How sharing your flaws can expose your strengths

I would be looking

Almost crashed my truck

The gas gauge in my Scout truck was broken, perpetually stuck on E; I would use the odometer to know when to fill up. I knew I was really low but I the gas station was only one more exit away. It was a date with Erin at the time and I hid my growing anxiety. She yelled something over the roar of the engine and wind noise. My topless Scout effectively muffled her voice but I smiled back and laughed hoping it wasn’t a question. The exit was in range and I my anxiety eased a bit, then. BU!!…. BU BU BU BUBUBUBUB BURRRRRRRRrrrrrr…. it died… (god I have serious auto trouble on this blog) the power steering and brakes seized with the engine; I literally stood on the brake using the steering wheel for leverage. The road curved a bit before the exit and because I couldn’t steer we were driven up the embankment halting to a stop. Erin looked at me a bit pale and I immediately apologized, “Oh god Erin, I am so incredibly sorry, I thought we had enough gas to make it.” I shook my head in shame thinking not only was this incredibly embarrassing but it was the end of my relationship with her. Eventually, someone stopped to help us out and Erin was nice enough to go to the gas station while I waited for her. When she came back I smiled sheepishly at the guys driving, who grinned at me like I was an idiot, I was sure Erin felt the same.

Erin and I didn’t break up in fact she told me later that this was the very moment she fell in love with me.

Don’t ask me private questions!!!

I had a friend of mine that was extremely guarded. He is concerned to an extreme about people hurting or taking advantage of him. He has a wall around him as thick as the concrete at the pentagon. We worked briefly as business partners but every time I tried to understand his private life he would flip out on me. Since a business partner is very much like a marriage I felt I need to know a lot of personal things before became too involved. Alas this led to an explosion and I backed cautiously out of the deal. If this person was so protected, so fearful to trust me, I could not offer trust back. I was invited to his island but not allowed to come ashore. The last I heard from him, he accused of installing a virus on his computer to steal information. Needless to say we don’t talk anymore.

Just grin and bare it

I am very proud of the fact people open up to me the way they do. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the phase “I don’t think I have ever told anyone that before” or “why am I so comfortable with you?” This kinda happens with guy friends too and many share things that I wish they wouldn’t. I have had more than one guy come out of the closet on me (I had to trip them and run, just kidding I was nice). However I am proud of the comfort I instill and I often try to teach this to others. Yes, someone might hurt you if you are vulnerable but the more often you expose these vulnerabilities the less they hurt. Let him know about your weaknesses, your fears. Let her know that you are afraid that she won’t like you because you snore. Don’t be shy to tell him that you are a little self conscious about your tummy (even if it is perfect). It is okay even to share the really bad things if it is necessary. Not being ashamed of your fears and perceived imperfections make you human. This humanity allows him to show his unpolished side too, a side that you may just fall in love with.