You should move too
All four of them where sitting in the hot tub at John’s house, consoling their frustrations at Kyle with alcohol and anger. John noticed Kyle calling for the 5th time that day and finally picked up the phone. “Who is over there!?, who is with you!?” John sighs a bit “No one, Kyle…” Marie grabs the phone from John. “You fucking asshole!! Fucking all of us all at the same time! Without a fucking condom!” she breathes violently waiting for a response but Kyle has already hung up. Terry laughs approvingly since she is one of the many girls Kyle has lied to. He has led each girl on with promises of love and a serious relationship. Finally Kyle’s fragile house built of lies collapsed around him and even his guy friends feel alienated .
Fired from my Job
The first time I was fired from a waiter job it was crushing to me. I was 19, when the news was coldly delivered I shamefully teared up in front of everyone. I escaped the restaurant that night but kept in touch with coworkers. “I didn’t do anything wrong! He is such an asshole!” Some avoided me, some agreed with me, one crusty older chef said, “Yeah he really had a hard-on to fire you” I agreed, not understanding but eager for support. I longed for that job, wanting a second chance. About one year later new management took over and I applied again. The fact I was fired was still on file and crushingly I was turned down. I left thinking what the hell is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? I don’t deserve this!
A few months ago I walked by the closed wreckage of my old restaurant. Even the prime location against the surf of the pacific could not save it. I felt a sense of nostalgia and loss. A hole inside of me was still there yearning to be accepted by the boarded up shell of this old building.
One of the most important lessons I have ever learned
When I lost my job at the restaurant I didn’t move on. I didn’t learn, I focused ONLY on being right. I wanted to catch the manager in the parking lot after work and beat the crap out of him. I AM RIGHT DAMN IT!! I AM A GOOD GUY! PEOPLE LIKE ME!! I didn’t do it, instead I found another job just like it and got fired. Found the same job again, again and again about 6 times before something started to sink in. Am I responsible? Am I choosing this kind of job, manager, situation on purpose???
When you insist on being right and refuse to accept what IS you are doomed to repeat it until you learn the lesson.
The power of next
Everyone demands to be right because they refuse to shake up their framework of how the world works. This leaves most of us gasping for vengeance when a relationship crumbles around us.
This was not the first time Terry was treated terribly by Kyle, it was the third… She kept going back to him because he left a huge hole in her ego by dumping her again and again. Terry kept trying to get this piece of ego back from him, desperately needing to fix what he had damaged. Maybe the third time around he would finally show her that she was worth loving. NEXT!!! Is what she should have said the first time. NEXT!!! She should have screamed at the walls. She should have moved on right away. When you yell NEXT!! at the a bad relationship, you may not understand what went wrong. You many not know what you are responsible for but you will avoid the vicious cycle of repeating your mistake. Eventually you may understand, it may take years BUT you must have faith. Moving on from something ugly and letting go of the desperate need to preserve your ego is probably the best advice I will ever give on this blog.
- It just didn’t work out… Why? Not your business! NEXT!!!
- Let him/her keep that part of your ego, it will come back when you no longer need it
- Focusing on being right is in the opposite direction of peace
- Will you still care a year from now? or a month? Just move on…NEXT!!
Step #14 To have or not to have sex, When should you put out?
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You know Mike, I am glad you wrote about this because at least for me in the past few months has been a period where I really got to understand many things and also look back at the past few years and understand what I did wrong and why.
I mean in terms of relationships, i would go as far as saying probably at a younger age they aren’t as valuable for long term potential as they are later on. At least from my experience, I would say when you are in your teens, it is the time to learn about relationships and socializing and from those mistakes you become the person to be later on.
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Some guys don’t get that they aren’t always right. It’s the inner kid. Most ‘bad boys’ are really brats who didn’t grow up. Needless to say, bad boys need some good spanking.
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Anything that stops growing is bound to die.
The people that linger in bad relationships when it is clear that they are going south surely deserve what is coming to them :
)
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MY GOD! HOW BADLY MY EX NEEDS THIS TID-BIT OF VITAL INFORMATION!!!!!
As a matter of fact can you do me a favor and just email, mail and leave this article on his voicemail his information is…. LMAO!!
UGH! NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Some people can’t find it in themselves to move because they’re still in a state of denial. I’m coming from a bad relationship and NEXT is a good advice to follow. By the way, your picture depicts the Filipino spirit of “bayanihan” – a community helping one of its own when in time of need. Great theme for a blog.
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Thanks for your very uplifting post. I was touched on the part about the job experience you had. It’s really hard to move on specially if you did nothing wrong and you did your best but still rejected or fired. But if we will not move on, we will be stuck.
BTW nice picture. It was an old custom in the Philippines lifting your house by villagers to transfer to another location. It’s called “Bayanihan”.
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I would love to go to the Philippines, maybe after I go to china!?
I read your blog it was really touching, and helped me to uplifting me as well. And always keep positive attitude.
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Hello Mike, you are very welcome!
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