Did you just pee on me??

Warning! R rated!

Mom, Dad… don’t read this post.

When I was younger I got together with a girl that happened to be dating a friend of mine! Not a very good friend mind-you but still…

Initially this flirting with cheating was very exciting! but my conscience got the best of me and I refused to see her until she left him. Which to my surprise she did… Her ex boyfriend and her had never slept together so I was her first and strangely enough it happened in a cave overlooking the ocean but that is another story.
Eventually she learned how to have an orgasm with me and she was hooked. Not only was she hooked but she started becoming very aggressive sexually! During one of our encounters something really surprising happened. She was on top of me grinding away to a happy place when suddenly… I felt something warm and copious running down my butt checks! AND the louder she got the more things started running!!! (AHHHH!!!! WTF???) I froze in horror and waited for her to finish doing her thing. I was deathly silent, eyes wide and not even breathing, She suddenly stopped shocked back in to reality “you okay?” not only had come back to reality but sounded perfectly normal considering she just had an orgasm!?
I weakly asked her  “did you just pee on me??” she instantly retorted “no it must be you!” Being a bit surprised by this I defended my self very intelligently “no I didn’t! it was you!” Here I was 19 years old, in a girl’s bed in a pool of urine soaking out to a six foot diameter. Then one of those moments hit, you know that feeling of such embarrassment and emotional confusion that you are deer in the headlights.  I had no idea what to do, so I took the default, get the hell out!! I left her confused embarrassed and probably a bit damaged. I feel bad about that now.

I have had this problem with women for many years and I finally realized it had something to do with me. I talked to other guys about this and they certainly didn’t have this problem! I figured it was because I was shaped a little different and was pushing on my partner’s bladder from the inside. When they had an orgasm they lost some muscular control and… I got soaked.  Since about one in every five girls I was with had this problem I eventually got used to it and I would often be caught saying.  “I think you just peeed on me”  “I did??” she would inevitably answer and freeze in embarrassment. I would reply, “don’t worry about it, I think it is my fault since it happens all the time to me.” This would usually elicit a bit of a pause, as she would dwell on the phrase “all the time.”

A few years back I had another experience with this and an ah ha! moment. I slept with three different girls in close succession and each of whom lost their bladder on me. THEN… AFTER 20 YEARS OF BEING A MALE SLUT THE LIGHT BULB CAME ON.  They weren’t peeing on me. I couldn’t believe that for so many years I was so confused!! All of the medicine and physiology I learned was actually blinding me! Everything I read told me that it was impossible that girls couldn’t do that!! If only I could have gone back and explained to the younger me what happened. I think I would have been pleased rather than mildly grossed out. Maybe I would have continued to date the first girl rather than break up in embarrassment.

So ladies remember if you ever are accused of peeing on a guy, set him strait.
“No stupid…. I just ejaculated on you.”

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