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I do think I can be too independent sometimes. I like those words: receptive, inviting, and feminine. I’ve definitely made an effort to dress more feminine, maybe I will take a look at my behavior. Food for thought.

Where are these higher calibre men you speak of?
Lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Beads and other competitions

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I dated this cute little doctor who was also “african american” and I discovered that she felt she needed to prove herself to her colleagues while at work. She’d go to work and would have to be overly assertive, aggressive, and dominant in order to get her job done.

But when she’d hang out with me she wouldn’t know how to turn it off.

This would cause her to challenge me endlessly, almost as if she felt she needed to stay Masculine and Assertive, instead of relaxing and being more receptive, inviting, and feminine. As she got to know me better she eventually learned to trust my Masculine energy, which helped her relax… but I’m likely more patient than most guys.

To answer your question I’d say, “Yes it’s possible, but it’s not the only reason possible.”

If you find that men are easily frightened away every time then perhaps you need to start choosing men of higher calibre?

Thanks for the question.

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Lifebeginsat30ty´s last blog ..Beads and other competitions

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The best cure that I’ve seen (I have some amazingly beautiful female friends) is to first understand the phenomenon, and then to press through it by continuing to build and trust your own worth/value while going that extra mile to build rapport with those you meet. Once you help people put their guard down about you’ll find they act embarrassed they ever misjudged you.

The fastest way to rapport with strangers who may be guarded is through sincerity, honesty, and fun. It’s hard to think of someone as a bitch when she’s sincerely sweet, honest, and fun. Always smile, have inviting body language, and stay approachable.

For example; don’t hang out with three guy friends with your back to the room. This creates a wall of cock-blocks that will prevent most any guy from busting through. Instead have awareness of your body language and force your buddy’s to sit next to you in a way that doesn’t prevent other men from seeing you (smile at them) and from approaching (tell your buddy’s to chat amongst themselves should someone approach.) And, of course, sometimes allow yourself to wander alone giving others an opportunity to say “well hello there.”

Thanks for the comments!

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Princess T´s last blog ..Speed Dating (Part 2) – the dates

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And like Kelly, i watch my guy friends hit on chicks that aren’t as attractive as me or are way sluttier than me or are not even remotely good enough to be with my friends. and I always wonder why I almost never get hit on. Part of it is that i get super-nervous around new people and forget how to smile but i think the other problem is that i’m hanging out with a bunch of guys- I assume other guys are going to think i’m taken (correct?).
Elissa´s last blog ..Overly Protective?

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Hey I would be very interested in your take on why girls shouldn’t ask guys out. I say the same but so few guys admit this that I feel like I am swimming in an ocean of Nay Sayers.
Maybe a short post on this?

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The other day my friend (who is possibly even more gorgeous than me) and I were at a bar, and we “sidled up to the bar next to these two hot guys. I thought perfect – two hot guys, two hot girls… but alas the two hot guys started chatting up two other girls who were not very attractive (and I’m being objective… I swear – they were the opposite of what we’re always told is attractive in a woman. I won’t go into detail but just take every desirable feature in a woman from man’s point of view…. and these girls did NOT have them).

But my favourite part was later when I noticed the two girls buying drinks… for the guys! Those guys were such bitches… I almost admired them for a moment… and it suddenly became clear. It was very obvious to those guys that my friend and I were used to be catered to by men, even when they won’t ask us out… Those girls were easy… and fawned all over those guys in a way I almost found embarrassing.

And I think hot girls have more guy friends because girls get jealous, especially if you’re single and they have boyfriends (http://wp.me/pMQ3J-H). Guys never feel this way (unless they’re gay and somehow fear their boyfriend is closet straight… ), plus the girl enjoys their company because the guy caters to her, and she can have sex with him whenever she wants to. These are usually guys that she’s sort of dated for a while but for whatever reason the relationship part never really took off. So they’ve remained “friends”. It’s a good place warmer until a boyfriend guy comes along. (I’m speaking hypothetically… I swear……………. )
Princess T´s last blog ..Speed Dating (Part 2) – the dates

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I have to admit, it’s frustrating to see my friends going for chunky, annoying girls with no jobs when they could go out with me. Ultimately, the “why the hell am I single?!” mindset is counterproductive. Once you (or I, for that matter) let it all go and quit thinking about it, things will happen naturally.

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