Yes, I am ashamed to say I like anime
The six keys to finding and keeping your soul mate. Today we will address the foundation of it all – Power Balance
- Power balance
- Feminine vs masculine
- Logical vs creative
- The archetypes
- Compensating for power shifts
- Mental stability and unhealthy attraction
I have talked about power balance many times but I doubt my readers understand how crucial this is for finding your soulmate. I have only ever heard myself discuss this topic and to my bewilderment is skipped over by nearly all relationship experts.
I would go as far as to say that a lack of power balance in ANY relationship signals it’s doom. Even a same sex friendships can suffer at the hands of one or the other gaining too much power. Once the balance has shifted it usually keeps sliding until one partner has all of the power and the relationship either terminates or falls into abuse. Abuse will enter the relationship when one partner cannot escape and they lash out in frustration and disgust. Power balance and the maintenance of it is SOOOOO important that NO relationship can last in its violation.
Power balance is the bedrock of any relationship foundation, without which nothing productive can be built.
Jill has too much power
Is Jill a slut?
When Jack met Jill he was instantly smitten and even though Jill was a little out of his league he went for her. He finally wore her down and to Jill’s surprise they got along. Although Jill always felt a little uneasy around Jack because he adored her a little too much but she swallowed these feelings since she was so tired of all the shitty guys out there. It was wonderful just to be loved and to trust. Jill cared for Jack but she never understood why her mind strayed towards Joe at work. He was very similar to Jack but he was better looking and had a powerful sexy personality. One night after work she had a couple of drinks with coworkers and somehow she found herself alone with Joe.
Two hours later she called her husband to say she was too drunk to drive and she was staying at a friend’s house.
The sex was amazing with Joe and their affair continued for months until she finally left Jack for Joe.
Joe has too much power
Joe was pretty attracted to Jill, she was the type of girl he liked to date and because she was unavailable and she seemed very strong. The affair was incredibly exciting and Joe felt he was falling in love with Jill. When she finally left Jack for him he was ecstatic and he insisted that she move into his place immediately. It only took about a week before Joe realized he made a mistake. Jill became extremely clingy and outrageously jealous with his time, something she never did with Jack. Jill also pressured Joe about marriage since she felt so insecure about her position in Joe’s life. Little did she know this repelled Joe and after only a few months Jill and Joe had a huge fight which led to Jill leaving him to move in with her sister.
Jack and Jill and Joe and Jill were decent personality matches but the power balance was WRONG. Jill should never have sacrificed a lack of attraction for greater stability. This sacrifice led to her behaving in a way that she was shocked at.
Joe was attracted to Jill mainly because she seemed more powerful as an unobtainable woman. This was instantly extingused the second she moved in and he was stuck with her.
Now Jill is left in a state of humbled self loathing, she thinks she is a horrible person. However, the truth is that she didn’t work with her own needs, she settled for a guy that she was not in balance with TWICE and got bit both times. She is not a bad person she simply could not resist the animal drive of the subconscious that demands we respect the person we are with.
Poor Jack, poor Jill and we thought they only went up the hill to have a little fun…
Continue to the next part in the series, masuline vs feminine
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Well, “Is Jill a slut” definitely got my attention. And hurrah for Venn diagrams!
I feel kind of sad for Joe, too. Why didn’t you feel sad for him? I think he got the short end of the stick, too.
What I missed in this post was how to know if you’ve found the power balance or if someone is playing you? People often start a relationship one way and once they are settled, they change.
Jillian´s last blog ..Drinking and Driving
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I will talk about maintaining power balance later.
I don’t feel bad for Joe at all! He was dishonest and should have been shot by Jack. He deserved things to go to hell, looking for excitement by destroying a relationship?
People really don’t try to play other people! It is that people don’t know how to set boundaries and others walk on them.
So in other words be on your guard, or I WILL play you!
Why do we have to assume Jill was a slut? Unless, because we know you are feminine, Jill is the really the pseudonym for Mike.
I kid! xo
Dating Diva´s last blog ..If He Lets His Friend Grope You, He’s Just Not That Into You
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That’s true, DD. Maybe she was really unhappy and felt like there was no way out. We don’t know what was going on. Things aren’t as easy as they seem.
Jillian´s last blog ..Drinking and Driving
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I didn’t think she was a slut! and I wasn’t Jill however I might have been Joe…
This is so on point.. I’ve experienced this first hand.. almost exactly as “Jill” experienced. Seems to be one of those things that a person must learn through experience, though..
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