I am too fricken sexy and it is ruining my love life
I remember telling a friend that I just couldn’t do it. There was no way I could ever get married in Japan and stay married. If I married the same girl in the States, no problem but Japan?? Impossible…
Amy and Jordan
They were the sweetest engaged couple. Amy was fiery and fun, Jordan quiet and friendly. They were the kind of people that seemed to have no flaws and it was hard to imagine that they could ever struggle. The two of them got engaged in Canada and like many young couples they decided to travel the world together. They ended up in Japan as English teachers and for about a year this went swimmingly. Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: breakup, Choice, Love life, Too sexyRelated posts
He spit in her face and she went back to him
I would go postal if someone spit on me
A new girl just moved into my house. Lately I feel like I am the mascot to a sorority. There are now 4 girls living upstairs, granted one of them is only three but I think she has the hots for me. I wish the new girl did, she is absolutely adorable. Why did she move in with a lecherous guy like me living downstairs? Two reasons, she knows me and trusts me (nuts I know) but the bigger reason is the guy she was living with broke up with her and gave her three days to move out.
He’s got a growler
She was a mess when I showed up at the house. Christina was red eyed talking to my roommate Lacy. “Tell Mike what he did…” said Lacy folding her arms. Christina said “He didn’t mean it plus it was my fault.” “Tell me what?” I said making a U-turn from the bathroom. Christina couldn’t make eye contact with me and stared at the carpet. “He SPIT on herrrr” said Lacy Glaring at me and dragging the R over her lower teeth. “He WHAT?? Christina… he spit on you?” I asked, “yes” she said. “Did he spit in your face?” again she said yes and anger welled up in me. Read the rest of this entry »
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Happy and divorced or miserable together?
Abusive wife? or bad power balance?
I got this letter a few days ago and I wanted to share it with you. Jim said he might stop by and look at the comment section so please give him the wonderful advice you have given in the past. - Mike
Mike,
I’ve always had this feeling that there is a balance in a relationship….and that gets imbalanced after a while. I’ve always had a hard time putting my finger on exactly what it is and what makes up that balance though.
I found your site Googling: relationship balance power attraction interest These seem to be some of the fundamental components….and I was looking for more.
Reading this prompted me to email you: Using what you can’t stand about that asshole
I was actually MAKING my own lists when I found your site. I’m trying to talk myself into divorcing my wife. We have broken up before marriage and almost divorced during marriage 5 or 6 times at least. I know in my gut it will never improve into what I really want out of a relationship…kids make it difficult…but I cant blame it all on that because I stayed even before kids. Read the rest of this entry »
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The cheating gene, who does it and why
Evil cheaters?
The first time I encounter infidelity
I remember vividly the first time I was ever unfaithful (does that mean there was a second?). I had just met the girl of my dreams. We had similar views and we were both enrolled at Westmont, a Christian college in Santa Barbara. Everything was going perfectly… until I ran into my ex girlfriend. Now, I have to confess something, usually when I tell this story I soften it and say it was only weeks after I met Karen, implying that we were not that serious and I not such a bastard. Here is the truth, It was three or more months into our very serious and committed relationship. Karen didn’t live with me but we were about a month away. Simply put we were on a love high, religious high and about as emotionally stoned as that guy you see hanging outside of Starbucks. In our euphoria the last thing we expected was this. Read the rest of this entry »
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Guy code two! Maybe we are not the only morons… ?
The Hangover
I talked to my friend Cheri about this just yesterday. We talked a bit about ethical fudging for friends along with girl code and guy code. She told me an interesting story about her friend Emily. Cheri said Emily was very much love with her fiancé and was the last person you would expect to meet someone. It was on a business trip for IBM when she met him professionally. The two of them hit it off immediately. After a few drink and excellent conversation Emily went to bed with him. Read the rest of this entry »
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Guy code… the secret society (of morons)
Do I have any Chlamydia on my face?
I still remember the tension in his voice when he called me, sounding as if he had trouble with the police, “Dude, I need your help.” “Sure buddy, what’s up?” I said, “Hey man… you got to promise to keep this a secret” he said as seriously as a death in the family.
Now before I tell the whole world Jack’s secret let me give you a little background. Jack was married and his wife was six months pregnant, they were friends with my girlfriend at the time and in fact we met at their wedding. Jack was a friend but I kinda looked the other way when he did un-cool stuff. He was a friend but I didn’t enjoying being a party to his lies. Jack was a cheater, big time… Read the rest of this entry »
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A Sweet guy and Karen’s terrible fear of commitment
Chicken block? No wait...
Hi Mike, I hope you can help me out. I checked out your website and I found the info useful especially about texting. Well, here is my real problem. Whenever I get close or serious with a guy, I push them away. I don’t know what my problem is. I can handle going out to clubs, and with other couples, but when it comes time to meet the family, I make up excuses. I even make up excuses not to hang out the next day even after spending the night. I don’t want him to make me breakfast I just want to leave. I was with someone on and off for 3 years and still couldn’t get pass this point. I could hang out but not on that level. It’s cool but I back down. I even passed up going to weddings with the guy or family outings and never invited him to mine. I want to be normal Read the rest of this entry »
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Why a wealthy pretty girl can’t find a good guy
Jeanette's perfect guy
Got a question off of twitter and I asked the person to email me, her name is Jeanette and she an Aussie girl. So make sure you add your own two cents!
Hi Mike,
I would be really interested in hearing the ‘master’s’ opinion on this topic. It’s just something that I’ve noticed recently and is starting to bug me.
I’m 25, working in wealth management, generally confident, like to look nice, am a fan of food, wine, shoes, socializing and sex….
