Comments on: Does he want me or the ironing board back? http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/ Dating advice for women Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:15:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Natalie http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1485 Natalie Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:31:08 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1485 I looked all over my blog and not a single hint of Spam a la Mike. HMph. (By "Thanks for not being a douche" I just really meant, thanks for not being a douche. I'm sneaky like that.) .-= Natalie´s last blog ..<a href="http://boingerhead.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-kin-cook-steak-and-eggs.html" rel="nofollow">i kin cook: steak and eggs</a> =-. I looked all over my blog and not a single hint of Spam a la Mike. HMph.

(By “Thanks for not being a douche” I just really meant, thanks for not being a douche. I’m sneaky like that.)
Natalie´s last blog ..i kin cook: steak and eggs My ComLuv Profile

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Windyone http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1466 Windyone Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:47:14 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1466 Hi everyone it's Windyone. I just wanted to thank you all for you comments and let you know that I really appreciate it. We woman must stick together and it makes me feel better knowing other woman have been through similar situations and have come out the other side a better person learning from their mistakes. Hi everyone it’s Windyone. I just wanted to thank you all for you comments and let you know that I really appreciate it. We woman must stick together and it makes me feel better knowing other woman have been through similar situations and have come out the other side a better person learning from their mistakes.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Mike Masters http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1465 Mike Masters Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:13:40 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1465 Wow Natalie, Excellent advice to windy. I didn't focus in on what I call the "yeah butts" I agree but... I like myself but... I am glad you picked it up. We are SO influenced by the words we use and negating the positives with the use of butt not only kills forward momentum but it gives the insidious illusion that we are moving forward when we are not. Kinda curious though why Say "thanks for not being a douche" ??? What??? Are you trying to encourage me to be? a challenge like that... Very tempting to flex my douchiness In fact I am going to go spam your blog Wow Natalie,
Excellent advice to windy.
I didn’t focus in on what I call the “yeah butts”
I agree but…
I like myself but…
I am glad you picked it up. We are SO influenced by the words we use and negating the positives with the use of butt not only kills forward momentum but it gives the insidious illusion that we are moving forward when we are not.

Kinda curious though why Say “thanks for not being a douche” ???
What??? Are you trying to encourage me to be? a challenge like that…
Very tempting to flex my douchiness
In fact I am going to go spam your blog

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Natalie http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1464 Natalie Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:44:35 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1464 (thanks for not being a douche, Mike) Dear Windyone, Writing this response to you is kind of like writing a letter to my 20-year-old self. I want to shake you, like I want sometimes to shake the younger me, but I also want to hug you and tell you that you will work the need for guys like Ironing-Board Man out of your system. Like Mike says, you have to constantly be vigilant of your own tendencies to fall back into the same old trap: if you want a fixer-upper, buy an old house. You'll never be "whole" in the sense that I think YOU think "whole" means, but you are obviously a warm, nurturing woman with a lot of love to give. You will find someone who deserves your love and asks for nothing BUT love. The guy sounds like a soul-sucking little boy without a clue. Don't waste your time or the ironing board. One thing I wanted to say again (MIke already pointed it out) is to be wary of the language you use. "Healing" and "dealt with it" and "issues" are negative terms and also, rather dismissive. It's like why I hate the word "but" - it negates whatever follows. "I am over him, but...." "I went to therapy and dealt with it, but...." "I know he's no good for me, but...." You see the pattern? YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT. BELIEVE IT. If you don't, fake it til you make it. My cousin got me a mirror. It had YOU GO GIRL written around it. So small, but every morning I looked in it, read the words, and eventually, I got it. Big hugs. (thanks for not being a douche, Mike)

Dear Windyone,

Writing this response to you is kind of like writing a letter to my 20-year-old self. I want to shake you, like I want sometimes to shake the younger me, but I also want to hug you and tell you that you will work the need for guys like Ironing-Board Man out of your system.

Like Mike says, you have to constantly be vigilant of your own tendencies to fall back into the same old trap: if you want a fixer-upper, buy an old house. You’ll never be “whole” in the sense that I think YOU think “whole” means, but you are obviously a warm, nurturing woman with a lot of love to give. You will find someone who deserves your love and asks for nothing BUT love. The guy sounds like a soul-sucking little boy without a clue. Don’t waste your time or the ironing board.

One thing I wanted to say again (MIke already pointed it out) is to be wary of the language you use. “Healing” and “dealt with it” and “issues” are negative terms and also, rather dismissive. It’s like why I hate the word “but” – it negates whatever follows.

“I am over him, but….”
“I went to therapy and dealt with it, but….”
“I know he’s no good for me, but….”

You see the pattern?

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.

BELIEVE IT.

If you don’t, fake it til you make it. My cousin got me a mirror. It had YOU GO GIRL written around it. So small, but every morning I looked in it, read the words, and eventually, I got it.

