There are a few things I know a ton about, one is nutrition and the other is dating. It does not happen very often that something actually changes the way I perceive either subject.
A few years ago I learned about Carl Jung’s 4 relationship types and how understanding them can lead you to your soulmate. It is a challenging concept but so important to your success in relationship I beg you to not to skip this post or the ones following!
This is what I currently teach as fundamental keys to finding your soulmate:
- Must be opposites in personality intensity
- Must be equal in power and life experience
- Must recognize power shifts and be able to compensate
- Both partners must be mentally stable and able to operate independently
I learn a new secret to finding your soulmate
In the past I have never found a good framework for personality matching because we tend to fill out the vacuum of what the other person is lacking or we diminish ourselves where the other person is dominant. I have always assumed this was a self-leveling occurrence and somewhat natural. If I dated a fiery girl I became her water and if I dated a watery girl my fire prevailed. This seemed reasonable but it always bugged me because dating watery passive girls bored the hell out of me however I felt the relationship was healthier with me taking a more masculine role in the relationship. I have now come to realize that I was wrong
The myth that girls are feminine and guys are masculine.
I was a bit intoxicated when I discovered (big surprise) that girls don’t like to be called masculine. “What am I she asked,” I didn’t notice she was preparing to blast me over the answer she knew I would give; I stepped in her steaming pile of anger anyway. “You are about 80% masculine,” I said laughing. “Oh so that remaining 20% accounts for my tits and vagina?” Everyone was laughing but I realized she wanted a fight, ironically a very masculine move. After we hated each other for a few weeks we ended up in bed because after all I am very feminine which fit very well with her masculinity.
What man or woman wants to be labeled the opposite of what is between their legs?
I have always loved to date strong and assertive women. However because of my own dysfunction I kept attracting a very unhealthy version of this personality. Therefore I incorrectly associated it with the wrong match for me. When, for the first time I dated a very feminine, nurturing girl I felt bored out of my mind but because she was mentally healthy I thought this was better suited for me and I continued to date absolutely the wrong girl.
Can’t see the forest through the trees
I say constantly that the perfect guy for you is going to be very similar to your closest friend. I don’t mean the girl you work with but the best friend you have ever had. This person is your true balance and although I teach this I have ignored it because of an incorrect association with “strong” girls. Oops! The masterdater is human too!
Every week I will explore the secret that very few people know about finding your true soulmate.
This will be a challenging few posts but I think they will possibly be the most useful I have ever written. Stay tuned!!
Continued – Soulmate, the secret to finding your perfect match – Power Balance








{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Mike,
Wonderful, wonderful post! Wow! Can’t wait to read the rest!!
Kim Hess Divorce Guru´s last blog ..Subscribe to my newsletter!
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I didn’t even say anything!
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Mike, there was a book out precisely about this by an older lady who’s a dating guru here in LA – do you know the book I mean? She makes a good case for masculine women to find feminine guys.
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This made me realize that no matter how feminine I look on the outside, my personality tends to be masculine I suppose. That makes me feel gross.
Hmm my perfect mate will be like my closest friend? This one will take some time to think about, but I’m sure you are right. In my dating lifetime I have had two amazing relationships–one lasted 3 years and the other only 3 months, but both guys were practically identical in their characteristics. Hmm.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..Online Dating Profiles: 3 Ways to Spot a Loser
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I think the best way I have heard this put is “the prettiest tomboy you ever met.”
That was said by Luke Wilson about Kate Hudson, when she was dating Luke’s brother Owen. And it must be said that Kate Hudson is effin adorable. It’s not just her looks, but also her laughter.
If you have masculine, tomboyish qualities, I think that’s the goal- to polish up your girlie side so you have those assets in play as well.
That’s what I do, anyway!
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I’m excited about this series. Archetypes are incredibly interesting and some of the most intense work Jung brought to the table.
Hey, weren’t you going to dedicate this stuff to your main girl, Madonna? Madge is pretty territorial.
Great job. I’m hooked.
Jillian´s last blog ..True love happens
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you are very masculine Dating Diva! but don’t feel gross about that! for a guy like me it is very sexy!
I imagine both guys were able to absorb your personality. They enjoyed and feed off the power you exerted and you loved the calm and clarity they inspired.
Hope I am right!
Stop being right all of the time.
But honestly my very analytical side is so much looking forward to this series because hopefully it will help me get a better understanding of why I keep picking the wrong guys and how to find the right one.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..Online Dating Profiles: 3 Ways to Spot a Loser
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you femme you!
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This looks really interesting. But I’m having trouble figuring out which type of personality I have!
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@Dallas Don’t give me a hard time or I am going to tell your dirty lesbian secrets!
@Kara I am going to explain very clearly the personality types and where you fit. If you still don’t know I will take you on a date and tell you personally.
Wow, imagine all of the dates you would get Mike. Then I could for real dub you as a male escort! Awesome.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..If He Lets His Friend Grope You, He’s Just Not That Into You
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@Mike thanks haha I’ll look forward to that
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Sounds like a killer idea. What kind of cut would you take as my pimp?
Mikethemaaterdater´s last blog ..Soulmate, the secret to finding your perfect match – part 1 of 5
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Ass kissing would be a start.
Dating Diva´s last blog ..If He Lets His Friend Grope You, He’s Just Not That Into You
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But Dating Diva… that would take all day!!!
Thanks for the dating tip. For me, finding your perfect match or soul mate lies on the soul itself. That will also mean using not only our physical senses in order to find that perfect match.
Ret´s last blog ..The Secret to the True Meaning of Christmas
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hi Mike,
Really, really nice article……
This catches my attention. But I’m having trouble figuring out which type of personality I have.
Can you help me.
And /i’m now dating with a guy and I don’t know if this is now my match….
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