Can you see why cling-on is so repulsive?
Giggles story
Last night I stayed at a friend’s house on my bicycle ride across Canada. This friend I met in Japan six years ago and being able to connect again really kicks ass!
This is not the point of course. The point is about when girls (or sometimes guys) CLING. This popped into my brain last night when meeting the neighbor of my friend. Lets call her Giggles… very nice girl, blond, petite and giggles like a tickle-me-Elmo. I was looking forward to talking to her but first I had to get the three-day layer of sweat, grease and road grime off my body. Unfortunately when I got out of the shower she was already gone.
“Jenny, where did Giggles go?” trying not to sound curious. “Oh she needed to get some closure with her ex-boyfriend, eh…” (Seriously, Canadians can’t seem speak without saying the word eh…) I narrowed my eyes, “I bet she is a cling-on huh?” Jenny thought about it, ”You might be right, he just disappeared for about two weeks and didn’t contact her, eh…” “Yup, classic response to the ultra needy clingy girl,” I sighed… “Bummer, it is such a horrible feeling.” She was supposed to come back but she didn’t and I imagine she got trapped in some break-up sex or he was cold and she cried her brains out.
I know from experience
You know when someone criticizes you over some silly mistake you make, like forgetting to check your engine oil for an entire year? or masturbating after cooking with a bunch of chili peppers? (yes, I actually did this) The reason they can give you a hard time or advice is inevitably because they have made that mistake already and I am no exception.
She dumped me and I cried like a little girl
I am at a Dennys restaurant in Japan (believe it or not Dennys is really good over there) sitting across from a Japanese girl named Ayako. I feel so strongly and so emotional that I don’t care about the other patrons seeing my red rimmed eyes. Ayako clearly does not want to be sitting across from me while I BEG to get her back. “What happened Ayako? Two weeks ago you said you loved me?? Why would you change your mind overnight?” I said this in a cracking whisper. “I don’t know, I am not comfortable anymore,” she said. The same things were said for another 20 minutes until it finally sunk in. I had lost her and there was nothing I could do to change it.
Was it my fault?
Why did I lose her? I fell in love little too hard and my reward was to be treated like I had herpes. She probably had no idea why she was in love one week and repulsed the next. Did I change? Did I say the wrong thing? Do the wrong thing?
Totally my fault
Absolutely!!! For some strange reason the BIGGEST turn off in the world is someone that is more in love you than you are with them. The clingy person is as disgusting as I am after a week on my bike after rolling around on a deer carcass, nasty…
Why is it such a turn off
Imagine you love fishing; I know you probably don’t but stay with me. You get past the whole hook squirting worm gut thing and you cast your pole. The instant it hits the water a large salmon take the bait but when you reel it in there is no resistance and you actually see the fish weakly swimming towards your boat. He floats on his side looking like he took a huge hit of X and wants nothing more then to have your eat him. You feel mildly disgusted since only a sick or half dead fish would do this and you turn him loose. Then… it keeps happening! In disgust you decide you don’t like to fish anymore. Why would you want to catch a fish that isn’t a challenge? How could associate value to a fish that threw itself on your hook?
Fighting the urge
There is a saying among motorcyclists, “You have either laid it down or are going to lay it down.” This means that a crash is inevitable on a bike. I could say the same thing with love-cling, everyone goes through this debilitating sickness at one time or another. The only way one can break free of it is if you respect yourself not to be someone’s sidekick. Never to be used at or cast away at anytime.
Is the guy an asshole for throwing you away? No… just like the diseased fish you become repulsive because the balance of power is wrong. Who in their right mind would ever want to be in a relationship where the feelings are not reciprocal? His response is not only correct but normal. The question is will you learn from the lesson being handed to you? Or will you label him as a fucking asshole and yourself as a pathetic loser?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I guess it all goes back to striking that balance between two people.
More importantly, being clear on what you want. Most of our relationships will fail, but with each experience we get closer to discovering ourselves and finding someone that is right for us.
tomasz´s last blog ..Who holds the plan for your life?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ugh. I’m a total clinger. Screw you.
And a pepper? Are you nuts?
Jillian´s last blog ..Friday confessional: I’m becoming my grandmother
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
LOL. Seriously…guys you should never handle any kind of hot pepper, seed, or sauce based on the inclination you will most likely reach down and feel the burn. I blogged about a similar incident. August 17th post titled, Come Down Now.
As for the clingy part – right on Eminem.
xcetrachick´s last blog ..I Know You Wanna See the Lookalike…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t have a problem with someone liking me more than I like them, just as long as I actually like them… they usually do stuff that make me laugh a lot more, like the one that use to say, “baby” with nothing else to say just because he knew I would answer. *that use to crack me up* I have only ever liked one person more than they liked me and it was the most horrible experience I have had in my entire life. We actually liked each other equally until he realized that I really liked him too, then he started acting like a azz… so of course I had to kick him to the curb which is when he decided to do the right thing… of course by then it was too late.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0