes, english is not my native language, and I don’t use it daily… but I get by.
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no, you were well spoken
What a polemic topic Mr … LOL!
I just realized that the guy I am flirting with got my attention by using smart DIGs and I just realized it now =)
beijo!
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ok, that’s what happens when u re write the message and don’t check it before posting…damn! =(
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No… it’s cool Rach! the word “polemic” sounds like you know something the rest of us don’t.
I can edit whatever you post so FB me or tell me here.
What was the 3rd option in your digs? Calling bs.. =D
So what if it works on men?
Who cares, as I don’t want to approach men who don’t do the job themselves, so few of men are that attractive that I remember seeing them 2 minutes later.
Different ways for different people, good that you have such a quick way to defining who is interesting – so do I.
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Yet another great post!
Any advice on digs in a cross-cultural context? I’m thinking that part of my problem is that Frenchmen and I experience some fundamental misunderstandings when trying to exchange digs. French girls don’t really use the dig as a tool, so I think that I come across as brassy and borderline offensive when I do use it. But when I don’t, I’m boring. I can’t win! I don’t have any problem with the language, so do you think that perhaps the dig doesn’t translate to non-Anglophone cultures?
Man-shopper´s last blog ..Messrs. Tweedledum, Tweedledee, and Tweedledimwit
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You got my point too =).. it might be a language thing, but what he advices sounds just bitchy, when used in my language.
(Like singing about falling love sounds so corny that people use that to make jokes =D)
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Could it be a personality thing?
While culture and our upbringing do have some influence on our attitude towards relationships (and everything else in life), I think the dig is more personality- or character-driven rather than culture-driven. I’m certain there is at least one Frenchman out there who appreciates digs and is equally good at returning them; likewise, probably not all Anglophones get the dig.
I don’t see the dig as an advocate for bitchiness – it’s about creating positive tension via non-degrading banters – which is not different from NN’s idea of “good natured teasing at no-ones expense.” The dig is a form of flirtation that probably doesnt come naturally to everyone or works for everyone.
I’m not a native speaker of English though i can see how the dig would work in my native tongue. It’s about how you word it and serve it with the right facial expression and gesture. Just off the top of my head, I can think of three different ways to deliver “if i were drunk, i’d sleep with you.” The bitchiness is not in the words, but in how they’re delivered.
::m curtsies::
ps. does the dig only exist in the very early stage of a relationship?
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Could it be a personality thing?
While culture and our upbringing do have some influence on our attitude towards relationships (and everything else in life), I think the dig is more personality- or character-driven rather than culture-driven. I’m certain there is at least one Frenchman out there who appreciates digs and is equally good at returning them; likewise, probably not all Anglophones get the dig.
I don’t see the dig as an advocate for bitchiness – it’s about creating positive tension via non-degrading banters – which is not different from NN’s idea of “good natured teasing at no-ones expense.” The dig is a form of flirtation that probably doesnt come naturally to everyone or works for everyone.
I’m not a native speaker of English though i can see how the dig would work in my native tongue. It’s about how you word it and serve it with the right facial expression and gesture. Just off the top of my head, I can think of three different ways to deliver “if i were drunk, i’d sleep with you.” The bitchiness is not in the words, but in how they’re delivered.
::m curtsies::
ps. does the dig only exist in the very early stage of a relationship?
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Why can men and women not just be honest and not play games?
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