Why can’t girls ask guys out? The three major reason why…
But, why can't I ask guys out!?
The first time I stumbled upon this question was on the youthfully obnoxious website, girlaskguys.com or what I call GAG for short. That particular post is here, What’s wrong with girls asking guys out? If you care to read this incredibly adolescent post go ahead… or I can tell you what I learned from it. (Ironically I might be doing video posts for them, go figure…)
The majority of guys answering this question encouraged most women to, “Just go for it! Ask him out!” I was probably one of the only guys out of 20 that said, “Of course he wants you to ask him out! Its so he doesn’t have to do any work!”
In the last post, Should a girl ask a guy out? 13 answers there was a bit of a split. Some women said they were totally comfortable asking a guy out. Other women said that they were tired of taking on this role because it set the bar for the rest of the relationship. I agree with the later, although I do believe they still were asking men out but in a very subversive way.
What sucks about asking a guy out:
Problem #1 He might go out with you even if he is not that into you.
If a guy asks you out and you are not that into him, you will probably say no. HOWEVER, if a girl asks a guy out and he is not that into her he might still say YES…! (WTF??? WHY??)
Why? Because for a man (not all) sex is the priority, not relationship. This means that if you ask a man out he might say yes simply because he sees some free ass he can tap! He may not be rationally thinking, “Shit she is nasty but what the hell…” well, actually he might be but I would like to give guys the benefit of the doubt.
Problem #2 It is a weak position for a woman to take
Being the one to ask him out immediately makes you weak, but you say,” If he asks me out doesn’t that put him in the same position?” Sometimes, but usually NO, instinctually the guy knows that it is his job to ask you out and he has far less to lose doing so. All guys know deep down that the girl asking him out is not playing the female role and only a REALLY interested girl would do this. You just showed him your poker hand and you will surely lose the game.
Problem #3 This is the guys job!
Many of you say something like, “I guess I am just old fashioned, I like guys to ask me out.” So what does this mean? Is “the modern” woman going to evolve to the point of getting drunk and sexually harassing some guy at a bar? “No, stop! Don’t touch me there!” I can’t imagine this is coming but I can dream…
The reason this is the guys job is because it is necessary for him to show his sincerity and true interest by running the risk of rejection. This is not the girl’s job and as long as guys stay sexually driven (not relationship) this will remain.
I know the three points here kind over overlapped but if you take any message home it is this:
A guy might say yes to a girl asking them out for the opportunity to have sex with her, and possibly NOTHING more.
The next post I will contradict myself, since it is totally possible to ask a guy out as long as it is done in the right way!
Protect the vag ladies!
Related posts:
- Video blog! Why girls should never ask guys out This is a Vlogg for the website luvemorleavem.com Make...
- Why guys say stupid things to girls Guys are a little bit lame “Damn it Mike!!” said...
- How to ask a guy out – what you don’t understand… The last few posts I ranted that you should never...
- I want to ask this guy out but… Question from a reader i am having problem after...
- I told him how many guys, now I am slut!? I feel like a slut now! I just got a...
Hey Mike,
Thanks for the post—I hate myself for doing this, but I have to agree with you on this one. I’ve asked guys out, and each time, even though it might have scored me a few dates, the “relationships” ended quickly and abruptly. If a guy is interested, he will let you know. If you go chasing him, it shows a bit of desperation. (I sound like an ad for the 1950’s.) I’m all for equality when it comes to dating, but unfortunately it’s still a game to some extent. So, do things to make yourself look more approachable, but don’t do the approaching.
Kelly Seal´s last blog ..“The Rules” revisited? Please say it isn’t so…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You hate to agree with me?
Why??? are my opinions so bad? =)
I wish I read this post prior to New Year’s Eve.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..Guy Freak Out: Why Do Guys Bail?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ha, no it just frustrates me that when it comes to dating, we still have old-fashioned mentalities. It should be that girls can ask guys out no problem, but it doesn’t work. Anyway, thanks for the post.
Kelly Seal´s last blog ..“The Rules” revisited? Please say it isn’t so…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Mike, I hate asking guys out. However, the last three times I’ve been asked out 1) parent of a student I teach, 2) guy who I did say yes to, but who then snorted cocaine (sorry I don’t know all the drug lingo) on the public transportation while sitting next to me at the end of the night, 3) a blind guy at applebee’s who kept insisting I was SO beautiful even though my back was to him. I guess I have a beautiful back. I get asked out out losers, so I like to be in control and do the asking out. But you have an interesting point.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Lynn, your problem is very simple
You are not advertising, that is why losers are asking you out. If you don’t advertise well know one will come forward!
So did you go out with any of these guys? Blow the guy doing blow?
Wait, I have to advertise? This may be my entire problem dating. So how do i do this properly? Cause being hot obviously isn’t working for me.
Elissa´s last blog ..My Own Worst Enemy
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Of course you have to advertise!
How do you do it? Wow… got a few hours?
Dude, I could not agree more for the same reasons. I say it now and I’ve been saying it forever.
If a guy wants to date you, he WILL find a way to ask you out. Period.
QTMama´s last blog ..The Water Pipe vs QT
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Nice, I like to be on your good side… =)
I have a question for you! If you’ve been emailing a dude online for awhile and he hasn’t asked you out yet, is there a good way to give a nudge indicating i’m interested in meeting up? I don’t want to ignore his emails and blow him off, but i’m losing interest b/c he hasn’t asked me to meet in person. Ideas?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
what do you think of asking out a guy you’ve been emailing online? we’ve been emailing for a couple of weeks and he hasn’t suggested meeting. i don’t want to blow him off, i enjoy his emails, but i’m not looking for a pen pal so i’m not sure how to move things forward without directly asking him out. any ideas?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i didn’t mean to send repetive comments :S my computer is acting bizarre today. sorry.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Mike,
Love the site! A little harsh but it’s good to know. Here’s
a lesson learned:
A guy at a local store who I thought was intersted
(because we shared some good laughs and pleasant conversations)
suddenly got transferred. So I did the silly thing of
tracking him down, calling the store and having him call me back.
He texted back. Asked me for ‘coffee sometime’. But then I think I sent
too many texts and ended up confusing him. He said so.
His last text was “i’ve just been busy”.
And so, it seems like he retracted his offer for ‘coffee’.
It’s been a week, haven’t text him back. Can they do that?
Why?
I really liked him. Rather that men say, “I’m not intersted”
rather than say, “I’m busy”. Why can’t men just do that?
Women can take rejection.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Everyone is afraid, girls, guys, my cat!
He did tell you he wasn’t interested, why do you need to hear him say it “clearly”?
If you want to get him back, no texting/contact for two weeks. Then send him a quiet text like, “Sorry I haven’t text you in a while… family trouble.” Something like that. Make it as if it were your problem, not his.
He will most likely respond. However I would still read my book on texting which really kicks ass!