- This actually is me with one of my classes, god I miss them
Mike is abused by a five year old
I remember the scorn in five year old Keisuke’s eyes as I patiently tried to discipline him. “No Keisuke, don’t like that,” I told him in my very poor Japanese. Keisuke mouth is contorting to gather up more saliva to spit on me again. I dodge at the last moment and he sprays another student.
I started drinking the minute I hit the train station home, thank god for Japanese beer vending machines. With two jumbo Kirin beers in tow, I hung my head and I thought the same thought I had been thinking for the last six months. Why don’t my students like me? That day was the breaking point and I no longer cared. I was there to teach, not for a popularity contest. I completely stopped trying to be everyone’s favorite teacher and started just doing my job. I stayed on track focusing only on being a good teacher. Guess what? I become an absolute stellar sensei, able to handle children like Babe the pig could herd sheep. I was still baffled with one thought though – Why was it that a 5 year old child sensed my need to be liked and spit on me instead???
Ping makes me grovel
I used to be a waiter and have worked in a ton of places. One of my favorites was a brewery in the college town of UC Davis. This is where I met Ping. She was a KNOCK OUT, I was smitten (clearly not for the first or last time). Pathetically I had a friend tell her “Mike thinks you’re cute and he wants your number.” God… if I could only go back and slap myself around but then of course I wouldn’t have learned. Ping told my now laughing friend that if I didn’t have the guts to come over and ask for her number I was not going to get it. Shit… Crap…! I’m called out! I shyly wormed my way towards her table and forced myself to talk. I did get her number but I don’t think I have ever, EVER been so played by a girl. This continued for about three months and Ping milked out of me of every bit of groveling self-respect I had. I was miserable… desiring her but wanting desperately to respect the guy in the mirror. I thank her now though for two invaluable lessons.
Guys scare me
I have always had problems making friends with guys and I could never understand why. Amazingly it was little Keisuke that helped me understand. The problem was that I was trying to be liked. I had a need to be approved of by other guys and for one reason or another they would find a way to ignore or despise me. Keisuke and 33 other kindergartners made it very clear that if your desire is to be liked you will get walked on. Ping taught this lesson as well, she also taught that some people will take extreme advantage of your neediness. Ping and Keisuke had a streak of meanness but as a teacher I noticed even the nice kids felt uncomfortable around me. The turning point was when I focused on myself and my objective, I was there to teach and I would do the best job I could.
Here are some lessons from my kids and teaching
- Don’t pay attention to the emotional criers, they just want attention
- Discipline the bad ones and immediately move on
- Focus on your objective not your ego
- Never let someone act disrespectful, everyone will copy
- Watch other successful teachers and copy their success
- It is okay not to be liked as a teacher
- Never be afraid smile and say no…
Step #13 The Power of Next, moving on from bad relationships
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
You are right Mike, people that get all emotional piss me off as well. Like are you 2 and throwing a fit?
I think the classical one is guys letting things go because the girl is emotional or crying or whatever. That seems to always work in their favour.
your thoughts?
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Haha the little kids are soooo adorable!
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