My girlfriends and I have a running debate over which super power would be the best. Currently, teleportation has taken the lead. Most of my friends are working mothers who juggle three dozen errands, board room schedules and manage to shave their legs before crawling into bed. Being able to scream, “Beam me up, Scottie!” does sound alluring when your responsibilities include soccer carpool.
I’d like to be able to fly. I’d also like to be able to read minds, at times. I’d love to have a photographic memory, or be one of those savants that can pick up languages sin problema. I’d also really like to get big and green and scary when provoked on certain occasions (most of which happen when driving, or at the DMV)
However, the most alluring would be to have cupid’s power – to look at a man just so and have him fall head-over-heels, tumbling punch drunk in love. Who hasn’t wondered how different life might be if that one guy or girl had done just that? I have to admit; lately I’ve spent a bit too much time wondering how to perfect the quiver of Cupid’s bow, so to speak.
This may seem like a selfish super power, but like my superheroes before me, I’d promise to take an oath of remaining thin enough to wear spandex in a pinch and use my abilities for good. Let’s be honest – do you really think Zimbabwe’s Mugabe would have time to starve his people if he were busy planting rose gardens for moi? Or Ahmadinejad would be so wrapped up in creating Iranian nukes when he could just be wrapped up? Granted, naked time with any of the world’s most powerful lunatics (See: Kim Jong Il, Dick Cheney, Fidel Castro, Tiger Woods) sound about as much fun as actually getting shot in the ass by a bow and arrow, it would be fun to see those who have caused so much pain brought into the grips of heartache by power of love.
There is no pain greater, nor power stronger.
He’s tall, athletic, sweet, has a great relationship with his family and has been my friend for more than a year. It has taken me far too long to open my eyes to his charm – perhaps too long. He’s quickly fallen into the category of men I like to label, “can’t get his attention if I’m naked and on fire” – which in his case probably isn’t true. He’d put out the flames and then try to pretend it never happened for my pride. Alas, this Christmas I’m standing under the mistletoe alone hoping one of the gifts under the tree is an archery set.
Here’s to each of us discovering our inner super powers in 2010.
~Kelli
Guest writer and author of africankelli.com
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Naked and on fire huh?
That’s kinda hot…
I definitely hope cupid has something in store for me in 2010 and rather sooner than later.
Shannon Nelson´s last blog ..A Girl’s Gotta Spa! Recent Press
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is no doubt 2010 has tons of great things in store for you guy wise.
You are such a pessimist!
Oh so you are coming to PA then? I had no idea you were making travel plans out my way.
ha!
Shannon Nelson´s last blog ..Philip B. Russian Amber Shampoo
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Kelli,
I hate to say it, but I think you’re doing it wrong.
Did oyu ever see thoe makeovers in the magazines? Some frumpy looking housefrau gets a hedge trim and an artful pain job (and gets in shape, if it’s a major overhaul) and she turns out a man killer!
I personally think that any woman can turn up her cupid power to make men stupid (that is, in a funway!) by getting some honest feedback and a serious makeover. Visuals are so important to guys. (Not to ignore how you live your own life to be your own self too, but that’s another topic.)
Case in point: When I was in coleege, I was pretty much flat as a board, but I took care to dress cute when I went out One of the best looks for me was completely off-the-shoulder. So one night, I wore a top like that, some flowy pants, and an orchid on a ribbon around my neck to a dance in my dorm. I didn’t meet anyone until the very end. First, I found myself alone in the room with the guy who was re-assembling a bunch of folding chairs. I turned around, and when our eyes met, I decided to just keep mine locked on him – for fun. The poor guy stumbled over backwards, and a bunch of chairs crashed down all around him.
Then, I went out in to the hallwayy, which was packed like a trffic jam, with peoople flowing thick in traffic. Acroos all those lanes of people, I noticed super cute blond guy. Again, our eyes just met, and he pushed and plowed his way through all those people to meet me where I stood. I hadn’t moved at all. We dated for a few months after that.
So my point is, prepare yourself for the battle you want to win. Know your assets. Play them up. Minimize your flaws. Have the right attitude, and have the right kind of balls for your game. Play to win!
Good luck!
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
My God. So, I’m supposed to wear cute shoes and an off the shoulder top to attract a man? This is what we can come up with?
I don’t have the energy to come up with something creative or clever in response. But know this — my looks are most certainly not standing in the way of finding romance.
Like or Dislike:
1 
1