Big hugs.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Mike Masters http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1463 Mike Masters Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:42:07 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1463 I am really impressed with women. I can't believe how supportive you are with one another! It is really too bad that men don't have the trait. Ladies thanks for supporting windy and for showing me another reason to think so highly of women. I am really impressed with women. I can’t believe how supportive you are with one another! It is really too bad that men don’t have the trait.
Ladies thanks for supporting windy and for showing me another reason to think so highly of women.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: meg http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1459 meg Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:03:07 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1459 Appropriate, considering I've actually been through a similar dynamic. It's comforting, to a degree, to discover that a lot of women seem to go through the sympathetic concern thing for guys with emotional baggage. Windyone *CAN* do better and I hope she finds someone who is better for her instead of letting that joke of a man back into her like. Good men aren't nonexistent, they're just hard to find. Appropriate, considering I’ve actually been through a similar dynamic. It’s comforting, to a degree, to discover that a lot of women seem to go through the sympathetic concern thing for guys with emotional baggage. Windyone *CAN* do better and I hope she finds someone who is better for her instead of letting that joke of a man back into her like. Good men aren’t nonexistent, they’re just hard to find.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Dating Diva http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1456 Dating Diva Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:45:49 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1456 Well first I can relate to her breaking up then him suddenly asking for an ironing board and how that odd type of communication from him can make her confused. But I think you were right when you told her that he doesn't even know why, but most likely it is because the connection is still there. But regardless that it is a connection at all, it is an unhealthy one, and Windyone should definitely just let it go. How much is an ironing board? $20? He can go buy a new one. It's not worth possibly being roped back into something that is not good for you...or for potentially more heartache. .-= Dating Diva´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.talesfromaninternetdater.com/2009/11/internet-dating-profile-picture-dos.html" rel="nofollow">Internet Dating: Profile Picture Do's & Don'ts</a> =-. Well first I can relate to her breaking up then him suddenly asking for an ironing board and how that odd type of communication from him can make her confused. But I think you were right when you told her that he doesn’t even know why, but most likely it is because the connection is still there. But regardless that it is a connection at all, it is an unhealthy one, and Windyone should definitely just let it go. How much is an ironing board? $20? He can go buy a new one. It’s not worth possibly being roped back into something that is not good for you…or for potentially more heartache.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..Internet Dating: Profile Picture Do’s & Don’ts My ComLuv Profile

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: sarz http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1455 sarz Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:46:46 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1455 Hi windyone (and Mike of course lol), i totally understand what you are saying having been dealing with similar issues on and off most of my life... unlike you i don't have the family abuse situation to explain my behaviour, just an over-active sympathy gland for the "needy" that always works out worse for me than him. I also tend to hang on for longer than is healthy which only makes me feel worse. Remember, think about YOU, what YOU deserve from a guy and don't settle for less nor put yourself through hell for someone who doesn't appreciate you. You deserve better but only you can show him that. There are plenty of way better fish in the sea ☺ And when you’ve let go, continue to be on your guard, cos in my experience, he will want you back and it’s up to you to be strong and keep yourself healthy and happy. It's not easy but it's worth it! Good luck, you'll be fine I reckon x Hi windyone (and Mike of course lol),

i totally understand what you are saying having been dealing with similar issues on and off most of my life… unlike you i don’t have the family abuse situation to explain my behaviour, just an over-active sympathy gland for the “needy” that always works out worse for me than him. I also tend to hang on for longer than is healthy which only makes me feel worse.

Remember, think about YOU, what YOU deserve from a guy and don’t settle for less nor put yourself through hell for someone who doesn’t appreciate you. You deserve better but only you can show him that. There are plenty of way better fish in the sea ☺

And when you’ve let go, continue to be on your guard, cos in my experience, he will want you back and it’s up to you to be strong and keep yourself healthy and happy. It’s not easy but it’s worth it!
Good luck, you’ll be fine I reckon x

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]> By: Betty http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/does-he-want-me/does-he-want-me-or-the-ironing-board-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1454 Betty Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:30:47 +0000 http://www.mikethemasterdater.com/?p=1258#comment-1454 Wow... This article has come in a timely manner, Mike. You remember this boy, my recent breakup? Well, we finally spoke a couple weeks ago, after a two months silence. Of course, I had hopes of coming back, but he didn't. It was a bittersweet chat, which left me hurt because he told me things about myself, things i know are true but I thought he loved me, flaws and all, and now he seemed to have this huge revelation of them as a reason to not come back. It hurt me a lot, but now I'm fine again... Last week he emailed me just to say he had paid the renewal of one of my domains -he's got two of mine, and hosts my sites for free in his server. Althought it was well meant and all -he's a sweet guy- I still felt hurt and upset just by seeing his name on my inbox, y'know? I talked to him for a while, letting him know that I needed his help, that I need to get over him, and I can't do that if he keeps contacting me. He understood and agreed, telling me that would give me ftp access so I could download all my stuff and move to another server (not that he minds, since he gets the server for free at his IT job). He didn't write me afterwards, and I still don't have ftp access. I gave him the chance to cut ALL bonds with me but he hasn't taken it, out of laziness or whatever. Of course, I'm not writing him again, I'm not insisting. He'll send me the ftp access until he finally wants to. I'm getting my life together, studying myself and my childhood traumas, so I can have a better and healthier relationship in the future :) Thank you for your kind advice, Mike! Wow… This article has come in a timely manner, Mike.
You remember this boy, my recent breakup? Well, we finally spoke a couple weeks ago, after a two months silence. Of course, I had hopes of coming back, but he didn’t. It was a bittersweet chat, which left me hurt because he told me things about myself, things i know are true but I thought he loved me, flaws and all, and now he seemed to have this huge revelation of them as a reason to not come back. It hurt me a lot, but now I’m fine again…

Last week he emailed me just to say he had paid the renewal of one of my domains -he’s got two of mine, and hosts my sites for free in his server. Althought it was well meant and all -he’s a sweet guy- I still felt hurt and upset just by seeing his name on my inbox, y’know? I talked to him for a while, letting him know that I needed his help, that I need to get over him, and I can’t do that if he keeps contacting me. He understood and agreed, telling me that would give me ftp access so I could download all my stuff and move to another server (not that he minds, since he gets the server for free at his IT job). He didn’t write me afterwards, and I still don’t have ftp access. I gave him the chance to cut ALL bonds with me but he hasn’t taken it, out of laziness or whatever. Of course, I’m not writing him again, I’m not insisting. He’ll send me the ftp access until he finally wants to.

I’m getting my life together, studying myself and my childhood traumas, so I can have a better and healthier relationship in the future :) Thank you for your kind advice, Mike!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

]]>