This one is one of the more inflammatory ideas that I explain to people yet I think it is the best metaphor for dating. Sometimes don’t know why this upsets people so much since it seems so clear to me. I feel sometimes when I explain this to people it is like telling a hardcore Christian that the Ark story most likely came from a pagan belief. It seems to offend men and women’s core programming. That some how sales is an evil thing and to relate it to relationships! Oh my gosh! Unacceptable! But… in my experience nothing comes even close to explaining the dynamics of dating.
• When an attractive man walks close to you, what do you do with your body language? Slump? Mess up your hair? Maybe spit at him? No, if you are confident you stand tall, push your hair back and give a nice big smile. This is sales…
• When on a date I imagine you talk about how much you hate men, about your most recent yeast infection or possibly about how this zit on your butt just won’t go away. No, you put your best face forward, put on makeup, flattering clothing and laugh at his lame jokes. This is sales…
• When you go to bed with a man for the first time do you tell him you have a headache? Maybe complain about your left breast being bigger than your right? Maybe you pass wind when he is down south? NO! You hold that gas in and let it go the second he leaves! You turn the lights down and you do your best to make him feel good. SAY IT WITH ME! THIS IS SALES!
Whenever any of us wants something we put on an act. We are still ourselves but a filtered version. A version that is possibly better than what we see in the morning mirror. This is a good thing, it is normal, it is not a game.
Now here is the tough part, a really good sales person does not kiss your butt when you walk through the door, they do not shyly ask if you would be most kind enough to buy their product. They are strong, they assume you will buy, they are not needy they don’t beg. They assume that they have the best product out there. They are confident and if the customer says no, who cares! NEXT!
The city in Japan I spent most time in was Nagoya a very wealthy city. Most of the wealth in this city is generated from one company, Toyota. It is the third largest city in Japan with more cars per person than any other Japanese city (I hope my stats are still right). I would say about ¾ of the people in Nagoya drive a Toyota, not only that but there are models of Toyota there that cost the same as a Mercedes but are considered better quality by the Japanese. When my girlfriend bought brand spanking new Nissan cube (looks like the xB but more cute). I was a bit confused and asked her. どうしてニさんのくるまかたの？ Sorry, couldn’t resist! “Why did you buy a Nissan??” She said something that surprised me. “In Japan Toyota is known to be difficult. You have to have very good credit, they cost a lot more and the sales people are arrogant.” I think most of this is true except the last part. I think that my girlfriend was intimidated by the Toyota dealership. Toyota is ridiculously popular in Japan so the sales people don’t have to work as hard for your business. They charge a lot more and ask for more stable buyers. They are “the shit” and they know it.
Now imagine if the Toyota dealership was a guy. Would she be dating him at the moment? Or would he be too intimidating for her purchase?
How about you? Are you driving the car you desire? Or do you need to step up to another level to be able to purchase that Toyota?
Memory bullets!
• Dating is like sales
• Good sales people are confident
• Good sales people never kiss butt for a purchase
• Good sales people NEVER bring up the negative
• Good sales people INFLATE the positive
• Good sales people create demand for a product by limiting the supply
• Good sales people realize that they can choose who they sell to.
