25 signs to know, he is NOT into you – part 1

but I thought he was into me?

Okay, I know I am doing a lot of list/funny stuff lately but this one is a request from readers on another website. I promised them I would do this list so here it is!

25 ways to know he is not into you!

1.    Accommodating but not engaging – This is a precursor to a relationship failure.  When you look at his placid smiling face, it is probably just his penis smiling back, he knows he is no longer into you but his sex drive refuses to give up the booty.
2.    Doesn’t reciprocate – I remember once saying, “I love you,” to a girl (I know who would have thought) she hesitated for a second and responding as if talking to an adorable puppy. “ahh… I love you too.” Ouch! I suddenly realized that she had moved on from me. So I stepped on the puppy and broke up with her!
3.    Friends become a greater priority – This one bums me out because often a guy doesn’t know why he is unhappy and he thinks the solution lies with seeing less of you. Granted absence makes the heart grow fond, but jeez, I still can’t stand my obese aunt Connie even after 15 years, maybe we need more time?
4.    Spends more time at work – This is an avoidance tactic like above, he is uncomfortable with you and his subconscious or conscious is creating more work. OR… he is busy Zeroxing his coworkers privates in the coffee room.
5.    He stops listening – He used to like you and he feels a bit indebted since he almost proposed the first week. He still tries to listen but the passion is gone and he wants nothing more than to smack his former self around for committing to you. Save him the effort, do the smacking for him and get out.
6.    Sex starts to dwindle  – This is huge! Even a man has a hard time being genuine with sex if he is not into the girl. If all you get is 30 seconds up against the fridge, once a week, his genitals have finally gotten on board with his head. Of course, it is possible he has gone gay, look for signs of anal leakage in his discarded underwear.
7.    You contact him he doesn’t respond – Major major sign. However, so many girls turn a blind eye to this, thinking for some reason it is normal for you to text/call him 39 times in one day without a response. Stop this now!! but if you want to understand how to get the power back read my book to become badass at texting!
8.    Looks at or talks about other women – To my shame most guys do this, it is inevitable. However, the more he wants to wander mentally the more his eyes follow suit. So if you see him lusting after the waitress with a butt like two little coconuts, you might consider getting implants or getting out.
9.    Makes negative comments about your body/clothes appearance – This generally happens when the honeymoon is over. Reality has hit and if your relationship doesn’t have more than the physical to hold it together, he will attack it. Ironically, even if he looks an fat Oscar the Grouch he will have find the audacity to criticize you.
10.    He is looking for a fight – Once I was unhappily in an average relationship for 8 months, why? Because we never fought about anything, there was no reason to break up! If he is trying to start a fight he very well might be trying to find a reason to get out. Or possibly he is doing steroids or just ran out of meth? (In that case, don’t worry he is still into you)
11.    Hides your tooth brush/earrings/underwear – I used to have a bowl in the kitchen that I would put all the stuff girls left at my house. “Have you seen my earrings,” a girl might ask. Yeah there in the bowl, she would later look at me in horror after she dug through a birds nest of hair ties, toothbrushes, and underwear (sometimes I would add stuff for fun).  If a guy is exclusive with you and has no problem with your presence and he will NEVER be annoyed by all the articles of garbage you shed like hair in his man cave.
12.    Gets secretive with his phone – Possibly he is planning a surprise party for you!!! Or he is slipping the baloney-pony to your best friend? No way to be sure, so I would caulk this up as an indicator only. So, should you search his phone when he is gone? Sure! and after that I hope he really does sleep with your best friend to match your dishonesty!
13.    Multitasks when you are talking –All this means is that you have taken a less important role in his life and he feels that watching porn or solving the newest sudoku puzzle is perfectly acceptable while you blab in the background. Do yourself a favor, blab to your girlfriends ONLY and kick him to the curb because HE IS NOT INTO YOU!

BTW if you would like to read what I thought of the really shitty book He’s just not that into you, click here.

The next 25 reason he may not be into you is continued here

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