Last serious relationship, 4 years, ended last October, we’d actually bought a house together (now selling it)
I loved him, had absolutely no issues about money, although I was always more driven career-wise. More than happy to split the financial responsibilities etc. At the end, I earned over twice what he did. Read the rest of this entry »
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My boyfriend wants to borrow $4,000 dollars, should I do it?
Don't lend money to that Joker!!
I am a dipshit
One of the stupider things I have ever done, besides getting married in Vegas, was to get a joint credit card… (with the same girl of course) Obviously I will never ever ever ever do this again. At the time I was injecting heavily with love-heroin and was drooling mad. My girlfriend thought she needed a CC and I thought that in my vast financial wisdom I could trust her. Does this make any sense?? I mean… even a 12 year old would know not to do this right?? Clearly I didn’t and next thing you know I am the proud owner of a 10,000 dollar CC debt along with… DRUM ROLL! Read the rest of this entry »
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The most powerful (frightening) form of power balance in a relationship 5 of 5
I am not really sure if I should tell this story since it is very disturbing to me. However it is the greatest illustration of how I have been affected by the intensity of another. Please understand that I am extremely uncomfortable telling it…
Not surprisingly it is Halloween
I am out on the town in Japan on a Friday night. There are smatterings of people lightly dressed up in something cute but hardly resembling a costume you might see in the states. I am somewhat relieved this is the case since I am tired of scouring thrift stores and over priced Halloween shops to find only weak parts to the costume I want to build. I guess I should stick to being a pirate Read the rest of this entry »
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How him “wearing the pants” leaves you naked 4 of 5
Pathetic guy
There are two types of relationship balance that I constantly see. One where the couple is equally matched, they push and pull for balance but are generally happy. The second is where the man or the woman carries the majority of the power; most of us know this as he or she “wears the pants in the relationship.”
Revolving around her boyfriend
Jean is super sweet but she struggles constantly with power balance at work and in relationships. Her boyfriend seems very nice but when the doors close he becomes highly controlling. When she tries to assert herself he argues her down to “see things his way.” This frustrates good friends and they constantly tell her she needs to move on but it has been five years. Jean is a satellite Read the rest of this entry »
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Giving back power, keeping balance in the relationship 3 of 5
Help him keep the balance
She wouldn’t let me break up!
Ai was clearly very angry, she had me cornered and was aggressively explaining things to me. At the time my Japanese was not so hot and my ears where nearly bleeding in the effort to understand. She dumbed it down even more and I finally started to get it. She was looking at me with frustration trying to explain, she said, “every girl you have dated, did you leave her or did she leave you?” I was a bit surprised at the question because I don’t think I have ever thought about it. “I guess I was always the one to leave.” I said wrinkling my brow not knowing where this was going. She continued, “I think you are a coward mike.” (okay at the time I didn’t know the word coward and I was quite embarrassed/shocked/angry when I found the word in my $400 dollar Sanyo electronic dictionary) Read the rest of this entry »
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Anger and the demanding of power in relationships 2 of 5
You cannot force balance
“Nooo!!!” She screamed at me. “No no no!!!” she was red in the face eyes rimmed with redness and tears running down her face. She straddled the front tire of my road bike stopping me from moving forward. (The scene must have been a bit comical with me still wearing tight shorts and a helmet) My face was grim, I wanted desperately to give into her but I knew I just couldn’t. “You can’t do this!! I won’t let you do this!” her eyes turned from sadness to determined anger. I hardened as well and pulled the bike back to get away from her. She grabbed the handlebars refusing to let me go. “Why, Why?!!!” She yelled and her voice cracked with the intensity. I pushed her hands off the bike slowly but with force. “I’m sorry…” Read the rest of this entry »
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The enormous necessity of maintaining power balance in relationships 1 of 5
Joi has complete power over me
I saw Joi’s car through the window out of the corner of my eye . I panicked and burst out of the patio door, vaulting the railing and sprinting after her car. In a deep painful yell I screamed out her name. “JOOOII!!!” I was so cracked-out on adrenaline I almost caught her car at the light. She saw me in her rear view, burned out in her emerald mustang, and was gone…
Joi was supposed to drop some stuff off at my house and we were supposed to talk about things. She had decided to go back with her ex and I was more crushed than if my neighbor poisoned my cat. Read the rest of this entry »
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The top ten reasons why he is going to run screaming from the relationship
That kid is freakin terrified
I am currently on vacation (from what I don’t know) so I haven’t had time to write a post. This is a rewrite of something I wrote a while ago. Hope you enjoy it and are patient enough for me to harass men on the next post.
10. Bad sex
Have you ever heard the expression you don’t know what you don’t know? I don’t think Sarah had any idea that her teeth were filleting my wiener and her hands were stress balling my family jewels into knots. My grunts were not from a state of pleasure. When I told her about it she got mad at me. “What do you mean it hurts? I am really good at this! What is your problem!?”
Unfortunately though, I have often put up with bad sex to be with someone I loved. It inevitably led to a break up, which was ultimately my problem… I didn’t tell her. I broke up with her instead of making my needs clear.
The easiest way to fix this is leave the door of communication open. You might feel a bit vulnerable at first but what works for Chuck makes Larry want to pee.
9. Jealousy
I used to make up lies about other women to Vicky, mainly because she wanted me to. She would work her self up in to a jealous lather and when she was at the peak she would attack me! Good fun but a little creepy.
Jealousy is so multifaceted and here is one strange facet! Most jealousy is a product of normal insecurity with a curious damaging side effect. It often leads to really good sex. Which is an EXCELLENT Read the rest of this entry »
