The myth of casual sex – What were you thinking? part 2 of 2

Just say no to casual sex?

Why a girl would say yes to casual sex?

We all want someone and we are all somewhat horny. I think it is relatively normal to be up for a joyride every once in a while but If handed the keys to a nice car who wouldn’t want to keep in their garage? If the salesman told you that it was only possible to drive in on Friday nights you might initially say yes but later one would be frustrated and almost disgusted that it was not yours.

I can change him!

Most women wait on sex to see if his intentions are sincere. This often works since most guys don’t have the patience to jump through a ton of hoops just for some sex. (of course a lot of guys promise the world to speed this up) There are a lot of guys me included that get attached after some involvement but the opposite seems to be far more common. It might be due to a greater release of oxytocin coupled with the drive to nest and create a family. Women are not geared like men to be okay with the blow and go.  It is very difficult if not impossible for women to act like a man with casual sex, something that a women is responsible for communicating to a man when her expectations in the relationship change over time.

The attraction of the unobtainable

Whenever I gave my disclaimer in college I expected the girl to give me the finger and encourage me ride a little merry-go-round on it. It amazed when nothing happened and we eventually become involved. However what I didn’t understand was the responsibility I had not play with someone’s heart. I figured if I told the truth then it was in her court, I was off the hook and I could scream bloody murder if she got angry about another girl or my lack of interest. The responsibility most men have is to never ever take advantage of a girls feelings just because you want the sex or companionship. Unfortunately many women purposely get involved with an unobtainable guy because she believes that she will be a more worthy person if she lands the larger, most elusive fish.

Addiction to the unobtainable

Men and women both are victims of becoming addicted to the unobtainable. This addiction is easily rooted and only take a few exposures to manifest. It often starts often with a parent that wouldn’t show love or a guy that wouldn’t reciprocate. This seeming rejection of you as a person becomes and elephant in the room and it appears the only way to get rid of it is to obtain love from someone like that parent or get the unobtainable guy to date you.  In other words if that one big fish escaped your hook you might spend the rest of you life fishing for the one that got away rather than enjoying the more easily caught.

What you are responsible for

How could you be responsible? Isn’t he the asshole that just wants sex? Please remember that he is not like your neighbor’s dog that would hump a dead poussom if given the opportunity. Guys are just like you, they need someone to spend time with, share with and be intimate with. The major difference is that he might be okay having that connection a new girl each week if they can!

In converse most women over the age of 25 chill on the promiscuity and desire more. Unfortunately women have a tendency not to communicate their needs to a potential partner for fear of rejection, they tend to assume that the fantasy they are experiencing is global and are angry/confused when they find he doesn’t share it. This is why communication from you is so important, make sure the guy is on the same page as you and never fall into the trap of creating something that isn’t there.

In the last post someone left a very interesting comment that I would like feed back on!

Jennie Says:

The secret is that we can sleep with you a few times without feeling swindled. After that it starts to become difficult. So if you are serious you have to cut it off after the first few romps; don’t expect a chick to be your fun time once a week for months on end. We have better things to do (or more potentially reliable men to pursue) and sleeping with you, despite your disclaimers, it saps our energy to do other things. So if you honestly do not want a relationship with a woman, cut the sexual fun short. You can’t expect the kind of intimacy that comes with repeat banging outside of a relationship; this is the sacrifice you make for your continued freedom. There’s nothing wrong with staying uninvolved, really. But when you want repeat performances from a woman you ask too much, without giving enough in return.

So what Jennie is saying is that it should be cut to only a few rolls in the hay? To be cut short the second there is any emotion starts to brew?

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