Step #4 The law of attraction vs. your sex life

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This is a continuation of a 15 part series on finding the perfect partner.Thanks for those of you that sent me your lists. Some were pretty funny! With the authors permission I might post some of the things they said.

In the last post we started to get a little more specific with what would form the perfect guy or girl for you. If you didn’t do this exercise, I HIGHLY recommend you do. We will use the list you made from before to really get clear about what you want. Click here to go back

Mike wakes up

I used to race bicycles in Japan, this meant that I was on busy surface streets with thousands of cars. Everyday I would saddle up on a pinprick of a seat in padded faggy cycling gear. The second I pulled off my street my attitude would change radically. Traffic was the enemy, drivers and taxis out to get me. I would ride the 25 miles to work 4-5 days a week. I was a crazed gaijin, weaving in an out of a sea of cars. People would pull out in front of me, try to beat me to a signal or just turn into me. For years I would rage at them, swearing in English first and later Japanese. “GOD DAMN FUCKING TAXI!!” I would scream as I skidded to a bouncing halt inches from broken limbs. A disturbing revelation came to me once in another taxi incident. I screamed at him in twisted anger and I saw his face, it was shocked and shaken, he was honestly scared. With wet fingers the candle of my anger went out and it hit me… I realized in profound sadness, I was responsible… Replaying the movie in my mind, I realized I had seen the taxi about to pull out and I PURPOSELY GOT IN HIS WAY so I could yell at him. I hadn’t realized that I did this until I saw the pain on his face. I caused this, I created this controversy, I was the one that wanted to shake my self righteous fist at the heathen driver.
From that point on I took a completely different view towards the drivers in Japan and strangely in the next 2 years of cycling. I never had one accident or skirmish. I had no idea how responsible I was for the world around me.

The Law of Attraction

I believe that one of the most powerful forces in the world is the law of attraction. There are many different theories as to how this law works and I am not entirely sure which is right. The Secret believes in a magic like manifestation of your desires. Science would say that it is your amygdule that goes into over-drive noticing your desires. I say that it is very ego based and we emotionally seek out what we need to support our view of the world. I have experienced a tremendous amount of evidence for all of the above. The creepiest is the secret like notion that the world is yours to create and guide, Steve Pavlina has a fascinating article about this Law of Attraction and I really enjoyed The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale. Do I believe this? I don’t know… but I certainly am going to do whatever it takes to get to my goals and whatever appears to be working I will do more of!!!

How critical this is in relationships

I have said before the world is a refection of what is inside of you. If you are foul inside, you will attract all that is foul. If you hate men/women and think they are scum you will draw them like cockroaches just so you can have the pleasure of squashing them. You will bring into your life any and all that support your structure of the world.
In the last post we let out some of this negativity in order to be pushed away from it AND to identify what is attractive to us. If we get clear about what we want and truly believe it is right around the corner and possible. I assure you, it will arrive.

Get clear and avoid what you don’t want

On my cycle I knew that I hated rude selfish drivers but instead of being repelled by them I was drawn into their dance and we would tango in anger together. Later I focused on what I did want, to have a great work out and a fun ride to work. The rude drivers where still very much there but I would not dance. It was shocking how effortless it was to go around the person who cut me off or smile at the taxi that hit his breaks suddenly. I was finally clear about what I wanted and what I didn’t want I avoided easily without a second thought.

What do you want?

This is the same exercise from the last post. If you didn’t do the list from the last post that okay but less effective. I suggest you go back and do it!  This is a list of 20 things you want in the perfect partner, use the negative list to help. Please don’t forget to include the physical which BTW needs to be a reflection of your personal physical state. (you are not going to attract a 10 if you are a 5, unless you are rich…) Be as specific as possible. Really paint this person in your minds eye.
A the top of the page write

Who is the perfect guy/girl for me?
1. He brings me flowers but is not weak or needy
2. She is comfortable with my family and wins them over with her sweetness
3. She is crazy in bed and milks me like a cow!
4. He is Jealous only when I need him to be
5. He is average height and dresses simply, an unassuming guy
6. She is the girl next door, someone I am attracted to but trust completely
7.
8…. To 20.

(feel free to send me these! my address is: mike the masterdater at gmail dot com)
Don’t forget that the last five are the hardest but can be the most revealing, go to 20!
I would also like to add that this list is going to change radically as you change and grow. The person you are looking for is perfect for you at this point in time they may not be later. Think of them as a stepping stone and when you are ready, attract the next stone.

Bullets:

• If you desire to be RIGHT you will attract a whole lot of people that are WRONG…
• Getting clear about what you want may or may or may not be magical but regardless it works!
• Avoid what you don’t want with as much attention as you would pay a mosquito
• Focus on what you do want with the tenacity of a shark after blood
• People attract their equals, desire a generous guy? Want a sexy girl? Be that first…

Step #5 Getting sexy, is it really all that important?

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